Happy Freaking Holidays

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During an appearance on Inside Washington last weekend, National Public Radio‘s Nina Totenberg was rambling through the usual Democrat Party talking points, which she presumably thinks pass for erudite commentary, when she jerked the wheel of mendacity for a moment to offer her sincere apologies for uttering a grossly offensive word…”Christmas”:

“Well, these agencies, including the Defense Department, don’t know how much money they’ve got and for what. And I was at—forgive the expression—a Christmas party at the Department of Justice and people actually were really worried about this…"

Oh, Nina—there are so many things wrong with that whole sentence that it’s difficult to know where to aim the bandwidth.

So—Ms. Totenberg was kicking back at Eric Holder’s place, and everyone took a break from drinking eggnog, refusing to prosecute racist election law violators and defaming the good people of Arizona in order to whine about how much jack those jerks over the Pentagon have?

Moreover, did she just apologize for attending a Christmas Party? I suppose she would have eschewed the pardon-begging if it had been a Ramadan party? I should also ask: “They’re having Christmas parties—at Obama’s Department of Justice?” Does anyone want to bet on how many times the Attorney General did “Mele Kalikimaka” on the karaoke machine?

She’s not sorry that she was playing “pin the red nose on Rudolph” with Obama Administration insiders while claiming to be an independent media commentator. She’s not even sorry she was getting her groove on at the Department of Justice. Nina is begging our pardon for saying “Christmas.”

Nina, that’s just about the only thing for which I will pardon you. Had you been doing the white-woman’s overbite on the DOJ dance floor during a Hanukkah party, I wouldn’t have batted an eyelid. I certainly wouldn’t have expected an apology (although the other party-goers might feel differently).

During the season of giving, I would have surmised that an open-minded and tolerant pundit such as Nina would be more than happy to offer a little tolerance to us Christians. After all, we’ve been fighting off our supposedly Inquisitorial instincts for quite some time in order to tolerate her.

I presume Ms. Totenberg’s apology was directed at the poor non-Christians in the Washington, D.C., Public Broadcasting Service affiliate’s meager audience. I was unaware that they lacked the ability to endure the indignity of hearing about a Christmas party. Just yesterday, I heard a reference to the manufactured “Kwanzaa” holiday. The individual who made the reference offered no apology; of course, I didn’t ask for one.

For almost 80 percent of the nearly 310 million Americans, Christmas is the “most wonderful time of the year.” My question for Ms. Totenberg and her ilk: Why can’t it be the most wonderful time of your year? No one expects you to trim a tree, nor make sure the stockings are hung with care; and I am in no way complaining about some “war on Christmas.” I’m merely suggesting, in the tolerant vein of the Democrats’ beloved savior, Barack Obama, how about the Democrats allow us to show a little love to our Savior? As for Ms. Totenberg: Maybe your wish for Christmas 2010 doesn’t involve some Republican’s grandchildren being stricken with AIDS?

The liberal disdain for Christmas cheer clearly stems from their standard fear mongering masquerading as cultural awareness. It leaves out the right of every American to celebrate his (or her—how’s that for sensitivity?) own culture without reasonable restriction. If you want to celebrate Christmas, then go jingle your bells. If Hanukkah is your winter wonder-days, then spin that dreidel! Heck, invent your own holiday feast! (Kwanzaa has been taken since the late 60s.)

We live in what may well be the most fractured America since the end of the Civil War. It strikes me that a holiday season in which the message ought to be one of love and acceptance engenders an annual effort by some to deliberately exclude others based on religious intolerance. Ms. Totenberg—I’m not talking about the guys who wanted to put up a Nativity scene at the Fire Station.

With Christmas day less than 48 hours from now, I thought it might at least be worthwhile to simply say to Ms. Totenberg and the rest of the killjoys on the left:

“I forgive you. Merry Christmas.”

Ben Crystal

is a 1993 graduate of Davidson College and has burned the better part of the last two decades getting over the damage done by modern-day higher education. He now lives in Savannah, Ga., where he has hosted an award-winning radio talk show and been featured as a political analyst for television. Currently a principal at Saltymoss Productions—a media company specializing in concept television and campaign production, speechwriting and media strategy—Ben has written numerous articles on the subjects of municipal authoritarianism, the economic fallacy of sin taxes and analyses of congressional abuses of power.