Liar, Liar, Pants On Fire!
December 10, 2013 by Ben Crystal
Most of us first met President Barack Obama’s uncle, Onyango Obama, back in 2011. At the time, Onyango found himself in a scrape with the authorities in Framingham, Mass., following a drunken jaunt behind the wheel of his SUV. By the time Framingham’s finest managed to drag Uncle Onyango to the station, his blood alcohol level had subsided to a mere .14 — just a bit under double the legal limit. And then, the real fun began. As it turned out, not only was Uncle Onyango behind the wheel illegally, he was in the United States illegally. Much like the President’s Aunt Zeituni Onyango, who eventually “earned” asylum, Onyango Obama was an illegal alien.
These days, Onyango is still here, somehow securing his own stay of deportation despite his criminal record and the fact that he dodged immigration authorities for nearly two decades before the boys in blue popped him on the DUI charge. According to what little press coverage there has been on the wayward first uncle, Uncle Onyango told arresting officers that 2011 night, “I think I will call the White House.” It’s possible that was the booze talking; because the White House not only didn’t acknowledge taking Uncle Onyango’s call, but chief Barack Obama mouthpiece Jay Carney told reporters that his boss expected no special treatment for his drunken relative. In fact, the President did everything short of an extraordinary rendition to distance himself from his Uncle Onyango.
What confuses me is not that President Obama has an uncle who occasionally makes him wince. Onyango Obama is hardly the first first relative to flit across the headlines over the years. There is no “Uncle O’s Kenyan Lager” to compete with “Billy Beer.” The first daughters have never tried to buy hooch at the Gas’n’Go while their Secret Service detail lingered uncomfortably on the sidewalk. And I’m fairly certain Uncle Onyango hasn’t tried to lobby his nephew for any Presidential pardons for drug convictions.
What confuses me is why Barack Obama lied when asked about his Uncle Onyango’s adventures in driving. In November 2011, just a couple months after Onyango Obama’s arrest, the White House claimed the President had never met the uncle to whom he referred in one of his oddly premature memoirs as “Uncle Omar.” And then, last week, Uncle Onyango embarrassed his nephew again. According to Onyango Obama, the President lived with his uncle while a student at Harvard Law School. And the reason for the latest ever-changing story from the White House strains credulity to the breaking point. The Boston Globe reported:
On Thursday, a White House official said the press office had not fully researched the relationship between the president and his uncle before telling the Globe that they had no record of the two meeting. This time, the press office asked the president directly, which they had not done in 2011.
The Obama White House denied any meeting between the two men, without bothering to ask Obama. If you believe that, I have $30 million dollars waiting in Nairobi. Let me transfer it through your bank account, and I’ll give you 10 percent. Honest!
The truth is: Uncle Onyango hardly qualifies as all that big a deal. Nearly every family has a resident Uncle Onyango. Most of us simply keep him away from the liquor cabinet. If he’s particularly unappealing, we send him a lovely card at Christmastime and cross our fingers that he doesn’t roll into the driveway unannounced like Uncle Eddie from “National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation.”
Most of us handle troublesome relatives that way, but not President Obama. Confronted with a vexing relative, Barack Obama automatically defaulted to dishonesty. Barack Obama lied. Barack Obama always lies. He lied about Obamacare. He lied about Benghazi. He lied about Operation Fast and Furious. He lied about raising taxes on the middle class. And he even lied about poor Uncle Onyango. If Barack Obama were just another liquor store clerk, his lying would be creepy and sad. But Barack Obama is the President of the United States. When Barack Obama lies, people die.