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Imagining Obama

May 23, 2013 by  

Imagining Obama

Imagine a world in which President Barack Obama is actually competent and his cronies are honest and dedicated public servants, as opposed to wire-pulling cretins who think the public exists to serve them. Of course, I’m not a Democrat; and I’m not trying to cover a monstrous scandal with a fig leaf’s worth of excuses. I am noting that what some people call an “Administration” more closely resembles a crime syndicate. And since the myriad scandals that now define Obama’s tenure supposedly unfolded undetected by any senior Administration officials, it’s difficult to imagine how any administrating occurred. Quite the contrary: With all the messes they’ve created, it’s difficult to imagine how they’ll ever clean up, much less explain how they screwed up that badly to begin with.

I won’t belabor you with a recounting of the missteps, misdemeanors and murders that Obama and his henchmen have thrown at America the way Al Sharpton throws feces at teenage girls. You dear denizens of Personal Liberty Digest can doubtless recite the litany of Obama’s abuses without prompting from me. Also, we’d need more bandwidth than the Defense Department to read the whole menu of mendacity.

What isn’t in doubt is that the scandals — Operation Fast and Furious; Obamacare; Benghazi, Libya; separate wars on the 1st and 2nd Amendments; and the transforming of the Internal Revenue Service into Obama’s goon squad — all obviously happened and reached much farther into the bowels of the Presidency than the Democrats originally claimed. What is in doubt is who knew what and when. And if press secretary Jay Carney’s daily disinformation sessions are any kind of barometer, gaining an accurate assessment of Obama’s assaults on freedom is going to be tougher than listening to a Democratic Senator blaming the Oklahoma tornado on Al Gore’s imagination.

Monday afternoon, Carney tried in vain to swim to relative safety, jokingly asking: “Are you going to ask me about Myanmar?” The press corps, perhaps tired of carrying Obama’s water in return for secret wiretaps and paper-thin allegations against their colleagues, would have nothing to do with it. Instead, they hurled questions about the extent of the IRS cover-up. They harangued him about the government’s surreptitious surveillance of the AP, FOX reporter James Rosen and others. Clearly, there was neither honor nor mercy between these liberals. At one point, Carney responded to a question about Health and Human Services Secretary Kathleen Sebelius’ likely illegal fundraising by spitting back: “You know, we could go down the list of questions — we could say, what about the president’s birth certificate? Was that legitimate?”

Actually, the mere fact that Carney doesn’t think so makes me think it’s worth examination.

Lies upon lies upon lies upon lies. And not only do the lies grow larger and more complicated with every passing moment, but the complete lack of regard for the Nation’s collective patience grows at an even more exponential rate. It’s hard enough for me to swallow the bitter pill of Obama’s re-election. I can’t imagine how anyone can swallow the idea of an Obama Administration that operates with all the transparency of a New Jersey waste management firm.

I need you to suspend disbelief for a moment. I don’t mean: “Pretend Santa Claus is real so you can enjoy one more Christmas before your kids turn into snotty teenagers.” I mean: “Pretend President Barack Obama looks cool in his ‘mom jeans.’” Just think of yourself as someone with a sense of humor and an IQ higher than Vice President Joe Biden’s hair plugs. Now ask yourself a question: In the real world, could you possibly accept such brazen profligacy; moreover, would you?

–Ben Crystal

Ben Crystal

is a 1993 graduate of Davidson College and has burned the better part of the last two decades getting over the damage done by modern-day higher education. He now lives in Savannah, Ga., where he has hosted an award-winning radio talk show and been featured as a political analyst for television. Currently a principal at Saltymoss Productions—a media company specializing in concept television and campaign production, speechwriting and media strategy—Ben has written numerous articles on the subjects of municipal authoritarianism, the economic fallacy of sin taxes and analyses of congressional abuses of power.

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