The Comedy Of Terrors

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By the time you read this, President Barack Obama will be close to taking to the teleprompter to tell the Nation and the world that war is actually pretty cool, if he hasn’t presented his pitch already. Outside the usual lapdogs and low-information types who make up the liberal base, I expect Obama to have as much luck selling his war in Syria as MSNBC has selling its prime-time lineup to pretty much everyone.

Today’s dog and jihadi show ought to be fairly entertaining. After all, the run-up has already been at least as fun as watching liberals figure out how to transform from Jane Fonda to Charlton Heston without spilling their soy lattes. In the few weeks since Obama sprouted war wings and decided to playact at being hawkish, the comedy has flown as fast as Hillary Clinton ducking imaginary sniper fire. Were it not for the fact that actual people are actually dying (something Democrats consider acceptable only when the victims are unborn babies or “white hispanics”), Obama’s pathetic fumbling might actually be funny.

Whose Red Line Is It, Anyway?

A year ago, Obama dared Syrian President Bashar Assad to deploy chemical weapons against his own people, saying such a move would constitute crossing a “red line.” Now that Assad has allegedly waltzed across it, Obama has been forced to admit it was more of a light pink. Or at least, he would have been forced to admit it, if he’d ever met a buck he couldn’t pass. Last week, Obama claimed the red line was drawn by the “world.” The world seemed mildly surprised — almost as surprised as the rest of us were when Obama also announced that the debate over war represents a referendum on the credibility of Congress. Fair enough, Mr. President. It’s not like you have any left.

Coalition Blues

Former President George W. Bush took a lot of heat for his supposed failure to build a coalition for war in Iraq. Compared to Obama’s success in assembling allies for his planned Syrian incursion, Bush is Dag Hammarskjöld. Our most redoubtable allies in the United Kingdom have already told Obama to pound proverbial sand. Now, the Germans have decided to sit this one out. According to the newspaper The Guardian, German intelligence indicates that Assad did not order any chemical weapons attack and that he has blocked subordinates from doing the same. As if that weren’t embarrassing enough, the current Administration line as espoused by Secretary of State John Kerry holds that we should be excited that the Saudi Arabians are kicking in. We traded the Brits and the Germans for the guys who lead the world in Wahhabists and 9/11 hijackers. Whoopee.

Who Are The Bad Guys?

That Assad is a bad guy is not in doubt. That our potential allies in the war against him constitute the good guys really is. While our suddenly hawkish Democratic pals turn up their noses at links between the Syrian rebels and al-Qaida, the Syrian rebels and al-Qaida look increasingly like the same people. The group that recently overran the Christian village of Maaloula, Syria, was led by members of Jabhat al-Nusra, which translates loosely from the original Arabic to “al-Qaida’s top farm club.” I wonder if they used the weapons Obama shipped them from Benghazi, Libya.

Excuse Us; Excuses

James Carville tried to explain away Obama’s diplomatic disgrace as somehow — of course — Bush’s fault. At what point do liberals realize that spending 5½ years blaming the guy who isn’t President is the equivalent of spending 5½ years admitting Obama is as good at playing President as Carville is at making sense. You know Obama is panicking when he sends out a spokesman who increasingly resembles an angry Chinese cocktail onion. Supposed comedian Bill Maher even played the race card, tweeting:

A half-white guy decides to play army against a bunch of Arabs, and the people who demur get called racist by a Jewish guy who hates women.

Obama warmed up for his big week of warmongering by playing golf again. Maybe this is all a Byzantine plot to get Obama ready for the Champions Tour — although, from what I’ve seen, he would be as good a professional golfer as he is a President.

–Ben Crystal

Ben Crystal

is a 1993 graduate of Davidson College and has burned the better part of the last two decades getting over the damage done by modern-day higher education. He now lives in Savannah, Ga., where he has hosted an award-winning radio talk show and been featured as a political analyst for television. Currently a principal at Saltymoss Productions—a media company specializing in concept television and campaign production, speechwriting and media strategy—Ben has written numerous articles on the subjects of municipal authoritarianism, the economic fallacy of sin taxes and analyses of congressional abuses of power.

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  • peter

    Obama is a fraud and it is becoming increasingly clear that he is not very good at that either! Thinking that you are a good president does not make you one, just like thinking you can play golf like Jack Nicklaus does not make you a good golfer either. Obama, Kerry and Clinton ( yes – her ) are an embarrassment to the USA, and are the major reasons for being the laughing stock of the thinking international community. When Hillary ascends the throne the comedy is sure to come to a mouth watering finale. Hold on to your hats folks.

    • Warrior

      A “constitutional scholar” nonetheless! LMAO! And I’m here to bring you hopey, hope, hope.

    • http://batman-news.com 1940voter

      The trio of the blind,dumb, and deaf. A community organizer, turncoat, liar in chief, wow all winners. The no information voters ideal leaders for the outhouse occupant of the year.

  • smknnjoe

    Ben, thanks once again for your commentary that is right on the money with just a tad bit of acerbic humor to boot. We can only hope that we can survive the remainder of his term without an overwhelming amount of irreparable damage. Angry Chinese cocktail onion……ROTFLMAO!!!!!.

  • Warrior

    A good “chinese cocktail” is a “zombie”. Lots of “fruits”. Anyway, how’s the new “libary” plans coming along? I think something circular would fit the individual nicely.

  • bugchaser56

    I wish I knew where all the Americans have gone, at least the ones I knew when I was growing up. Apparently, there has been a huge invasion of body snatchers that took over all of the true blooded Americans, in this country, and replaced them with complacent sheep! Either that or the decades of dumbing down America’s kids has finally paid off! I am utterly lost for an explanation how We the People of These United States are just sitting back and allowing this tragic comedy to continue. Every day, it’s like what else can those in Washington due to destroy this country even further and nobody give a darn. One thing, Obama was intelligent enough to pick his V.P., because face it, Biden is a reason not to throw Obama out on his ear or, God forbid, that someone tries to take him out. I certainly want very much to see both of them tossed out on their ear and possibly face criminal charges of Treason against the United States, but I don’t want to see someone murdered. The other problem about throwing out Obama would be the major race riots that would blaze out across this country. Thing is, it isn’t about race that I want to see the man thrown out. Far from it, I have no problem with the person’s race, but I sure do have one about his, and the rest of those in power’s actions against this country. That, and the fact the man occupying the White House is probably not Constitutionally legitimate to be there and is obviously a closet, and maybe not so much a closet, muslim. As for the rest of the gang, they need to be tossed to, as they are aiding and abetting this man and their concern about the People is obviously lacking.

    • The Snarf

      Well, they have been at it since well before 1963, when the outline of the Progressives’ plans (the American Communist Party) finally came up for a hearing before Congress. Unfortunately, they have already succeeded with most of their points.

  • dan

    You can tell pResident Lucifer is a muslim because all he lives for is jihad
    …war and conquest by the brotherhood

    • Don 2

      You must admit Obama is consistent. He consistently supports the Muslim Brotherhood.

  • speedle24

    You are right on Ben. I am to the point now that I feel I have to wear a lapel button that says “I didn’t vote for Obama” if I am going to be around foreigners. Being American these days defaults to being stupid in the eyes of most of the world (if no other information is available). They are amazed at how we could have elected this incompetent moron in the first place, then after he proved his incompetence elected him again.

    Now I know how those Saint fans felt years ago when they felt they should wear paper sacks over their heads if they went to a game.

  • hank

    CLINTON AND BARRACK HUSSEIN COMMITTED TREASON IN BENGHAZI. THEY SHOULD NEVER AGAIN BE ABLE TO HOLD PUBLIC OFFICE IN AMERICA !!!

    • wandamurline

      Actually they should be up on charges of treason and sitting in GITMO.

  • Don 2

    Well, now that Putin has beaten Obama once again, this time over the Syrian gas issue, while also further kicking America and her influence out of the middle east and becoming the major power broker, shouldn’t Obama be turning over his Nobel Peace Prize to Putin?

  • Jeff

    Talk about a Chihuahua baying at the Moon. Ben calls Bill Maher a “supposed comedian.” Here’s a clue, Ben. You’re as close to Bill Maher’s level in comedy as I am to Rafa Nadal’s in tennis.

    • The Snarf

      The fact that Maher even has a show that is watched by anyone, let alone that a few people see anything ‘comical’ in the insane, sexist, hateful garbage he spews, is a really poor indictment on the state of mental health care in America.

      • Robert Messmer

        Henry Dice Clay.

    • Don 2

      Bill Mahar is a comedian? Gee, I thought he was just some sick old fart who couldn’t get laid, and spent his time picking on defenseless handicapped children and women. Has something changed?

      • Jeff

        Yes, it’s been a few years since Bob Hope was on Ed Sullivan and Bill Dana could make you rubes laugh just by saying “My name Jose Jimenez.”

        • speedle24

          “Rafa and Jose”? Who is talking about race in this discussion? Sounds like you have a …..er……man crush on Hispanics Jeff. Do Latinos give you a chill up your leg?

    • Karll

      Bill Mayer “stinks on ice” as a comedian and he ain’t much as a human being.

      • Jeff

        You are certainly entitled to your opinion, but Bill Maher plays to sold out audiences all over the country. Ben? Not so much. I think his mother once chuckled at something he said. Big mistake. Maybe he’d have done something useful with his life if he knew he had no talent.

  • Carlos

    Talk about comedy, what’s going on with this Syrian debacle is hilarious.What do you expect from people like Barry and his stooge Kerry. They couldn’t write a movie script better than this. Hillary is jealous, she quit too soon, damn that Benghazi thing. Look how presidential she would have looked, and she is a much more accomplished liar than either Barry or Kerry.

    Tonight, our fearless leader will get on his teleprompter written by his string pullers and convince the nation, he and could be dumber than he, have saved the world from wnds, the ones used by the tyrannical government of Syria.
    Will he mention Putin as the one who saved his ass, I doubt it.

  • Carlos

    Talk about comedy, what’s going on with this Syrian debacle is hilarious.What do you expect from people like Barry and his stooge Kerry. They couldn’t write a movie script better than this. Hillary is jealous, she quit too soon, damn that Benghazi thing. Look how presidential she would have looked, and she is a much more accomplished liar than either Barry or Kerry.

    Tonight, our fearless leader will get on his teleprompter written by his string pullers and convince the nation, he and could be dumber than he, have saved the world from wnds, the ones used by the tyrannical government of Syria.
    Will he mention Putin as the one who saved his ass, I doubt it.

  • rbrooks

    the same buffoons that supported little bush’s moronic two wars in the ME, now whine and cry when this moron wants to continue the bush war on terror.

    • independent thinker

      Shooting missiles at Assad is hardly continuing the war on terror. In fact shooting missiles at Assad is supporting the war on terror because every blow against Assad is a blow in favor of the muslim brotherhood/al-quida/taliban linked Syrian rebels.

      • rbrooks

        removing saddam was not any different.

        • Karll

          I agree that the second Iraq war was a mistake, however a lot of senior democraps were all for it….until they were against it. Now the same dems and LSM who had excoriated dubya over Iraq are silent when their messiah wants to start a even more pointless war in Syria. The hypocrisy of the left is galactic in size.

          • rbrooks

            the hypocrisy of the left is no different than the hypocrisy of the right.

            nothing has changed.

  • real talk 1

    The people feel about Syria the way Clinton about benghazi what difference does it make at this point!?

  • real talk 1

    When you really look at this whole situation in Syria they the people of that country are the ones not having compassion for the women or children, and the UNITED STATES should realize that the children in the country mentioned will grow up and do the same thing , that’s what they are being taught by those that commit violence today.

    • Karll

      Exactly. Reagan called the Libyans “irrational” after the marine barracks bombing in 1983 and that is the perfect adjective to describe the entire ME. We never should have gotten involved in their “irrational” business and the BEST course of action now is to remove all troops and personnel from the ME and let them destroy themselves. At the same time we need to be a hell of a lot more “discerning” about who we’re letting into THIS country…..and who’s already here!