The Comedy Of Terrors


By the time you read this, President Barack Obama will be close to taking to the teleprompter to tell the Nation and the world that war is actually pretty cool, if he hasn’t presented his pitch already. Outside the usual lapdogs and low-information types who make up the liberal base, I expect Obama to have as much luck selling his war in Syria as MSNBC has selling its prime-time lineup to pretty much everyone.

Today’s dog and jihadi show ought to be fairly entertaining. After all, the run-up has already been at least as fun as watching liberals figure out how to transform from Jane Fonda to Charlton Heston without spilling their soy lattes. In the few weeks since Obama sprouted war wings and decided to playact at being hawkish, the comedy has flown as fast as Hillary Clinton ducking imaginary sniper fire. Were it not for the fact that actual people are actually dying (something Democrats consider acceptable only when the victims are unborn babies or “white hispanics”), Obama’s pathetic fumbling might actually be funny.

Whose Red Line Is It, Anyway?

A year ago, Obama dared Syrian President Bashar Assad to deploy chemical weapons against his own people, saying such a move would constitute crossing a “red line.” Now that Assad has allegedly waltzed across it, Obama has been forced to admit it was more of a light pink. Or at least, he would have been forced to admit it, if he’d ever met a buck he couldn’t pass. Last week, Obama claimed the red line was drawn by the “world.” The world seemed mildly surprised — almost as surprised as the rest of us were when Obama also announced that the debate over war represents a referendum on the credibility of Congress. Fair enough, Mr. President. It’s not like you have any left.

Coalition Blues

Former President George W. Bush took a lot of heat for his supposed failure to build a coalition for war in Iraq. Compared to Obama’s success in assembling allies for his planned Syrian incursion, Bush is Dag Hammarskjöld. Our most redoubtable allies in the United Kingdom have already told Obama to pound proverbial sand. Now, the Germans have decided to sit this one out. According to the newspaper The Guardian, German intelligence indicates that Assad did not order any chemical weapons attack and that he has blocked subordinates from doing the same. As if that weren’t embarrassing enough, the current Administration line as espoused by Secretary of State John Kerry holds that we should be excited that the Saudi Arabians are kicking in. We traded the Brits and the Germans for the guys who lead the world in Wahhabists and 9/11 hijackers. Whoopee.

Who Are The Bad Guys?

That Assad is a bad guy is not in doubt. That our potential allies in the war against him constitute the good guys really is. While our suddenly hawkish Democratic pals turn up their noses at links between the Syrian rebels and al-Qaida, the Syrian rebels and al-Qaida look increasingly like the same people. The group that recently overran the Christian village of Maaloula, Syria, was led by members of Jabhat al-Nusra, which translates loosely from the original Arabic to “al-Qaida’s top farm club.” I wonder if they used the weapons Obama shipped them from Benghazi, Libya.

Excuse Us; Excuses

James Carville tried to explain away Obama’s diplomatic disgrace as somehow — of course — Bush’s fault. At what point do liberals realize that spending 5½ years blaming the guy who isn’t President is the equivalent of spending 5½ years admitting Obama is as good at playing President as Carville is at making sense. You know Obama is panicking when he sends out a spokesman who increasingly resembles an angry Chinese cocktail onion. Supposed comedian Bill Maher even played the race card, tweeting:

A half-white guy decides to play army against a bunch of Arabs, and the people who demur get called racist by a Jewish guy who hates women.

Obama warmed up for his big week of warmongering by playing golf again. Maybe this is all a Byzantine plot to get Obama ready for the Champions Tour — although, from what I’ve seen, he would be as good a professional golfer as he is a President.

–Ben Crystal

Ben Crystal

is a 1993 graduate of Davidson College and has burned the better part of the last two decades getting over the damage done by modern-day higher education. He now lives in Savannah, Ga., where he has hosted an award-winning radio talk show and been featured as a political analyst for television. Currently a principal at Saltymoss Productions—a media company specializing in concept television and campaign production, speechwriting and media strategy—Ben has written numerous articles on the subjects of municipal authoritarianism, the economic fallacy of sin taxes and analyses of congressional abuses of power.