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The Zombie Bug-Out Bag

June 11, 2012 by  

The Zombie Bug-Out Bag
SPECIAL
Zombie Max™ bullets have been field tested.

There’s been a lot of talk lately in the prepper world about how to prepare for the collapse of the U.S. dollar. But the fact is, if you are attacked by a zombie, it won’t matter how much gold you have. “Zombie apocalypse” continues to be one of the most popular searches on the Web. In the event that zombies start running amuck, here are some things you might want to have handy.

Deer Repellent

According to Westlake Ace Hardware, deer repellent has been known to deter zombies. Cover your tracks and you might be able to prevent an encounter with a zombie.

Zombie Bullets

In the event that you come face to face with a zombie, zombie bullets made by Hornady will give you the edge you need. The product includes the following disclaimer:

Hornady® Zombie Max™ ammunition is NOT a toy (IT IS LIVE AMMUNITION), but is intended only to be used on…ZOMBIES, also known as the living dead, undead, etc. No human being, plant, animal, vegetable or mineral should ever be shot with Hornady® Zombie Max™ ammunition. Again, we repeat, Hornady® Zombie Max™ ammunition is for use on ZOMBIES ONLY, and that’s not a nickname, phrase or cute way of referring to anybody, place or thing. When we say Zombies, we mean…ZOMBIES!

Blow Torch

You should always have a backup weapon. If you run out of zombie bullets, a blow torch can be used as an ancillary mode of defense. Zombies move slowly, making a blow torch an effective means of protection. A blow torch has many other helpful uses. Fire comes in handy when in a survival situation.

Low Beam Flashlight

Zombies are attracted to light, so steer clear of lanterns and torches. Instead, opt for a low beam flashlight and use it sparingly.

Brain Gelatin Mold

Zombies dine on brains. Use Zombie Brain Gelatin Mold to trick them and satisfy their craving. Zombies are easily duped.

Machete

A machete can be used for cutting limbs: those that belong to trees and zombies.

Bite Suit

If you have the money and the stamina, wearing a bite suit may be a viable option. Just be aware that bite suits do not typically cover the neck and head, a zombie’s favorite area.

Full-Face Helmet

Even if you don’t have a motorcycle, a helmet will still be helpful. A helmet combined with a bite suit will give you 100 percent protection from the mouths of the living dead.

The Zombie Survival Guide

The Zombie Survival Guide: Complete Protection from the Living Dead by Max Brooks will provide you with all the information you will need in the case of a zombie attack. With topics ranging from organization to clothing to transportation, Brooks will help walk you through the steps of survival.

Zombie Identification Chart

In the event of zombie attacks, people will become sickly. Zombies have been known to spread illness. It will be difficult to decipher between a sick human and a healthy zombie. Several zombie identification charts are available which will help you know the difference.

In order to keep your head, you’re going to have to use your head. Pack these 10 things and you’ll be more prepared than your neighbors.

Bryan Nash

Staff writer Bryan Nash has devoted much of his life to searching for the truth behind the lies that the masses never question. He is currently pursuing a Master's of Divinity and is the author of The Messiah's Misfits, Things Unseen and The Backpack Guide to Surviving the University. He has also been a regular contributor to the magazine Biblical Insights.

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  • Rennie

    You forgot to mention the most likely place to meet the “living impaired” (“zombie” is such a hateful word), is election booths, so be on guard!

    • rendarsmith

      LOL! Exactly! Next thing you know there will be a new organization, NAAZ (National Association for the Advancement of Zombies) spreading PC against “zombieism”. Wouldn’t want to hurt their feelings while they bite our necks!

    • skippy

      HAHAHHAAA!!! That just made my day!!! :) Thanks Rennie!!!

    • Rocky Night

      Dead people have been voting Democrat for years here in Chicago.

      Have you seen Namcy Pelosi? eww That’s why they need to eat brains.

      • Tom Schade

        Love that…. Nancy needs all she can get, ditto Harry and company!

    • 45caliber

      Rennie:

      This last election here in Texas a couple of weeks ago, I tried to get a roll of the “I Voted” stickers to take to the graveyard. It seemed to me that they should get their deserved recognition for it, after all. The gal handing them out told me I couldn’t have the roll until I told her why I wanted it, then she tried to find out. She couldn’t so she sent me to the election foreman, who is a good friend of mine. He just laughed and told me no. Sad to say, our local zombies weren’t recognized after all.

  • http://twitter.com/OurRepublic1776 SavetheRepublic (@OurRepublic1776)

    and to add…buses full of zombies brought to the polling booths by the SEIU

    • 45caliber

      Or ACORN …

  • 45caliber

    “The Zombie Survival Guide: Complete Protection from the Living Dead by Max Brooks …”

    Oh, MAX Brooks! I thought at first it was Mel Brooks …

    • independant thinker

      Close, Max is Mel’s son.

  • sodbuster

    blah, blah, blah, you better vote the “ins” out in Nov. May not cure all our problems but will
    at least help. Obummass has nothing in mind that will benifit you. He has his marching orders from the elite, he is a muslim and I assume some of you know what that means. I’m
    86, not a worry, but you young idiots better shape up or you will lose the best nation that ever exsisted. Read about history dummies………..

    • http://none omegaman

      I live in Arizona and we have some great “ins” who I will be voting for “again”.

      • http://gravatar.com/prsmithsr prsmithsr

        Not McCain, I hope :(

  • Elizabeth St. Johns Lair

    I think everyone should add to their ballot, Who votes for the president of the united States; shall fill in a space and write the Constitution, for President!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! No Man! If everyone does this, will have knew elections and knew people! The Constitution wins, and those no goods are done! The corporations are people too, well so is our Constitution, we the people! Were done with you garbage, and were taking our Country back!

    • 45caliber

      Sorry, won’t work. Back when Nixon was running for President, a DJ in California started a program to vote for Mickey Mouse if you didn’t like either candidate. Mickey got a LOT of votes! But a federal judge ruled that since Mickey wasn’t a real person, he couldn’t be President, so Nixon won. This case would be the same if the Constitution won.

      • omegaman

        Sounds like you’re the moron I’ve heard so much about.

  • michaeljbeglinjr

    Articles like this make me wonder if people are worthy of “intelligence”. The truly sad thing is that there are probably people out there that think a zombie attack is possible. Humanity is getting dumber by the day.

    • Buster the Anatolian

      “The truly sad thing is that there are probably people out there that think a zombie attack is possible.”

      It is possible as proven in the last couple of weeks. Not the mass of zombies rising from the grave as seen in the movies but individual cases of people behaving in a zombie like manner.

    • omegaman

      Speak for yourself, moron.

  • Ghost

    Yeah, but what if the zombies are blind? They may be able to smell or hear you. I am blind myself, and I have seen some people who could pass for zombies, except their as slow as melassis. I could run and poke at them with my cane, and get back a good fifteen feet before they could do anything about it.

  • dcjdavis

    Zombies are bipedal drones created by our loving government for the purpose of bringing us all under their mind control. They have no real intelligence, and so can be tricked. But be wary, as they may display a physical strength and a speed of superhuman proportions. Take care, also, in the way that you protect yourselves, for the government doesn’t take lightly the loss of any one of it’s creations.

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