No Politics In Perdition, Please

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This won’t take long, kids. And it won’t be all that funny, either. Last night, as I was polishing a piece on an entirely different topic, the Drudge Report ran the headline. Then CNN began screaming that a Presidential address to the nation was expected for sometime after 10:30 EDT. Without seeming immodest, I knew it was coming. The President — any President — wouldn’t ask for a few moments of our time at that hour except under extremely unusual circumstances.

Say goodbye to Osama bin Laden, everyone. Say hello to Damnation, Osama.

In the coming days, weeks and probably months, the theories will fly, the credit will be claimed and the blame will be assigned. While most Americans celebrate the liquidation of one of the most perfect examples of globally influential evil since Stalin purged his last dissident and/or Mao issued his last little red book, there are other residents of our big blue marble who will react in an entirely different manner.

Islamofascists worldwide have already begun issuing messages of rage:

Oh God, please make this news not true… God curse you, Obama… Oh Americans… it is still legal for us to cut your necks.”

Of disbelief:

How can you convince me that all these years American could not kill or even reach him. Americans knew bin Laden suffered from health problems. Maybe he was approaching his death and they wanted to exploit it.”

And of revenge:

We regard this as a continuation of the American policy based on oppression and the shedding of Muslim and Arab blood… (bin Laden was a) holy warrior…

The first two were “man on the street” remarks. That last one is the official statement by the terrorist organization HAMAS. It should be noted that HAMAS has a stateside support group in CAIR (the Council on American-Islamic Relations). CAIR has released a statement ostensibly cheering the news of bin Laden’s execution; meaning either they’ve broken away from HAMAS, or the next jihadi reunion is going to be a little awkward.

I’d also be remiss if I didn’t point out that according to WikiLeaks, al-Qaida has promised to “Unleash a nuclear hellstorm on the West if bin Laden is killed.” Presuming WikiLeaks is credible — a debatable point — the War on Terror is far from finished.

But let me offer everyone a brief thought. For the time being, enjoy the news. A man who literally lived as the proud avatar of modern-day terrorism was hunted down and eliminated. Focus on the fallout tomorrow. Today, congratulate the men and women of our Armed Forces for forcing an animal like bin Laden to spend his twilight years running like a scalded camel. Praise the operators in Seal Team Six for flattening bin Laden like roadkill — without a single American casualty during what is being reported as a 40 minute (!) operation.

Osama bin Laden devoted nearly a quarter century to Islamofascist bloodshed, terror and mayhem. While the hunt took almost 15 years (bin Laden was the prime suspect in the 1998 U.S. Embassy bombings), in the end, Seal Team Six devoted less than an hour to hosing bin Laden down with .223 bug spray.

Today, bin Laden takes his place in Perdition alongside the worst aberrations of human nature. The time for recrimination, for bitter epilogues and politicization is tomorrow.

Ben Crystal

is a 1993 graduate of Davidson College and has burned the better part of the last two decades getting over the damage done by modern-day higher education. He now lives in Savannah, Ga., where he has hosted an award-winning radio talk show and been featured as a political analyst for television. Currently a principal at Saltymoss Productions—a media company specializing in concept television and campaign production, speechwriting and media strategy—Ben has written numerous articles on the subjects of municipal authoritarianism, the economic fallacy of sin taxes and analyses of congressional abuses of power.