Too Cool For Obama


Well, color me mortified. Here I was, operating under the assumption that despite his faults — and they are legion — President Barack Obama is the coolest cat ever to strut through the hallowed halls of 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. He hangs out with all the right people. Hollywood stars like George Clooney line up to not only rub shoulders with Obama, but to throw money at him the way he throws money at union thugs and liberal layabouts. Hip-hop superstars like Jay-Z and Beyonce chillax with him for movie night in the White House situation room. He slow jams the news with Jimmy Fallon in the wee hours. He gets down with awards show jackass Kanye West. Even the first lady is a fashion icon, with designers clamoring to swaddle her in the finest togs taxpayer money can buy. If that’s not the resume of a cool President, then the hell if I know what is.

Fortunately, the Congressional Black Caucus has arrived to instruct me. As it turns out, not only is Obama not cool, but I am a racist for thinking so. Except that he is cool, and I’m racist for not thinking so. Or something. If you’re confused, allow Angela Rye, executive director of the CBC, to straighten everything out. During a sit-down with C-SPAN, Rye said:

This is probably the toughest presidential term in my lifetime. I think that a lot of what the president has experienced is because he’s black.

It’s certainly not because he’s a profligate, borderline socialist paper tiger with the political mores of Joseph Stalin. The fact that Obama’s poll numbers are falling like Piers Morgan’s ratings must be due to the color of his skin. And God (sorry, Democrats, “unknown force that may or may not exist and may or may not be the creator of the universe”) forbid anyone note that Obama is the sort of fellow with whom you might want to hoist a cold one or two.

Lest you remain uncertain about Obama’s “coolness,” Rye snaps the notion with a wet towel, attacking an ad by the conservative group American Crossroads that calls attention to Obama’s cool factor:

… it was just very racially-charged. They weren’t asking if Bush was too cool, but, yet, people say that that’s the number one person they’d love to have a beer with. So, if that’s not cool, I don’t know what is… even “cool,” the term “cool,” could in some ways be deemed racial.

There you have it, you miserable right-wing racists. According to the always evenhanded CBC, calling the coolest President in the history of the Nation “cool” is racist. However, call him anything less complimentary than “cool,” and see if the arbiters of sensitivity at the CBC are “cool” with your criticism.

For that matter, step outside the bread box of liberal dogma on any issue of national significance and see how most of the Democratic Party responds. Take issue with abortion and you’re fighting a “war on women.” Suggest reining in runaway Federal spending and you hate poor people. Hell, point out that America’s economy might function better if the so-called “Occupiers” take a shower and go to work, and you’re one of the “1 percent” (a very bad thing to be, unless you’re Obama, who has salted away an eight-figure pile without ever holding a private-sector job).

Welcome to the very heart of liberal thinking. During the scandal-plagued disaster that has been the Obama regime, liberals have endeavored to define the parameters by which all political discourse is conducted. By their standards, not only are all disagreements determined to be “racist” or otherwise biased, but overexamined compliments (“cool” used to be a “cool” word by which one might be described) are deemed biased. Take this concept to its logical conclusion, and you recognize that by eliminating all comments by people outside the liberal cabal’s approval, they’ve silenced everyone except themselves.

It’s the return of the undead ghoul Saul Alinsky — only with a much broader reach. And a Nation under the sway of Alinsky’s acolytes would be a most “uncool” place to be.

–Ben Crystal

Personal Liberty

Ben Crystal

is a 1993 graduate of Davidson College and has burned the better part of the last two decades getting over the damage done by modern-day higher education. He now lives in Savannah, Ga., where he has hosted an award-winning radio talk show and been featured as a political analyst for television. Currently a principal at Saltymoss Productions—a media company specializing in concept television and campaign production, speechwriting and media strategy—Ben has written numerous articles on the subjects of municipal authoritarianism, the economic fallacy of sin taxes and analyses of congressional abuses of power.

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