Outside the Asylum
Have no fear, beefy brothers and stout sisters! The mighty Michael Bloomberg, mayor of New York City, is on the case even as we speak. Fresh off a victory against the scourge of public smoking, he’s fixed a new target in his sights — one of the truly diabolical demons of the dietary dominion: Soup.
With the exception of the occasional troll who bumbles onto our message boards, liberals are few and far between here in the enlightened empire of the Personal Liberty Digest. Therefore, something tells me the number of Bob Livingstonians who bemoaned the indefinite suspension of MSNBC’s reigning rant-meister Keith Olbermann is lower than the number of transgender census takers working the northwestern Montana survivalist compounds.
The precincts are dark. The campaign signs are already fading. The absentee ballots have submerged beneath the Chicago River. ACORN has returned to teaching “girls” how to conduct “business.” The rough beast is reborn. The GOP is back.
Today we will exercise one of the most fundamental of the freedoms granted us by the greatest assemblage of intellect in human history. Today, thanks to the foresight and forbearance of our Founding Fathers, we rise together to choose the path we shall collectively — and individually — follow into the future.
Democrats, driven to the heights of hysteria by an impending Election Day which may well send Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif.) to smaller digs, and her Senatorial Deputy Droopalong Harry Reid (D-Nev.) back to Reno, were literally driven to paroxysms of joy at the images of a purported Rand Paul backer taking President Barack Obama’s own strategy of “stepping on their necks” a little too literally.
Even Stalin didn’t move this fast. It took Uncle Joe 15 years to put an x in the box marked “Trotsky.” Note to Juan Williams: Stay the hell out of Mexico for the foreseeable future.
Pity poor Maureen Dowd. How awful her life must be, carrying the psychic scars of indignities suffered during adolescence so far into her twilight years. Try to forgive her embittered rant against the girls who gave her a hard time in high school.
Actually, stranger than normal things are afoot in the Golden State. Considering they elected a governor who can’t pronounce “Golden State,” stranger than normal is a stretch in the land of fruits, nuts and O.J. jurors.
President Barack Obama’s most recent assault on conservatives is a new twist for the Democrats’ old school tactics of distraction, duplicity and defamation. As a November to Remember approaches in the fast lane, Obama has pulled the handbrake on reason… and steered his party into oncoming traffic.
While Democrats prepare for the winter of their discontent, Republicans are practicing their best end zone dance moves. As a student of history, I thought I might offer a Santayana-style caveat. Presuming November produces the electoral Waterloo the Democrats deserve, the GOP needs to remember the lessons of the past.