The Costs Of Global Warming

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Here at Personal Liberty, we make fun of the pseudoscience carnival ride that is so-called “global warming” on a fairly regular basis. Like my colleagues here and throughout the rest of the non-lapdog media, I enjoy a good laugh at the expense of the biggest cult in operation as much as the next guy.

After all, what’s not funny about a theory that needs a boost to see over trephining, phrenology and the belief that the moon is made of green cheese? In a purely rhetorical sense, global warming is bloody hilarious. If anyone else can come up with a theory that has required no fewer than four name changes since its invention just to keep up with actual weather patterns and yet remains a significant driving force in geopolitics, I’d sure get a kick out of hearing it.

The real cost of global warming goes well beyond the usual annoyances — such as giving liberals another reason to talk with their eyes closed at their wine-and-cheese parties, whine about SUV emissions while their private jet cruises at 33,000 feet and bark at Middle America from the red carpet at the Oscars while wearing enough jewelry to send an average family’s kids to college.

Global warming costs us all billions of dollars annually. Global warming jacks up your utility prices, thanks to the regulatory and tax burdens placed on the energy industry. Ask anyone with so much as a peripheral connection to the coal industry how much fun global warmists can be. Global warming skims a layer of cash off the top of the taxpayers’ till through treaty obligations and Federal study programs. According to a recent report submitted to the United Nations by our State Department, the United States has spent upward of $7 billion on global warming studies in other countries in the past three years. And global warming pollutes the airwaves and consumes bandwidth with every “news” report on the plight of the endangered arctic spiny snail darter (or whatever).

Sometimes, global warming exacts a real human cost beyond even forcing the rest of us to endure the continued celebrity of people like Al Gore. Last week, the world sat transfixed by the plight of the Russian ship Akademik Shokalskiy. It seems the good ship, loaded with a full complement of wide-eyed global warmists, found itself in a bit of a frozen pickle. While retracing the 1912 voyage of Sir Douglas Mawson, the Akademik Shokalskiy got stuck in pack ice not far from the coast of Antarctica. Lest you think the irony of global warmists trapped in ice they’d been told didn’t exist isn’t enough of a howler, consider the following image:

tundra0106

That’s a photograph of Commonwealth Bay, Antarctica. It was taken in 1912, decades before even global warming’s previous incarnation “global cooling” had been invented. In fact, it was taken almost 112 years to the day before the Akademik Shokalskiy sailed into the exact same harbor. You’ll notice the January 1912 edition of Commonwealth Bay is relatively ice-free. Fast-forward a little more than a century and not only is the harbor icier than whatever flows through Hillary Clinton’s veins, but the whole continent’s ice has increased to its highest level in 35 years.

One might think even someone on a boat full of global warmists might have bothered to at least check the actual weather forecast. As the cast and crew of the Akademik Shokalskiy discovered the hard way, global warmist icons like Gore make the perky morning weather gal on a small-market community public access channel look like the Oracle at Delphi. And yet, there they were, desperately awaiting rescue from one ice-bound ship after another. The whole saga took a few days to unfold, as ship after ship ran into the same subzero conditions.

Closer to home, the San Francisco 49ers beat the Green Bay Packers in an NFL playoff game that made even the legendary quote about “the frozen tundra of Lambeau Field” seem like an understatement, against the backdrop of a winter storm that delivered subzero temperatures in record numbers to a wide swath of the North American continent. If this global warming keeps up, we might all freeze to death.

–Ben Crystal

Ben Crystal

is a 1993 graduate of Davidson College and has burned the better part of the last two decades getting over the damage done by modern-day higher education. He now lives in Savannah, Ga., where he has hosted an award-winning radio talk show and been featured as a political analyst for television. Currently a principal at Saltymoss Productions—a media company specializing in concept television and campaign production, speechwriting and media strategy—Ben has written numerous articles on the subjects of municipal authoritarianism, the economic fallacy of sin taxes and analyses of congressional abuses of power.

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