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Guns And Loafers

April 16, 2013 by  

Guns And Loafers
PHOTOS.COM

Ninety percent of Americans want President Barack Obama and Congress to mandate background checks on any and all Americans who purchase firearms. And if that overwhelming tide of public sentiment isn’t enough to sway your opinion on restricting the Bill of Rights, consider this: 40 percent of all gun sales are conducted without any sort of law enforcement or governmental oversight. Still can’t see the error of “clinging to your… guns?” Here’s another logic bullet upside your dome: 100,000 Americans are killed by guns every year. Are you still fingering the trigger on your “death machine?” Dig this: Each year, more American children are killed by guns than are killed by cancer. If you’re still holding out, you must be a “domestic terrorist.”

I have personally heard and/or read every one of the above statements presented as irrefutable facts by the “low-information” set (loafers) in the just the past week. Of course, not one of them is true; but damn it, you gun zealots, we’re talking about children’s lives! Besides, liberals have no compunction about fudging the facts when it comes to politics. To put the liberal disdain for honesty before ideology in terms even loafers can understand: “by any means necessary” or “the science is settled.”

Ninety percent of Americans clearly don’t support further infringements on the Bill of Rights. Ninety percent of Americans comprise somewhere in the neighborhood of 290 million people. That many Americans couldn’t agree on free beer. Come to think of it, 290 million Americans couldn’t agree on the Presidency, and that’s despite the loafers’ deification of President Barack Hussein Obama. Even CBS News acknowledges:

Currently, support for stricter gun control laws stands at 47 percent today, down from a high of 57 percent… Thirty-nine percent want those laws kept as they are, and another 11 percent want them made less strict.

In recent days, anti-Bill of Rights crusaders from Obama and New York Mayor Mike Bloomberg on down to the lowest-level loafer have claimed 40 percent of gun sales are conducted without background checks, the so-called “gun show loophole.” The 40 percent number was bogus to begin with (it was based on a poorly sourced 1997 study using questionable data from 1994), and it has disintegrated under scrutiny to such a degree that even The Washington Post noted:

Interestingly, while people often speak of the “gun show loophole,” the data in this…survey shows that only 3.9 percent of firearm purchases were made at gun shows.

Mark Twain (who claimed to be quoting British Prime Minister Benjamin Disraeli) said: “There are… lies, damned lies and statistics.” The 40 percent claim is only two out of three.

Much like the grammatically twisted phrase “gun violence,” the loafers’ insistence on assigning malicious intent to firearms is not only intellectually dishonest, it’s just plain silly. As I’ve pointed out before: Without an operator, a gun is merely an overengineered paperweight. Since the first 13th century Chinese partisans faced off over a bowl of rice, no firearm has killed anyone ever. Anthropomorphizing guns might make it easier for MSNBC to write spooky ledes, but it won’t make those ledes legitimate. Blaming Newtown on guns is like blaming Chappaquiddick on the Oldsmobile.

Likewise, remarks suggesting guns have killed more children than cancer belong in the rhetorical dustbin. The same loafers who loathe the Bill of Rights the way Vice President Joe “Shotgun” Biden loathes dignified public appearances ought to consider redirecting their rage to something that actually kills more kids than cancer; like abortion. There’s a spectacularly macabre example of my point unfolding in Philadelphia. Plenty of prime seating remains available in the media section.

And the loafers certainly don’t help their cause by equating Bill of Rights defenders with terrorists, domestic or otherwise. Not only does that sort of defamatory fearmongering diminish the pain inflicted by actual terrorists, it makes the fearmongers seem sillier than Biden at a spelling bee. Bill Ayers is a terrorist. Wayne LaPierre is not.

The loafers insist a serious discussion on so-called “gun control” is long overdue. But half-truths and outright lies do not make for a particularly worthwhile discussion. I’m perfectly willing to engage in discussion. They should let me know when they’re ready to get serious.

–Ben Crystal

Ben Crystal

is a 1993 graduate of Davidson College and has burned the better part of the last two decades getting over the damage done by modern-day higher education. He now lives in Savannah, Ga., where he has hosted an award-winning radio talk show and been featured as a political analyst for television. Currently a principal at Saltymoss Productions—a media company specializing in concept television and campaign production, speechwriting and media strategy—Ben has written numerous articles on the subjects of municipal authoritarianism, the economic fallacy of sin taxes and analyses of congressional abuses of power.

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