The Worst-Case Scenario

Could Hillary Clinton swap places with Joe Biden?

Last week, my esteemed colleague John Myers donned his swami hat and peered into the future in his piece “2012: The Year of Living Dangerously.” As I perused his prognostications, one in particular caught my eye: “Expect us to have to endure another four years with Barack Obama as President.”

I even reread the line to make sure I didn’t suffer from some sort of temporary dyslexia. Not that I find Myers’ predictions even slightly dubious — after all, he sports a pretty unblemished record. Recoiling in horror at the very prospect, I poured myself three fingers (instead of my usual two and a half-ish) of Matthew Gloag and Son’s® finest blend and soldiered on.

Not long after, I ventured upon a singular omen spewed forth by Robert Reich, the diminutive Labor Secretary during the Administration of President Bill Clinton, Obama transition adviser and Democratic Party troll-about-town. Reich, who has kept busy since the end of Bubba’s salad days with such noteworthy gigs as chairman of the racist liberal hate group Common Cause, offered this potential Nightmare on Pennsylvania Avenue: “Get Ready For A (sic) Obama-Clinton Presidential Ticket.” The vertically challenged Reich even laid out the grammatically challenged particulars:

Hillary Clinton and Joe Biden swap places. Biden becomes Secretary of State — a position he’s apparently coveted for years. And Hillary Clinton, Vice President.

While the idea of trading Vice President Biden to the State Department for the current Secretary of State and former “co-President” might seem far-fetched, consider this: Hillary Clinton has lived for the Oval Office since the day she packed up the Rose Law Firm records and headed for the Senate. In fact, one can make a credible case that she’s been training for the executive event since the moment she said “might as well” to whichever minister married her to Bill.

Although Reich claims “no inside information,” he is hardly some casual outside observer reading tea leaves and guessing at their political meaning. He’s a true believer; a “heart and soul of liberalism” type — and a potential Cabinet nominee should Hillary Clinton ever squeeze into the chair behind the Resolute Desk. I doubt he gazed into the crystal ball without some prompting.

Thursday morning, I broached the specter of an Obama/Clinton 2012 ticket to a learned friend of mine. He scoffed at the idea, saying: “Hillary Clinton will never buy into playing second fiddle to that overblown moron.” Actually, he used saltier language, but his point was hard to miss. I pressed him to imagine a person who is so consumed by ambition that she’d willingly follow a doughy-faced lawyer with a fetish for fat girls from Arkansas to Washington, D.C., and back. Imagine a person so self-important that she gave birth to the original version of Obamacare (remember Hillarycare?) in the unelected office of the First Lady. Imagine a person who actually thinks opposition to her bizarre — and illegal — attempts to assign herself authority in a chiefly ceremonial office was a “vast right wing conspiracy.” Imagine a person who ran for the Presidency in 2008 in a campaign which once hinted at the possibility that her challenger might not survive an entire term, but then accepted a Cabinet post in his Administration? What wouldn’t such a person do to boost her chances?

Of course, like all things involving liberal ambitions, potential pitfalls exist. I documented in my recent piece “Oh no, poor Joe!” that Biden is an absolute buffoon. Allowing him to become the Nation’s chief diplomat to the world would be as foolish as allowing Bill Maher to talk to Girl Scouts without adult supervision. And while Hillary Clinton might not harm Obama’s re-election hopes, her naked ambition and smug hostility makes her one of the more polarizing figures in Washington. She hardly drags any fence-sitters into his yard.

Nonetheless, if Myers is right — and I dearly hope he missed the mark this time — Obama is poised to occupy the Oval Office through 2016. If Reich is right — and I fervently hope he’s as close to the truth as sworn testimony offered by Eric Holder — Hillary Clinton will have the pole position for the following four years.

Myers called 2012 “the year of living dangerously.” The prospect of an Obama/Clinton two-headed monster makes “dangerously” as much an understatement as “Robert Reich is mildly undersized” or “Eric Holder fibs.” Note to Myers: if you and Reich are both correct, I’m crashing on your couch next November.

–Ben Crystal

Personal Liberty

Ben Crystal

is a 1993 graduate of Davidson College and has burned the better part of the last two decades getting over the damage done by modern-day higher education. He now lives in Savannah, Ga., where he has hosted an award-winning radio talk show and been featured as a political analyst for television. Currently a principal at Saltymoss Productions—a media company specializing in concept television and campaign production, speechwriting and media strategy—Ben has written numerous articles on the subjects of municipal authoritarianism, the economic fallacy of sin taxes and analyses of congressional abuses of power.

Join the Discussion

Comment Policy: We encourage an open discussion with a wide range of viewpoints, even extreme ones, but we will not tolerate racism, profanity or slanderous comments toward the author(s) or comment participants. Make your case passionately, but civilly. Please don't stoop to name calling. We use filters for spam protection. If your comment does not appear, it is likely because it violates the above policy or contains links or language typical of spam. We reserve the right to remove comments at our discretion.