The Magician’s Rabbit And Bureaucratic Idiocy

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The long arm of the Federal government has reached inside Marty Hahnes’ magic hat and pulled out a handful of bureaucratic idiocy.

Hahne performs magic shows for children in southern Missouri under the name of Marty the Magician. For his big finale he pulls a rabbit out of a hat — a time-honored magic trick with little risk to the rabbit, magician or audience.

In 2005, a U.S. Department of Agriculture inspector cornered him after a show. She asked to see his license. “License for?” Hahne asked. “The rabbit,” was the reply.

To keep his rabbit in the magic act Hahne was told he had to purchase a $40 annual license, take the rabbit to the veterinarian and submit to surprise home inspections. And for a kicker, if Hahne planned to take the rabbit out of town for an extended period of time, he had to submit an itinerary to the U.S. Department of Agriculture. His rabbit travels with him in a small cage adorned with USDA-mandated stickers, indicating which end is up.

But this year, the idiocy got worse. To keep his rabbit license, Hahne was told he had to submit a disaster plan covering what would happen with his rabbit in the event of every conceivable emergency: fire, flood, tornado, faulty air conditioning, ice storm, power failure.

Luckily for Hahne, a professional disaster plan writer heard about his plight and offered to write a plan for his rabbit. It must be completed by July 29. As of last week, it was 28 pages long and growing. But it was still short, considering what the USDA requested it include, according to Kim Morgan, the professional who volunteered to write the plan.

While Hahne, thanks to Morgan, is responding with a serious plan, some other magicians are responding to the requirement with all the seriousness it deserves. “I’ll take a piece of paper and put down, ‘Note: take rabbit with you when you leave.’ That’s my plan,” magician Gary Maurer said.

The original law requiring the licensing dates back to 1966 and applied to laboratories that used animals in research. But the paper-shufflers in Washington, D.C., and the psychopathic elected class expanded the law with amendments and regulations so that the original four-page law grew so that there are now 14 pages just for rabbits. It grew exponentially under George W. Bush after Hurricane Katrina and now applies to all licensed exhibitors.

And you think you live in a free country?

Personal Liberty

Bob Livingston

founder of Personal Liberty Digest™, is an ultra-conservative American author and editor of The Bob Livingston Letter™, in circulation since 1969. Bob has devoted much of his life to research and the quest for truth on a variety of subjects. Bob specializes in health issues such as nutritional supplements and alternatives to drugs, as well as issues of privacy (both personal and financial), asset protection and the preservation of freedom.

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  • Karolyn

    If only they spent their time on more important issues! This craziness exists not only in the US though. On FB I just read the story about a woman who, with her four dogs was taken in by police in British Columbia at 2 in the morning because she had two more dogs than local law allowed and did not have up-to-date licenses. They kept the dogs for 8 months!! And everybody thinks Canada is better?

    • KeiClark

      No, Karolyn … not everybody … we have more than our fair share of nutcakes here, too. But I did wonder, at first, if this rabbit story was for real.

  • Warrior

    The “busy people” are a very creative bunch. They receive their gubmint jobs and to show their worth, they produce new “rules” and “regs”. Some of them get kinda twisted up in their own “self importance” and they form their own set of rules. Why here in Chicago, we have lawsuits filed all the time against the “progressive regime” and it’s cronies for “illegal” acts against John and Joan Q. Last year there was an award of $77 mil to 6,000 firefighter applicants from the mid 1990’s for giving “biased” tests. In the last couple months there have been multiple $10 mil awards for people “mistreated” by a certain police officer. And the list of “illegal” activities just grows and grows. And who ends up paying for this behavior? That’s correct, not the “busy people”.

  • rhcrest

    We need to hold a huge bonfire and burn most of the laws and regs created in the last 150 years.

    • Vigilant

      “We need to hold a huge bonfire and burn most of the laws and regs created in the last 150 years.”

      Along with the political witches and warlocks that are still alive and had a part in it.

    • KG

      Tell that to the state of Texas and it’s super-admended “redemmer” state constitution that still retains many of the old Souths ghosts of Confederacy. However, the ‘good’ lawyers and rich people who actually write the legislation here won’t dare change something that has benefited their class.

      http://texaspolitics.laits.utexas.edu/7_3_1.html

      • leroy

        Why pick only on Texas?? ALL states have old, outdated laws that should be repealed or invalidated. I’ll bet the next state you don’t like is Mississippi. Just don’t spit on the sidewalk in any state, some 90 year-old lawman might arrest you.

        • Margo

          When the States or the Feds repeal or make an old Law invalidated, we get the stupid ass laws we have now. Do you know it is against the Law in Louisiana to boil live crawfish!! Hell, we pick out and toss the “dead” ones.

      • Vigilant

        What’s a “redemmer?” And what does your link have to do with it?

        • KG

          OOps, my bad! I don’t know if you really want to know what a redemmer is, but I meant to say ‘redeemer’, as in a person who redeems, or saves, someone . Thats what all the old confederate sympathizers called it caus it put Negros and poor white folks where they belong. And since I’m a resident of Heaven, or Texas, I am kinda partial to the political insanity that Texas suffers from.

          • Ringgo1

            So you are partial to the “pro-choice” crowds actions in Austin recently? “Hail Satan!” KGB, the true progressive. You fit right in with the “Keep Austin Weird” bunch. Most Texans have more sense than you.

      • rhcrest

        I’m referring to the federal gov’t KG. The states can be dealt with on an individual basis by the citizens of each state.

  • rivahmitch

    He should have just made the inspector disappear.

  • laura merrone

    Its really not free any more…Union of American Socialist Republics is what it is turning into. I just wanted to transfer my 401K to an IRA and got a 14 page form to fill out. Now, I don’t feel like doing it so I am procrastinating. This is ridiculous. Everything is a bunch of rules, laws and regulations. A boom to the professional pencil pusher class, that’s for sure.

    • fenix1

      Better take the penalty and take your’ money out of your’ 401k. Buy Gold Mining stocks NOW as they are cheap at present but getting ready to take off before the year is over! Physical Gold is also a good idea. REASON: Those in our government are talking bout taking over our 401’s and other retirement plans and “Managing” them for us…you know for our own good! We’ve seen how well they’ve managed everything else. Fact is they’re broke, China and others are bout to cut us off and the money printing is bout to come to an end. They’re looking at other ways to help prolong their damned spending spree and to pay our…that is THEIR debts. The “party” is just about over People!

      • laura merrone

        I don’t have enough to buy gold or anything else. We will probably use it with the cost of everything as high as it is. We live in Germany now and have left the States 7 months ago. We both have jobs but are just barely making it. But we’re used to it, so no big deal. We like our jobs for as long as they last, working for the US military. However, I’m learning German just in case…

        • Native Blood

          Good luck Laura. Living on the German Economy is challenging but rewarding. Zum Wohl! (Sorry, no umlauts on the keyboard:-)

    • W J L

      If you think it is bad now just wait until the government takes over your 401s and IRAs.

      • laura merrone

        I’m cashing out the little I have in there and that’s it…but I have to fill out that huge form…

    • Native Blood

      Borrow half….fill out the forms for cash-out or rollover later.

  • Karolyn

    The animals do need to be protected. Overall, their really are not enough protections in place for animals, ie. circus animals and dogs shot by cops; however, sometimes the regs are just too far-reaching. Now, if the magician was a rabbit breeder and had a herd of rabbits, it might be a different story.

    • http://personalliberty.com/ Bob Livingston

      Dear Karolyn,

      You write: “The animals do need to be protected.” Please inform me of the article and section in the Constitution that gives the Federal government the authority to protect animals or regulate them in any way.

      Best wishes,
      Bob

      • Karolyn

        It doesn’t have to be in the Constitution. It’s just common sense. Do you support mistreatment of animals? Do you think there should be no laws regulating treatment of animals? If so, that is very sad, because they need to be afforded the protections that people have. Even with protections in place, the number of animals that are mistreated, killed. tortured and abandoned is staggering. Also, I did not particularly indicate that protections need to be federal. Right now Congress is in the process of voting to take away some protections via the Farm Bill.

        • fenix1

          This is something as well as alot of other things that should be left up to the states! NOT the money grubbing idiots in washington!

          • Karolyn

            I do agree.

          • Ibn Insha

            Giving too much authority to government at any level is dangerous. Do you really want your state government to tell you how to treat animals? Think again. It is only a matter of time before that too gets too big and out of control.

          • Karolyn

            There are already plenty of laws on how to treat animals, as it should be. Man was given dominion over the animals and that means protecting them from evil as well. You appear not to be educated to what is going on with atrocities against animals in this country and all over the world. Glad I am an animal lover. Would not have it any other way.

          • TheOriginalDaveH

            Yet, you don’t seem to mind human beings set up for mistreatment at the hands of those you hire (with our money) to Force your way on the rest of us. To me evil is people who can’t even care for themselves (that’s you Karolyn) but they are happy to butt into other peoples’ business using Government as their bully boys.
            Glad I’m a Freedom Lover — wouldn’t have it any other way.

          • Karolyn

            If I couldn’t care for myself, Dave, I would not have lived to be this age. I wouldn’t have had a couple of businesses and hustled to make sure the bills were paid. Why do you have to assume things about people? Of course, we can’t all be perfect like you. You never seem to notice the points we agree on but judge me solely on the points we disagree on. And I do believe our views coincide on a lot.

        • Margo

          Abuse of an animal, a pet (or what should be a pet) dog, cat, whatever you may have as a pet, is unacceptable!!!! However, I raised cows, pigs, had ducks and deer, at one time. We also hunt for our meat, because we eat meat here!!!! What ever happened to the good old days, before you needed a permit allowing you 2 trips to the toilet?? To much Govt in our face, time for them to BACK OFF and OUT!!!!! Watch the movie ” Idiocracy” this is what America is becoming, IDIOTS!!!!

          • Cliffystones

            HEY!!! You get two trips?

          • Doc Sarvis

            So you believe you only get two trips to the toilet? Now I see why Conservatives have trouble thinking.

          • TheOriginalDaveH

            More nonsense from the Liberal Progressive Doc Sarvis.

          • Native Blood

            Cheez! I drink too much coffee for that rule. I pity any beer drinkers?

          • Margo

            No, Doc, I do not believe it, (how stupid could some one be to think a sarcastic comment is a belief, we can always tell who the Liberals are when they open their mouth!!!!) But, with the way the Federal Government is all up in our business and faces (NSA, IRS just to name a few) it wont be long before they come up with some other IDIOTIC Law, EO, or Rule!! Like having to have a permit for only 2 trips to the toilet, because human waste is polluting the O Zone.

          • ChiefBoring

            Margo, please see note above to Doc Sarvis re union contracts. No kidding!

          • ChiefBoring

            Troll Doc, the mentioned two trips can be found in many union contracts. Look it up.

        • http://personalliberty.com/ Bob Livingston

          Dear Karolyn,

          You write: “It doesn’t have to be in the Constitution. It’s just common sense” For the Federal government to be involved, yes, it should be an enumerated power in the Constitution. It is progressive logic like yours that has led us down the road to tyranny.

          You write: “Do you support mistreatment of animals?” Non sequitur.

          Best wishes,
          Bob

          • Karolyn

            Actually, Bob, I actually agree with you. I put finger to key without thinking enough. The state and local government should have the say-so on treatment of animals. The only problem with that is when it comes to livestock. There should be uniform laws when it comes to interstate commerce of livestock.

          • TheOriginalDaveH

            Social pressure and education are the keys to humane treatment of animals, NOT Big Government. When Government gets involved they typically cause more problems, not less.
            The more Government Grows, the more Corruption Grows, and the smaller the Economy gets. It’s just a fact of life. If you don’t believe me, then just spend some time studying the least free countries on this list and see what kind of environments they have, both financial and physical:
            http://www.heritage.org/index/ranking

            Also read this article and learn a little about how and why Government is worse for the environment than is Private Enterprise:
            http://www.mises.org/freemarket_detail.aspx?control=111

            The bottom line is that Leaders are always happy to expand their Power and Perks, but are they really worth what they cost us?

          • Vis Fac

            Fair treatment of interstate livestock is under the auspices of the FDA at least it’s supposed to now enforcement is another issue. As far as I can tell government has selective enforcement programs to use as they wish.

        • Cliffystones

          I understand where you’re coming from Karolyn. I have at least a half-dozen baby bunnies in my side yard at any given time and I would get pretty angry if I caught someone intentionally trying to mistreat them. I’m a hunter myself. But the one time I decided to shoot a lizard with my .22 just for fun I realized the difference between hunting and just being evil towards animals.

          But what Bob is saying is true. We have local animal control departments to ensure the aforementioned magician will treat his bunny decently. I’m also quite certain that he probably wants to treat his bunny nice, if nothing else to protect his investment. But having a Federal Government bureaucrat poking his nose into this is (as you agree) a big waste of time and taxpayer money.

          As for my previous draft of my disaster plan, I’m glad those who replied got the humor. I’d hate to have the folks from PETA kicking in my door :)

        • Ibn Insha

          No, animals do not need to be afforded the protections that people have. You believe that people and animals are equal. No, they are not. I am not condoning mistreatment of animals but affording them rights is a disgrace to humans. If people like you prevail humans will be serving animals and eating grass.

          • Karolyn

            Despite what you might think, animals have feelings too and need protection from those who would abuse them. Are you for dog fighting? How about animal rape? Hoarding? Torture? If there were no laws protecting animals, the creeps who indulge in these practices would never stop. The only living being with unconditional love is a dog.

        • Vis Fac

          The treatment of animals is an ethics issue driven my a moral code. If you have read or know anything about PETA you’ll know they are not as benevolent as you might think. PETA is like Al Gore with his global warming conspiracy sounds good in the media looks good on paper but both are complete shams. These same people who decry fair treatment towards animals and pontificate on global warming are the same people that slaughter thousands of babies through legalized abortions each year. These people are amoral as well as hypocrites. You cannot legislate morality.

      • Johnny Buller

        That’s how it starts–with a reasonable idea like “the animals need to be protected”. Then the government gets hold of that idea and writes whole volumes of regulations, and finds a way to make more money from it. Then we end up with another inept burocracy that costs taxpayers billions of dollars and does very little the fulfill it’s stated mission–to protect the animals.

  • Cliffystones

    “fire, flood, tornado, faulty air conditioning, ice storm, power failure.”

    fire, roasted rabbit.

    flood, rabbit stew.

    tornado. rabbit pate.

    faulty a/c, sautéed rabbit.

    ice storm, rabbit-sicles.

    power failure, plain ‘ol dead rabbit.

    That all fits in less than one page. Sounds to me like this guy is really trying to write a rabbits’ “affordable care act”.

    • leroy

      Good idea……kill it (humanely, of course) during any “crisis”, or disaster, and then eat it .
      The philosophy in this country (USA), not just among liberals, but conservatives as well, feel a need to regulate and tax everything imaginable.

      • Vigilant

        The philosophy in this country (USA), not just among liberals, but neoconservative Republicans as well, feel a need to regulate and tax everything imaginable.

        There, now that’s correct.

        • Truthful

          And we are a free country!?!?????

          • Vigilant

            Haven’t been since the 16th and 17th amendments.

    • mnkysnkle

      If your wabbit gets wun over……You got hossenpfeffer. Or better known as “shiskabugs”.
      http://www.itusozluk.com/video/hasenpfeffer/34172

  • TheSilverRanger

    Hmmm. Sounds to me like we need to bring back the HUAC and probe the USDA. All this, because that communist woman from the USDA who harrased that magician was corrupted by the greatest evil in the world. An evil known as, Altruism.

  • waymas

    Do cities have the same requirements for their rats, stray cats, skunks,
    squirrels, pigeons, spiders, ants, and butterflies? What about the
    lobsters in the live tanks, and the live clams at the store? What about
    small pet stores? Do they have an ark out back? Your dog, cat, and fish
    are next. What is your flood and tornado plan?

    • TheTruthHurtsAsWell

      Don’t give them any ideas…

    • TheOriginalDaveH

      That reminds me of an event in my life which equally illustrates the ineffectiveness and inefficiency of Government.
      I was getting gas in a beach city and I spotted a duck with her ducklings trying to seek safety in a bush from a couple of nearby crows. It was a fairly high traffic area and I was concerned about their safety. As I pondered what to do, a crow flew down and grabbed one of the ducklings and flew off. So I got on a pay phone (before cell-phones existed) and tried to contact the local Government wildlife agency. After waiting for several minutes, getting nothing but one long menu after another, and then being put on hold, I noticed a nearby pet store. So I went over and solicited the owner’s help and we gathered up the ducklings and took them to the safety of his store.

      Government is NOT the Solution. Government is the Problem.

  • TheOriginalDaveH

    Thanks, Bob, for making people aware of the idiocy that is Big Government.

  • chrisnj

    Stupidity in government is nothing new, but the proportions to which it has grown, the total lack of official embarrassment when exposed, and the exponential increase in the rate of growth of such crass stupidity is beyond out of control.

    A trend this monumental can’t be completely by accident, or coincidental. What purpose would be served by breaking down the walls of respect for civil government, societal norms, and the rule of law?

    Could it be some sort of …. transformation? And who is unapologetically all about that?

    To be respected, the law must above all be respectable.

    • TheOriginalDaveH

      If you become aware that Government is just a very large Gang, then it all becomes clear. What may appear to be stupidity is simply Leaders feathering their own nests. The “stupid” ones are the ones who put them there.

  • boyscout

    WOW

  • WTS/JAY

    Want idiocy, Mr. Livingston? I got you beat!

    It’s an Obama world. The gay flag flew over a U.S. military base in Afghanistan this week. A moment of solidarity.

    But the Obama Administration banned the Christian cross from the worship tent. It was too offensive.

    The Pentagon forced an Army post in Afghanistan to remove a cross on its worship tent in December. It was offensive to liberal atheists…

    http://www.thegatewaypundit.com/2012/03/its-an-obama-world-gay-flag-flies-at-afghan-base-but-the-christian-cross-is-banned/

    • TheOriginalDaveH

      How can a cross be offensive to somebody who doesn’t believe there is a God? Something fishy there.

      • WTS/JAY

        Ah, good question! And a very logical one, to boot! By definition, an Atheist is fully convinced that there is no God; and that, due to lack of evidence. So, for an Atheist, the matter is closed. Further, a true Atheist, cares not what others believe, just as long as, that, which others believe, is not forced upon the Atheist. So then, what is, as you say, the “fishy-factor”? Well, imo, i suspect that the one’s who complained about the cross being offensive, and demanded that it be taken down, are in essence not Atheists, but something else entirely. Who are they? And who do they represent and believe in, who just happens to be the arch-enemy of Christianity and God…? You got it!

  • Ibn Insha

    I am speechless.

  • 57girl

    We had better be fighting for America while we still can. I talk to people in the streets who are so distraught by what they hear, they no longer listen to the news, or pay attention to the antics our Government is pulling. We are going to lose our country if we don’t pay attention and take our Nation back. We’d better be doing something PDQ, too. We are losing our National Sovereignty. Just look around … step by step, and law by law, it is fading fast.

    • Vis Fac

      We had best start with our public school system DO NOT re elect any school board member DEMAND accountability and an end to Political Correctness. Also Demand they start teaching government again as well as basic curriculum that was in place prior to 1970

      • elda

        Our kids are no longer ours. We give birth to them and the government takes them to train them to be followers. We only get to keep them if we play their game. I know because I have adopted kids that really should have been able to stay with parents but they would not play the game. Trick is to teach your kids to protect their information.

        • Vis Fac

          Kids are taught how to report child abuse at school all it takes is a mere mention and CPS is on your doorstep. You are immediately guilty and have to PROOVE you are not an abuser often at great expense and then you are at the mercy of some brainless liberal “public servant” to get your kids back.
          When I was in school we were taught responsibility honesty and toed the line if we stepped out of line it was to the dean’s office for swats (girls too). Today kids are taught to use and trust “the system” which falls in line with liberal one dimensional idiot-ology. If they hear it loud and often enough it gets programmed and nothing short of a miracle can undo the damage. It’s best to try and rework the schools at least get INVOLVED with what your child is being taught.

          • ChiefBoring

            PTA. Join, listen, learn, participate. VOTE!

          • Vis Fac

            BTDT all my Kids are grown grandkids are in private schools

          • ChiefBoring

            I hope their parents keep an eye on even private schools. I’m well past the PTA days myself, at 75!

      • TheOriginalDaveH

        How can you demand accountability from them if they know they aren’t going to get re-elected?

        • Vis Fac

          Because after we have term limits in place we will also have the the right to demand accountability or kick them out for malfeasance or ineptness. If one truly want’s to serve then accountabilty shouldn’t be an issue!

          • ChiefBoring

            Semper FI, Marine. See note above re term limits.

          • Vis Fac

            Agreed Semper-Fi

          • TheOriginalDaveH

            I believe that term limits are the conservative’s form of Hoping and Dreaming, because they not only provide no incentive for the incumbent to behave, but there is no guarantee whatsoever that the next candidate will be any better.
            There is only one real hope, and that is to work hard at the educational level for Educational Choice, so that the Government can’t brainwash our children, and to work hard at educating those people around us to the Principles of Freedom.
            This board is a big start.

          • Vis Fac

            As opposed to Liberal’s form rewarding of glut, ineptitude, and incompetence? This is the mantra of liberal indoctrination camps we call the public school system who needs big government for funding. Using your same logic who’s to say any candidate for school board will be any different? Unfortunately our society has become apathetic and cannot be bothered with issues that don’t effect their incomes or recreation activities. Going with the flow and re-electing incumbents is far easier than doing minor research it certainly takes less time. What is needed is a total shake up, a rework of the educational system I am not qualified to do so but certainly someone would. I think UNPAID positions without benefits would be a good start. When I was in school the system wasn’t broke yet someone thought it needed fixing. We have city council’s running our cities why not have principals’ responsible for their school? Schools are to be allotted certain amount of funds held in escrow to use as necessary.

          • TheOriginalDaveH

            Educational choice is the simple solution, Recon.
            Nothing talks like money. We need to get as much out of the hands of coercive Government as we can, and let people choose their own poisons as long as they don’t trespass on the bodies and property of others.

          • Vis Fac

            When you have the liberal left in control of the schools AND control of the administration you have a difficult time wresting money out of their hands. I think a voucher program for magnate schools might be the answer buy=t too many liberals spoil any plans for reform.

        • ChiefBoring

          I suspect he means the ones now in office. The accountable ones would then be re elected. That is a problem with term limits. We need to be able to keep the good ones in any office. Until FDR we had the others on good behaviour and the precedent set by Washington, who could eaasily have been re elected for life if he had wanted to do so.

          • TheOriginalDaveH

            Chief,
            Actually the struggle for Freedom, as I’m sure you can imagine, was a constant one throughout our History. Even after the revolution, there were breaches such as John Adam’s Alien and Sedition Acts of 1798.
            http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alien_and_Sedition_Acts

            The Constitution itself was a compromise between the Federalists who wanted a Central Government, and the anti-Federalists who didn’t.
            Read this non-court-historian’s account of the revolution as it really was, not what the Government wants you to believe:
            http://mises.org/books/conceived4.pdf
            And this book develops the machinations of one of our most insidious Founders who would have set us on the course to non-Freedom even before the first major action in that direction was taken by Abraham Lincoln:
            https://mises.org/store/Hamiltons-Curse-P534.aspx

          • ChiefBoring

            All true.

  • Sondra

    “Governments are instituted among Men,—that whenever any form of government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the right of the people to alter it or to abolish it, and to institute new government”– from the Declaration of Independence. Now is the time.

  • elda

    All these people we have elected to go to DC to represent us have WAY TO MUCH TIME on their hands. I think for every law they enact they must get rid of 4. I also think they should give up their homes around the DC area and work only from their home state and only meet in DC in the case of something like a war.

  • Jake Thomas

    And we’re still a free society??????????????

  • equestrian_colt

    I’d tell them to mind their own Fing business take their laws and
    control and shove it up their ass. I would continue to do as I please.
    The war would start soon as they came at me with force. Bullet to their
    stupid idiotic heads.

  • equestrian_colt

    They say you can’t fix stupid, sure you can a bullet fixes it quite nicely.