Now that everybody knows (cough, cough) the Los Angeles International Airport shooter was “anti-government,” it follows as night from day that a) he must have developed his political views from conspiracy websites and b) those sites are culpable, right?
Is J.D. Salinger dead enough yet? Can we prosecute his corpse because Mark David Chapman read his dreary novel Catcher in the Rye and then killed John Lennon?
How about all those young men who found “the good pages” in an embargoed copy of Henry Miller’s Tropic of Cancer and then left home and family, or the later generation of boys who imbibed Jack Kerouac’s On the Road and joined the Beat Generation? Surely some able lawyer can mount a class-action suit against the estates of those two dead authors.
Any day now, I’m expecting the White House to announce the formation of a new cabinet post: the Inflammatory Rhetoric Department.
Hiring: analysts, evaluation experts and SWAT teams trained for home and workplace invasions.
“What are you contemplating, Mr. Smith? Where did you get your information?”
Mass communication psychologists (aka psyop specialists) are working overtime to forge connections between accused criminals and their prior “influences.”
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No longer is it enough to say, “The criminal made his own choices. He did what he did. He’s responsible.”
That went out when the state began taking seriously psychiatrists’ testimony in court.
But recently, things have gotten far more intense. So-called anti-government statements, wherever they are found, are taken to be assaults on Mommy and Daddy.
“How could anyone think the government is bad? It’s absurd. Government Daddy works all day at the office to help us, and at night he comes home and pats us on the head and government Mommy gives us hot chocolate…”
And therefore (against any semblance of logic), if a criminal makes statements against the government, that government and its allied stooges must track down where these ideas came from and pin the blame there, at the source, where it belongs.
“No, the shooter would never have turned into the shooter had he not read volatile statements on website X. Once he did, he was hooked. His mind was transformed into receptive mush. He was helpless. He picked up a gun and walked into the mall and opened fire.”
The “new analysis” stems from the notion that humans are nothing more than reflex biological machines.
So in the spirit of contributing to this new field of inquiry, I have a couple of choices of my own that need serious investigating.
First, remember a little outfit called Project for the New American Century? Coming to power after 9/11, its highly influential chiefs lobbied hard for an invasion of Iraq. Talk about inflammatory rhetoric.
Add up the subsequent planes with bombs, the missiles, the soldiers with tanks, the deaths on both sides. Now that was a mass shooting, in full view of the American public.
And if you want to wander back much further into that hated territory called history, you’ll come upon another wild-eyed bunch called the Council on Foreign Relations.
In the early days of World War II, they were already making plans for the post-war peace. They designated a committee to determine whether the United States could survive as an isolated entity or whether it needed to go out beyond its borders for vital resources.
The CFR naturally concluded the latter and, doubling down, decided that the United States should install, through force and clandestine operations, a Pax Americanus covering the whole globe. Imperial empire.
Those CFR boys knew how to inflame. And they had marvelous connections at the State Department, which, in turn, had a clear pipeline to Franklin Roosevelt, the President.
As a matter of fact, right now somebody should be investigating what the White House is reading. Because with all those drone strikes and with all this nonstop surveillance, it’s obvious they’re on some pretty nasty websites.
One more, while I’m at it: I want to know which conspiracy website the U.S. Supreme Court is wrapped up in. Because its decision to allow a corporation or labor union to spend big money to advocate for or against a political candidate… well, those Justices are obviously being driven crazy by some master conspiracists.
Meanwhile, what about the millions of people who absorb their knowledge from The New York Times, plus the three clowns anchoring the evening network news? That insane and monstrous influence should be investigated immediately, because the victims are dying, drip by drip, from terminal brain damage.
Whenever Brian Williams, Scott Pelley, and Dianne (“don’t cry for me, America”) Sawyer speak, neurons are irretrievably lost.
Here are a few more treasonous anti-government people who should be investigated, in absentia:
“The most dangerous man to any government is the man who is able to think things out for himself, without regard to the prevailing superstitions and taboos. Almost immediately he comes to the conclusion that government he lives under is dishonest, insane and intolerable…” (HL Mencken, 1919)
“Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.” (Mark Twain, 1881)
“Society in every state is a blessing, but government even in its best state is but a necessary evil; in its worst state an intolerable one.” (Thomas Paine, 1776)
Where are these men? We must curtail their operations. What websites are they running? Who might they influence to pick up a gun and commit a crime? We must locate these three men and get them to a psychiatrist, so they can be diagnosed with the correct mental disorders and treated with the appropriate drugs.