The Hamburger Of Hypocrisy

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Call it “televised serendipity”:  A moment in which two members of the Democrat Party leadership get together and reveal the political deformities which have turned the “big tent” into a circus sideshow. Under normal circumstances — a President Barack Obama press conference, for example — the groveling sycophants in the corporate media allow these boors to babble on without interruption.

While Americans with IQs above the intellectual Mendoza line simply tune out, most liberals remain enraptured, downloading the latest talking points, feverishly anticipating their next opportunity to regurgitate the drivel with the kind of self-importance otherwise reserved for sociopaths and trial lawyers. On occasion, however, more than one of the liberal ruling elite top-rung types end up sharing the same patch of real estate — and then we have to watch as they fog up our screens with unbridled expressions of love for each other — and scorn for the rest of us.

One of those serendipitous moments presented itself late last week, when fleshy filmmaker Michael Moore visited the set of liberal rat-terrier Bill Maher’s Real Time. While both are fairly high-ranking members of the DNC elite, neither is apparently aware that the zaftig Moore makes Rosie O’Donnell look like the “after” picture in a Weight Watchers commercial while Maher is only slightly funnier than an 8-car pileup on the expressway.

Such lack of awareness might explain how these two stooges could have a conversation in which Moore opined:

“…people like Gingrich and Palin? You know, because they’re essentially our mullahs, you know, our Taliban. Hey, how about that McDonald’s two blocks from Ground Zero, Bill?  That’s killed more people than the 19 hijackers…”

Evidently, I missed the nationwide APB for the Hamburglar on Sept. 12.

That’s right, kids — the mammoth movie maker says that Speaker Gingrich, Governor Palin and Egg McMuffins are more sinister than Islamofascism. Perhaps he simply prefers the Whopper to the Big Mac. But the idea that Moore would heave his Brobdingnagian bulk into frame and equate Mayor McCheese with militant Muslims has to be a new low-water mark for the liberal ruling class.

Maher and his carefully screened audience reacted with that smarmy snicker that the Democrats apparently teach in wingnut school. No one noted that the elephantine Moore, who helmed the camera for some of the most deservedly discredited “documentaries” since Leni Riefenstahl was making 8mm loops of Hitler doing the goose step shuffle, might be stretching his minimal credibility farther than the weakening waistband on his jockey shorts.

The good news for those of us with cerebral cortices larger than garlic knots: in addition to being shortchanged in the intellect and talent departments, the liberal ruling elite possess the subtlety of the cast of an MTV reality show. Moore and Maher’s get together was filmed in front of a live studio audience and broadcast to every household which subscribes to HBO.

For those of you who lament the lack of political acumen displayed by America’s peach fuzz generation, millions of viewers, er… thousands, um… hundreds, ah… dozens, ok… more kids saw the gargantuan gasbag Moore compare Newt Gingrich, Sarah Palin and their beloved Ronald McDonald unfavorably with the Taliban than have ever sat through more than a few moments of Chris Matthews nightly tingle-time. They also observed Maher, the junior varsity Jon Stewart, laugh along with the oleaginous auteur without noting that to date, no Fry Guy has ever taken so much as a single flying lesson, much less tried to carry a box cutter onto a commercial jet.

These are the people who have taken over the Democrat Party. These are the people who launch invective at Limbaugh, Beck and Hannity. These are the people who call us racists for opposing — or even daring to question — the Obama agenda. These are the people who opened verbal fire on Christine O’Donnell (who once graced Maher with her presence) mere hours after her ground-shaking victory in Delaware. These are the people who would demand you execrate Sarah Palin while exalting Nancy Pelosi.

At a time when the Democrat party has plunged the country into economic ennui, flatlined our foreign relations and rendered our immigration protections inert, they offer us clowns like Moore and Maher, the haphazard and humorless Laurel and Hardy.

Moore and Maher are members of the liberal leadership so we can divine that this is the direction in which the left is leaning these days. But fret not, my friends, more and more Americans are paying attention.

Forgive me for saying so, but come November:

Ba-da-ba-ba-baaa, I’m lovin’ it.

Personal Liberty

Ben Crystal

is a 1993 graduate of Davidson College and has burned the better part of the last two decades getting over the damage done by modern-day higher education. He now lives in Savannah, Ga., where he has hosted an award-winning radio talk show and been featured as a political analyst for television. Currently a principal at Saltymoss Productions—a media company specializing in concept television and campaign production, speechwriting and media strategy—Ben has written numerous articles on the subjects of municipal authoritarianism, the economic fallacy of sin taxes and analyses of congressional abuses of power.

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