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Outside the Asylum


No Thank You, Mr. President

When I talked to Mr. Livingston on Tuesday morning, I suggested that today’s edition of Outside the Asylum could be a stream-of-consciousness look at the State of the Union address and its attendant hoopla. “Sort of a ‘Twitter feed with verbs’ thing;” I offered. Bob was thrilled with the concept. (Well, he didn’t specifically say “no.”) When I looked at my first draft, it was longer than a Democrat mayor’s rap sheet. Bob did say he wanted it to be shorter than, say, the State of the Union.

The Keith To Our Hearts

It’s official, kids: MSNBC finally decided to get their heads in the game. After eight years of Democrat talking points, incomprehensible Leftist babble and the most inexplicably smug presentation outside a Michael Moore “documentary,” the official television outlet of the tinfoil-hat set has tossed Keith Olbermann onto the pavement in front of 30 Rock. 

Boxing History

Ask a randomly-selected group to name an American civil rights organization, and it’s a fair bet that seven out of 10 will respond: “The NAACP.” The other three are likely busily thumbing through their copies of “Moody Loners’ Monthly.”

You Might Get It

Well, that didn’t take long. As the proverbial smoke clears in Tucson, the march on the Bill of Rights is underway. On Monday, Congressman James Clyburn (D-SC) announced a renewed push to abrogate the 1st Amendment to the Constitution. 

“Unintentional” Co-Conspirators

I wanted to discuss how years of inflammatory, often violent, rhetoric from the far Left walked us all right up to the moment in Tucson where liberal hate led to liberal violence in one horrific afternoon. But none of that really matters. 

Gas’n’Go Under

While driving my hideously fuel-inefficient SUV earlier this week, I noticed the warning light on my instrument cluster alerting me that my gas tank was perilously close to “MSNBC‘s primetime ratings.” Since I have access to neither the private jet nor the chauffer-driven limousine Al Gore uses when he leaves one of his multimillion dollar mansions, I pulled into the next gas station. 

Bad Call

This past weekend, I sat in front of the television watching football and trying to ignore the headache I’d earned on New Year’s Eve. 2010 was a wild ride for me, but just like 2009, I managed to avoid committing any felonies. I deliberately complicated no criminal investigations. I did no time at any Federal penitentiaries. And for sport, I tortured and killed exactly zero dogs.

Pay-For-Slay

From our “statements we never want to see in an email from a U.S. Representative” file: “We would ask that you not broadcast this accomplishment out to any of your lists, even if they are ‘supporters’… Thus far, it seems that no press or blogs have discovered it… The longer this goes unnoticed, the better our chances of keeping it.”  — Rep. Earl Blumenauer, (D-Ore.) 

Stalled From The START

If there were any doubts as to President Barack Obama’s religious affiliations, then this past Wednesday ought to roast them like chestnuts in an open fire. With assistance from the more pliable Republican spines in the Senate, Obama handed the Russian military machine one whopper of a Christmas gift.

Happy Freaking Holidays

During an appearance on Inside Washington last weekend, National Public Radio‘s Nina Totenberg was rambling through the usual Democrat Party talking points, which she presumably thinks pass for erudite commentary, when she jerked the wheel of mendacity for a moment to offer her sincere apologies for uttering a grossly offensive word…”Christmas”

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