Leaving Las Vegas

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Put a thousand monkeys at a thousand typewriters and you’re probably won’t get Hamlet. Put a couple hundred wingnuts at a couple hundred laptops and you’re lucky if they don’t fling feces.

Last weekend those wingnuts invaded Sin City for Netroots Nation, a conference for wired liberals who secured permission to escape their parents’ basements for a couple of days. They gathered to do precisely what they do at home (albeit, without parental supervision): hate conservatives.

Netroots is the annual summit of what was the far-left fringe of the Democrat party and is now the captain of the Democrat ship. The roster of sponsors is a who’s who of party stalwarts (including): Dailykos.com, whose founder Markos Moulitsas openly celebrated the murder and dismemberment of Americans by islamofacist terrorists, the Service Employees International Union (SEIU), which provides the muscle when Democrats want to get literally tough with taxpayers, and the National Education Association (NEA) and American Federation of Teachers (AFT), which have done more to retard national intellectual growth than anyone.

If the sponsors list was a rogue’s gallery of liberal groups, the featured speakers were a veritable carnival side show. Among those stars was Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif.), who fired off an entirely predictable litany of leftist talking points, all with the core lesson of: the GOP = evil.

Pelosi also kissed a little baby-lib booty, telling the kiddies how gratified she was to see the assemblage of youth in the audience. She neglected to mention the same demographic includes Paris Hilton, kids who wear trucker hats and people who think vampires are cool.

Pelosi’s rant also included some new whoppers to go along with the usual bravo sierra: “We now represent the middle class.” Um… Madam Speaker… you’re a San Francisco society matron/ political heiress whose net worth is just shy of $13 million. Remember when the Dems clamored about George H.W. Bush not knowing the price of a gallon of milk? Which one of Pelosi’s domestic servants keeps track of the soy latte budget?

Maybe Pelosi is too far removed from the middle class—and middle age—to connect with the kiddies on their level. What about erstwhile comedian-turned Senator Al Franken (D-Minn.)? Franken served as the Netroots keynote speaker. Along with some unfunny icebreakers I’m hoping he didn’t pay someone else to write, Franken scared the Birkenstocks off his audience: “Darrell Issa (R-Calif.) is planning to double his staff…” Issa, the ranking member of the House Oversight Committee, wasn’t there to point out—the majority party always gets double the staff at the Oversight Committee. Astoundingly, his speech made no mention of convicted felon voters.

Those two heroes of hypocrisy bookended the usual self-congratulatory blather. Netroots patrons managed to absolve Obama and the Democrats of every broken promise of the past 18 months. A video of Obama’s so-called accomplishments was presented by Keith Olbermann’s mini-me, Rachel Maddow. Among the unmentionables were double-digit unemployment, and the continuation of both of the wars Obama pledged to end.

One of the fundamental tenets of the left is that consensus based on anecdotal evidence is the equivalent of proof, e.g.: so-called anthropogenic global warming. The problem, on display at Netroots Nation this past weekend, is that a consensus of people who think the earth is flat… is a consensus of morons. A hotel filled with people who echo each other’s sentiments, from the silly: “Obama is a great President” to the demonstrably untrue: “all supporters of Arizona’s SB1070 are racist” isn’t likely to put together anything substantive—substance having skipped Vegas for Atlantic City.

Netroots is self-important liberals discussing their consensus that conservatives are stupid/ ignorant, without considering the possibility that they could be WRONG. Netroots is a tinfoil hat brigadier who thinks George W. Bush bombed the levees in the Lower 9th Ward, and then saying he got his proof from the guy in the matching straitjacket.

Left-wingnuts hate the Tea Party, immigration reform, talk radio and (of course) Sarah Palin. They needed to go to Vegas for that?

Leave Vegas to those of us who are going there to get tanked and spend our money before Obama pinches it and gives it to you. Vegas lost cool points when they made it “family friendly.” Remember when you thought it couldn’t get worse than being in the room next to Floyd and Janice from Wisconsin and their five screaming kids?

Imagine it now, only instead of Floyd and Janice, it’s Nancy and Dianne from California, and instead of five shrieking tykes, they brought 500 shrieking idiots.

Ben Crystal

is a 1993 graduate of Davidson College and has burned the better part of the last two decades getting over the damage done by modern-day higher education. He now lives in Savannah, Ga., where he has hosted an award-winning radio talk show and been featured as a political analyst for television. Currently a principal at Saltymoss Productions—a media company specializing in concept television and campaign production, speechwriting and media strategy—Ben has written numerous articles on the subjects of municipal authoritarianism, the economic fallacy of sin taxes and analyses of congressional abuses of power.