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The Fast And The Spurious VII: The (Hopefully) Final Chapter

May 8, 2012 by  

The Fast And The Spurious VII: The (Hopefully) Final Chapter
The Attorney General, with the unwavering support of the President, has lied repeatedly about what and when he knew regarding OFF.

Under normal circumstances, it is hard to imagine anyone deriving any benefit from the President of the United States fumbling the political ball and then kicking it around the proverbial field.

However, since America has not witnessed a 10-thumbed President since Jimmy Carter lost the Battle of the Chattahoochee Bunny, it’s hard to imagine anyone finding himself in a position to celebrate such inimitable ineptitude. In fact, not even the Bumpkin from Plains unleashed an Attorney General so devoid of decency that he could squeeze a smile from a failed operation which led directly to the murders of two Federal agents and hundreds of Mexican nationals.

Unfortunately for America—not to mention the aforementioned Federal agents and hundreds of Mexican nationals—the Obama Administration has been anything but normal; and Attorney General Eric Holder could probably crack a grin in an abattoir.

While Obama has demonstrated increasingly panicked Presidential acumen in the wake of his deservedly declining popularity, Holder appears to be enjoying the anonymity afforded to him by a President whose failures are front page news. And anonymity—even accidental—is precisely what Holder needs now.

The details regarding the Department of Justice-designed “gunwalking” program Operation Fast and Furious are a matter of public record. Border Agent Brian Terry and Immigration officer Jaime Zapata are dead, the number of Mexicans killed by DoJ-armed narcoterrorists may never be known. Holder has repeatedly flouted Congressional inquiries into his involvement; even to the point of employing his boss’s favorite defense against criticism: the race card. “This is a way to get at the president because of the way I can be identified with him…both due to the nature of our relationship and, you know, the fact that we’re both African-American.” The Attorney General, with the unwavering support of the President, has lied repeatedly regarding what and when he knew about OFF.

With the corporate media avoiding more than a passing mention of OFF and its attendant body count, it’s no wonder Holder finds time for such worthy pursuits as delivering Obama’s endorsement to Al Sharpton’s hate group. Unfortunately for Holder, his race-based wild ride may soon reach its ignominious end. While Obama’s idiotic antics have dominated the headlines, Representative Darrell Issa (R-Calif.) has pressed on in an effort to press Holder for straight answers. And now, Issa and his compatriots are considering citing Holder for Contempt of Congress for his shocking refusal to cooperate with the investigation into OFF and its fallout.

Among the items listed in a draft of the Contempt citation: Holder’s failure to acknowledge less than half the material subpoenaed by Issa, Holder’s repeated denials that his closest aides were well aware of OFF—despite Issa’s uncovering of DoJ documents and emails proving otherwise—and Holder’s attempts to cover up the situation by alternately trying to tie it to the vastly-different Bush-era Operation Wide Receiver and/or shamefully deploying the clearly maxed-out race card.

I often face questions about what some consider a borderline obsession with Holder and Operation Fast and Furious. I respond thusly: The chief law enforcement officer of the United States of America is clearly attempting to obfuscate his involvement in a remarkably ill-conceived and implemented DoJ program which produced no results beyond a body count. Combined with the three stooges-esque bumbling by his boss and their accomplices, chaos is raging from Sanford, Fla., to Arizona and back. And I’m not describing the usual chaos which accompanies proactive efforts by Democrats to hide their complicity in whatever disgrace they’ve visited upon the Nation. I’m talking “Detroit the night after the Pistons win the title” chaos.

What I find almost as galling as Holder—and by extension, Obama—stubbornly refusing to even acknowledge the crimes associated with OFF is the pure arrogance inherent in continuing Obama’s own belief that the Constitutionally-mandated separation of powers is more of a guideline than an actual rule.

On a positive note: I’m clearly not the only one who has noticed the self-consuming self-importance which has overtaken the Democratic Party. Despite the spectacular campaign of hype and hypocrisy which has been conducted in defense of Obama and Holder, the President’s polling numbers now show him trailing the hardly-conservative Mitt Romney. I’m not convinced that terminating Eric Holder at this late hour will be enough to save Obama’s fading hopes. But it might save lives.

–Ben Crystal

Ben Crystal

is a 1993 graduate of Davidson College and has burned the better part of the last two decades getting over the damage done by modern-day higher education. He now lives in Savannah, Ga., where he has hosted an award-winning radio talk show and been featured as a political analyst for television. Currently a principal at Saltymoss Productions—a media company specializing in concept television and campaign production, speechwriting and media strategy—Ben has written numerous articles on the subjects of municipal authoritarianism, the economic fallacy of sin taxes and analyses of congressional abuses of power.

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  • DaveH

    Shorten Eric’s mustache 1 inch on each side and he’d be a dead ringer.
    It’s time to knock this would-be Schutzstaffel out of office:

    • Sirian

      You’re right, good point DaveH. But ya know, give him a bit more facial weight and thicken up his mustachio a bit and you’d have a pretty good Stalin double too. :)

      • Warrior

        I see eric’s new role as checking underwear alongside his unionized tsa gestapo agent buddy’s for those “dreaded” poop bombs. Some think “chicken little”, some think “chicken sh$t”!

      • Brad

        You guys may have something there, I think if you take Stalin ans Hitler , moosch them all together and you would probaly get Holder. Then take away these pescky little mustaches and poof out comes Odrama.

      • Sirian

        OK you two, that does it . . . LOL!!! Stop, stop. . . LOL!!! :)

      • Tom W.

        “I have found some of the best reasons I ever had for remaining at the bottom simply by looking at the men at the top.”
        by Frank Moore Colby

    • Jay

      ROFLMAO!!! Good one Dave!!!!

    • old hillbilly

      Holder is the most dangerous person in the USA. He is the key to perverting US justice. Indict, prosecute, & jail him. The DOJ is the key to resurrecting freedom & Constitution – he hates and despises both!

  • Vigilant

    Oh how the Dems howled John Mitchell right into prison for the Watergate coverup,and forced a president to resign!

    And now….not a peep from the polished parlors of the pink professors. Now hundreds dead and the smoking gun is concealed by the AG.

    • By George

      The smoking gun is not concealed by the AG. It’s held by him!

  • Vigilant

    Patriotism is NOT the last refuge of a scoundrel, the race card is, first and last.

  • cawmun cents

    What I find hilarious is that they will always drop the B bomb and blame the previous Administration.
    Atlantis sunk into the ocean……drop the B bomb.
    Socialism sucks so we have to make it look like someone else’s fault… guessed it,drop the B bomb.
    Guy has spent four years doing campaign speeches and is the biggast media prostitute in the history of mankind.It’s Bush’s fault….he made us that way.
    We made Jimmy Carter look decent.It’s Bush’s fault…..drop the B bomb.
    Why should we take responsibility for anything when all we have to do is blame somebody else……I know!…..let’s drop a B bomb!
    The media will cover it up for us nicely by showing us drop the B bomb,and then everyone will think its Bush’s fault.
    Isnt it so convieniently obvious to point the finger of blame elsewhere?Songs will be wrote about how many times we dropped the B bomb.I havent seen a montauge about it yet but if I had enough time to do it I’d make a Bush blaming one fursure!
    But between scandal and the need to defend socialism…..I just dont have enough time.
    Not having enough time is another reason to drop the B bomb.
    So now we can blame the legitimate businessman.
    Gubment good.
    Businessman bad.
    Union good.
    Businessman bad.
    Media/academia good.
    Businessman bad.
    Marxist professor good.
    Businessman bad.
    Stealing OP’s money by writing laws which entitle us(gubment lawyers)to do so,good.
    Making profit by hard work and dedication(business),bad.
    Regulating decent folks into obscurity by drafting worthless laws into effect which do nothing but stifle their ability to do business and function in a normal environment,good.
    Employing others that actually perform a function by contributing to the wealth of society,bad.
    Socialism good.
    Capitalism bad.
    Hmmmm…..I bet we can blame that on somebody else as well……you guessed it.
    Start droppin’

    • Sirian

      cc you best watch it, jopa is gonna jump you for stealing his B-Bombs. :)

      • Average Joe


        That’s not an issue for Jopa…he has a whole sack of R-bombs (race card) to throw out when he can’t use the B-bomb.

        From the article: “This is a way to get at the president because of the way I can be identified with him…both due to the nature of our relationship and, you know, the fact that we’re both African-American.”

        By calling himself and BO, “African-American”, is Holder admitting that he and BO are in fact…people with dual citizenship…ie….(Kenyan)-American? The last time I checked, if you are born in America…you are an American…period. So, now Holder has admitted to what we’ve all suspected…….That BO isn’t a “REAL” american citizen after all. But “African”-American…..

      • Sirian

        You’re right as right can be about jopa. . . negligible “arms dealer”. BO? Ha, there’s so much evidence out there that really places him so far out of bounds I’m not really surprised with what cover Holder will run for him. Holder would make a good scape-goat for BO, unless he’s OFF target a bit.

    • Robert Smith

      “Making profit by hard work and dedication(business),bad.”

      Absolutely FALSE.

      Making money by looting the economy with paper instruments while returning nothing, BAD.


      • Paul B.

        Yes that was bad… but you can’t blame the capitalist free-market system for that which is exactly what the left is doing. shut down business because it can lead to this. that’s like saying everyone who smokes pot will eventually evolve to smoking crack and shooting heroin. the connection is NOT there.

        The problem with mortgage backed securities and their proliferation was the government’s fault by forcing banks to write the bad paper in the first place through government regulations beginning with Carter and the CRA.

        You FORCE banks to accept Government backed mortgages, they will do what they have to to cover their anticipated and mostly expected looming losses as these mortgages start failing. Government looked the other way as Fannie and Freddie orchestrated the whole deal, Goldman-Sachs, lacking any oversight by the SEC and other financial regulatory authorities allowed these criminals to do what they did and spread the risk out as wide as they could.

        Wall Street funding DC with contributions, so DC looked the other way. They knew what was happening and despite the right’s consistent warnings, pressed forward.

        It wasn’t the Free-Market that created this mess. It was government pressure and then subsequent lack of oversight of the problem they created. Kind of like OFF, bad idea from the start, but the up side for the left was a demand for MORE DC control… exactly what they wanted. Intentionally create a crisis, then ride in to the rescue with more regulation.

        Bad idea giving the creator of the problems more power to create even greater problems.

      • Brad

        You are 100% correct Paul B. I concour

      • vicki

        Careful there Paul. Liberals and facts are like Vampires and garlic. (Or sunlight :) )

  • sabulaman

    Our forefathers would have strung-up the whole bunch by now. Issa needs to stay on him like a good hound dog. I’ll bet OFF originated closer to the home (white house) than we will ever know. Keep up the good work. Thanks.

    • Brad

      yep we should have a hearing called Jack OFF Gate.

      • Sirian

        Is that the pc way of saying a Mongolian cluster . . . ? Just wondering :)

      • Average Joe

        “Is that the pc way of saying a Mongolian cluster . . . ? ”

        In the case of Holder and BO…I believe the word is…Mongoloid… cluster……(as in mongoloid idiots).
        Just sayin’


    Maybe the reason to give guns to the people south of the border is so they can kill each other off. So when the citizens of Mexico stand up and say that we have had enough, the American Govt can walk in and offer an alternative life style. Just sign here and you can all become Americans, just like the people that we already let live here and recieve free social services. And the move toward a North American union and a one world govt marches on!!

  • Brad

    Was Odrama not just having a meeting with Canada and Mexico?


    Holder and Obama are both guilty for fast and furious AND they caused two lives lost.We need more guns shipped to Mexico,so that they can return with all the illegals crossing our unsecure borders.This pair are two of the most useless human beings in our country,we need to kick Obama and his Socialist crew out.

    • Robert Smith

      “AND they caused two lives lost”

      That might be a fictional construct. Where are the cries for “due process” like were screamed for Zimmerman?

      BTW, there was due process and Scooter Libby was convicted of leaking information that got several killed in our intelligence community. Bush let him off the hook. THAT is a reality, not a party construct to distract from real issues.



        Zapata and Terry are not fiction,this is reality

      • Brad

        Rob you are so confused and ate up with the fight of right and left, what about pissed off Americans that are just plain sick and tired of being sick and tired of all of the trash in DC??? You are an idiot (Commie Socialist Bastard), a CSB nut case!

    • Doug

      You know Robert you are a freaking idiot! If there is nothing to hide then why is Obammy’s boy hiding everything possible. This goes all the way up to the emply suit running this country. One can only hope idiots like you get to meet one of the illegal aliens that they let in and hopefully armed with one of the 1000 of guns these idiots sent to Mexico. And will let you do like Brian and let you shoot bean bags at him instead of bullets!

  • MAP

    Study these two sets:

    Case One, the three stooges: Obama, Pelosi, Reid
    Case Two, the three stooges: Obama, Holder, Hillary

    What stooge is common to both cases?

  • Raggs

    If NAZI Eric holder is ever held accountable ( never happen ) his bro oblama will just shuffle holder to another government position…

    • 45caliber


      Actually, I’ve expected Oblama to give Holder the CEO position (or whatever it is called ) at Freddie Mac and Fannie May. That way he can collect those millions of dollars in salary each year. It’s time to give another lib a chance at that feed trough.

  • Bob

    Ive been saying for over 3 years,that oreo is a F—–G IDIOT,and holder is just as bad,November cant come fast enough for me………….

  • dcjdvis

    So sick of the race card. It’s no more than a cheat card and should be illegal; but then, illegal isn’t even illegal these days.

  • OOOOPPert EEEEpert

    As horrible as OFF is, can someone explain to me how Holder was not impeached for not only not defending DOMA in court, but using one of his attorneys to argue the case of the lesbian suing the government, thereby forcing Boehner to hire an outside attorney, at taxpayer expense, to defend the law of the land ??????? To add insult to injury, the lesbians won the case!!! ONLY IN AMERICA in 2012

    • Ted G

      Just go back and re-read the US Constitution and the BOR, all your answers are there.

      • OOOOPPert EEEEpert

        I can’t tell if you are being sarcastic or not regarding the DOMA issue I brought up…LOL!! I’m far, far from an expert on this, but isn’t the DOJ supposed to enforce the laws & not try to change them, interpret them, etc.. & it seems to me aiding in the suing the government is not part of their job description

      • Ted G

        I’m not surprised the lesbian won in court. Look everyone is argueing this on the wrong premise. Marriage is just a word, however we as a society have decided to give those that enter into a leagle marriage certain rights and privileges by law. Take away those rights and priviledges and what is left is nothing more than a contract between two parties that promise to love honor and obey etc. Thats a very personal contract that has absolutely nothing to do with anyone else, including government at any level. Its the inclusion of those rights and priveledges that is the problem (Constitutionally speaking).

        This is about equality under the law. DOMA is a push to deny rights to only a certain group of people based on a religious/ideological belief. That is Unconstitutional. It’s really pretty simple.

        Now two homosexuals could actually write up a contract that covers most of those rights and priveledges. It would not be called a marriage contract because it would not be. But it would be valid under the law nevertheless. Only it may not allow one to automatically visit ones partner in a hospital unless they were carrying their legal contract with therm at the time. But I’m not sure that would suffice anyway in that particular case. So you see maybe where there can be problems for judges when deciding these things purely on a Constitutional basis.

        You, I or anyone else are not obligated to follow an un-Constitutional law. Hence we have two oppsing sides to this issue. The one (religious and ideological) pushing to impose restrictions against equal treatment under the law. They are going to loose.

        So though I am a straight man, I have to acknowledge the technical aspects of the Gay and lesbian side, because technically they are right even if they don’t argue the point properly.

        Take away any special privileges and rights accorded to the Secular contract of marriage and I would then say the gays and lesbians have no argument.

        Amongst the many other things it does, the US Constitution is designed to protect the minority from the tyranny of the majority. In other words 51 senators cannot make laws that restrict my inalienable rights including equality under the law for all. And that I think is a pretty simple thing to understand as well. Why do most people/politicians not undertsand it…? You got me, at least some off the judges in this nation do seem to understand.

        I hope I have articulated my thoughts properly.

        Best Regards
        Ted G

  • chuckb

    robert smith saYS::

    “BTW, there was due process and Scooter Libby was convicted of leaking information that got several killed in our intelligence community. Bush let him off the hook. THAT is a
    reality, not a party construct to distract from real issues”

    scooter libby got railroaded by an inept special prosecutor, “fitzgerasld”, richard armitage admitted disclosing valerie flame to columnist robert novak, who at the time was not working undercover.

    this is your liberal establishment and the media crucifying a man for political reasons..and please tell me who got killed by libby, bush showed how he backed his people (way back) anything to pacify the liberals.
    so how does this parallel the zimmerman case, who shot a thug in self defense?

    holder and barry are defying the congress and we have a weak kneed republican committee, if the tables were turned around a liberal congress would have a republican president and att. general under indictment.

    • 45caliber

      But that was a CHILD that Zimmerman shot! Just take a look at all those pictures of him! He was only ten years old. (Or is it eight eyars old?) How can an adult man kill a small boy like that? After all, if he was REALLY 17 as the papers say, they would show a picture of him as 17, wouldn’t they? Wouldn’t they?

      • Raggs

        If Zimmerman had been a cracker the media would have photo-shopped a nazi emblem on his forehead.

  • Power To The People

    Holder lied to Congress. Why is it takng so long to charge him with this and throw his sorry ass out of office? Obummer knew about the whole deal and he lied about it too. November 2 can’t get here soon enough for me either.

    • 45caliber

      But his lie isn’t nearly as bad or important as Roger Clemens lie was! We have to do something about Clemens first, right?

  • Nancy in Nebraska

    OK, I admit it! I had to look up the meaning of “abattoir”. LOL! Where did he come up with that?

    • Sirian

      Uh. . . Dictionary? Just kiddin‘ Nancy, just kiddin’

  • 2WarAbnVet

    This is how Washington works: Any attempt to investigate Holder will drag on until the election this fall; then after the election – regardless of the outcome – it will be quietly dropped.

    • MAP

      You expect our elected officials to do some work? Poor fellas! Why, they are much too busy selling votes, taking bribes and counting their money to find time to do much else.

  • chuckb

    this is the way republicans prosecute the law, and you are exactly right “2warvet”
    all they have to do is drag their feet before a very weak republican committee until the election and they are home free.

  • Raggs

    If Issa pushes this issue very far oblama and holder will come up with a distraction another false flag event for the sheeple.

  • Wyatt

    Interesting article , many good points expressed both in article and those responding . I have never been a fan of the Democratic party in any way shape or form . Especially since the 1st true Democrat , Andrew Jackson , turned tyrant and imposed his will on Thousands of Native American People to steal their lands . Then the party practice’s of the 19th Century to wipe us completely off of the face of America through assimilation .

    Not since those days has one President show such arrogance in ignoring the actions of his DOJ by protecting him from direct investigation from Congress who’s job it is to investigate matter such as OFF . That wrong doing has been done is more than obvious and the token firing and resignations of a few lower level officials involved is a sham . The more Holder drags his feet the more evidence is lost and or covered up making it even more difficult to find wrong doing and who the wrong doer or wrong doers are .

    As the head of this operation truly is , well its not Eric Holder , he is only the lapdog charged with running it . Actually Holder isn’t bright enough to come up with a plan of this magnitude and carry it out . A look at his history as a lawyer will tell you that . However being Barry Obama’s butt boy does have a perk I suppose and that is to be DOJ . I have to suspect that like his boss , Holder is also a Communist working to set in place Obama’s Communist Dream !

  • Bud. USMC

    It is a disgrace what Holder tried to do with fast and furious may have been Obama plan but i doubt it Obama is t trying to hard to get a second term, but there is no doubt he is protecting Holder. The congress is also trying to stay in office so they are not pushing to hard. The hold deal was another step in trying to get rid of the second amendment of our constitution if we let them take our guns away. We are very lucky 2 agents we honest enough blow the thing apart. I personal think we should sent them to the border and let them face the weapons and those who bought them so we could see how fast they can run if we lose our guns we lose our FREEDOM. Vote them all out until we the ones that will do the will of the people.

  • AJ

    Holder needs to rot in jail playing all his card games.

    • don

      i think the uwa should see that obunhole is impeached before the election and holder promtly fired from heis job. nwxt mexico should send a summons to court for them to be tried as accessoories to murder of innocent mexican citizens . throw the two incompetant losers in prison as punishment. i’d almost bet almost gun owners would agree with me. these crooks would deserve it.

  • Dad

    It is not just this crime… consider all of the atrocities that are being committed by this administration and the Democrats. We don’t want to convict too early… would hate a hasty pardon on the way out of office.
    Wouldn’t it be ironic if it eventually took Seal Team 6 to go after these criminals?

  • Uninterested

    Who is Ben Crystal? Cheif mouthpiece (no matter that only idiots care what he has to say) of the GOP. Oh!!, what he does with that mouth? Not speak, his opinions speak volumes about nothing but innuendo.

  • http://AOL Tom

    Holder is a criminal, a crime boss. What he has done should require immediate action, but the elephants are terrified of this little mouse.
    What kind of country do we live in when political jerks can commit crimes and go scot free. He is guilty of depraived indifference in the least with the body counts that are growing. .

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