Girl Power: 10 Feminist Icons Who Probably Shouldn’t Be
July 31, 2013 by Ben Crystal
Am I really supposed to believe that Huma Abedin is a feminist icon? According to a number of lapdog media types, her decision to stand by the side of her cyber-creep husband, Anthony Weiner, at the most awkward press conference in New York since Eliot Spitzer admitted to being “Client 9” was “brave.” Pardon me for saying so; but if this is the current state of feminism, then you have not come a long way, baby.
But Abedin is hardly the first traveler on the path to gender equality who bailed on the sisterhood in order to hitch a ride on the proverbial “Weiner Express.” Take a gander at these ladies: 10 women who are feminist icons, but probably shouldn’t be.
Abedin’s big buddy, Hillary Clinton, allowed her husband to treat her like a doormat in return for the privilege of participating in policy decisions and throwing things in the White House residence. The rich girl from Chicago married a pot-smoking fat kid who accepts the word “no” as well as a Kennedy. She then turned an activist liberal law career into the first ladyship of Arkansas, followed by a Senate seat in New York, followed by a failed Presidential campaign that included the original “birther” stories, followed by a turn in the Secretary of State’s office, followed by resignation in disgrace after shockingly callous and dishonest testimony in front of Congress regarding Benghazi, Libya. When Sarah Palin tried to push Senator John McCain into the White House, she endured misogynist attacks from Democrats who were more infuriated by her refusal to accept the liberal idea of “feminism” than a Taliban imam catching a woman reading an actual book. Palin didn’t cling to her husband’s trouser legs while he dropped them on women’s floors from Wasilla to Washington, D.C.; nor did she ever lie to Congress. Liberals decry the very idea of a Palin Presidency. They’re too busy buying Hillary2016! T-shirts.
If you’re a young lady thinking about her future, I’ll grant you this: Be Nancy Pelosi. But don’t be like her. Make an impact on your world, but don’t let it be negative. Pursue your dreams, but not at the deliberate expense of others. Wield what authority you can, but not for authority’s sake. At least, try to cut back on the insider trading. Also, maybe don’t use Botox so much.
Hey, I get it. Oprah Winfrey gave away lots of free stuff on her show. But Winfrey is precisely the wrong person to present as a role model for girls. It’s not that I think Winfrey is all that bad a person. I just recognize that she’s a small-town girl who hit it big in an extremely unlikely fashion. If a little girl starts to work toward a career as an overpaid talk show host who’s essentially famous for being famous, she still won’t get farther than a guest hosting gig on “Good Morning, Tacoma.” Liberals like to whine about radio talk show hosts. At least radio talk show hosts can churn out multiple hours on a daily basis. Take away the commercial breaks, and Oprah couldn’t do more than 44 minutes per episode. Take away Drs. Phil and Oz and Tom Cruise’s couch-jumping performance, and she’s got just enough time left to call Hermes’ Paris store racist for closing on time.
I will say this: I have seen no evidence to suggest she’s not an excellent mother. Her children seem pleasant, bright and well-behaved. That is not something we could honestly say about some of the more recent inhabitants of the White House kids’ table. Raising children who don’t make their Secret Service detail cringe every time they pass a liquor store is a real accomplishment. But being first lady is decidedly not. Until Hillary Clinton Tammy Wynette-d her way to a “co-Presidency,” no one had ever turned the unelected position into more than a charity-focused and ceremonial role. Some would retort that Obama built a promising career as an attorney on a foundation of an outstanding education. I can’t argue with that. Nor can I resist pointing out that she gave it up to hitch a ride to stardom with a community organizer who conned his way onto Air Force One.
This woman is the pro-abortion lobby’s Joan of Arc, Boudicca and Wonder Woman all wrapped up in one neat, compact, eugenics-spouting, racist, genocidal little package. Sanger is considered the mother of Planned Parenthood and spiritual godmother of the pro-abortion movement. Mao Zedong and Joseph Stalin are generally considered the heavyweight champions of intentional genocide, combining to send more than 1 million people to the final gulag. If we split their total right down the middle (and I suspect each would claim the top spot), they come in around 50 million apiece. If you count only the abortions performed since 1973’s Roe v. Wade decision, then Sanger’s monstrous legacy has caused the deaths of somewhere around 55 million people. In fact, that number relies on Centers for Disease Control and Prevention records, which don’t include New York and California totals. Both States legalized abortion years before Roe v. Wade. Furthermore, the CDC readily acknowledges that it hasn’t received a count of abortions from California in years, meaning its total is likely short by a number close to the cost of an Obama family vacation. In addition to the fact that a woman who openly advocated for the extermination of people like her fellow feminist icon Michelle Obama doesn’t seem like a particularly positive role model for anyone, thanks to her parentage of Planned Parenthood, there are a whole lot fewer women around to consider her a role model at all.
Real feminists stand proudly and demand the respect to which they are entitled. Fluke sat pathetically in front of a fake Congressional hearing organized by Pelosi and demanded free birth control — quite a lot of it, in fact. Since her staged appearance at Pelosi’s sideshow, Fluke has gone on to play to adoring crowds which, in some cases, comprised adoring fans numbering in the tens. Here’s something to share with the little faces of the future: Sandra Fluke is famous for demanding the American taxpayers subsidize her rather healthy sexual appetite. That’s right, girls; you, too, can be free from the shackles of the patriarchal phallocracy (or whatever) and have lots and lots of sex. For free! Yay, feminism!
Lady Diana Spencer
Yes, I’m aware that she’s dead. So is Baroness Margaret Thatcher, and “feminists” cheered her passing as if Thatcher had stolen the crown jewels. At least Thatcher actually did something for the British economy other than spend a hefty portion of it on designer threads. The only reason Lady Di came out of her marriage to Prince Charles looking like the victim was that she looked better in those designer threads. I’m not celebrating her death the way liberals did Thatcher’s demise; I am pointing out that Di’s death overshadowed that of Mother Teresa’s, which occurred just six days later. If only the Blessed Mother of Calcutta had tended to the least among us while wearing Armani.
She sat for propaganda photos with the enemy during a war. But she’s a really important actress and, therefore, should be granted more leeway. It was a different time in America; and, therefore, we should ignore her petulant outbursts. We were fighting ourselves as much as communism; and, therefore, we should be more understanding of the fact that she committed treason. Hey, sure. I’ll forgive her for openly fondling an anti-aircraft gun used to shoot down American pilots. I’ll even forgive her for naming her kid after the guy who tried to murder U.S. Secretary of Defense Robert McNamara and Senator Henry Cabot Lodge. I will not forgive her for her autobiography, My Life So Far, which rose above the din of the usual ghost-written celebrity memoir only through torturing the language. Here’s Hanoi Jane on her supposed rediscovery of Christianity:
It was more an experiencing of His presence, a psychic lucidity, that was allowing me access to something beyond consciousness. It wasn’t long, however, before I found myself bumping up against certain literal, patriarchal aspects of Christian orthodoxy that I found difficult to embrace.
So she recognizes God is a He, but she doesn’t want to accept Him as a He. I’m beginning to understand how she managed to both apologize for treason and not apologize for treason.
I’ll be completely honest. I don’t know who that spider-limbed, leathery creature on stage these days is; but that’s not Madonna. Remember when she pretended to have a British accent? Remember how it didn’t really matter what she said; because the accent was so distracting, you couldn’t follow her actual words? Remember thinking that was the smartest she ever sounded? This new iteration says things like:
Y’all better vote for f–king Obama, OK? For better or for worse, all right? We have a black Muslim in the White House. Now that’s some amazing s—t…It means there is hope in this country. And Obama is fighting for gay rights, so support the man, goddamnit.
And the “feminists” think Congresswoman Michele Bachmann is crazy?
According to mythology, Lilith was either a female demon or Adam’s first wife. And now, she’s the namesake of a failed traveling music festival founded on the idea that women were underrepresented in music. The first Lilith Fair took place in 1997, at which point women like Madonna had managed to sell a couple of records despite the patriarchy of the evil recording industry. Hell, by 1997, a woman had served as co-President for four years. And I’m struggling to see the value of encouraging girls to emulate someone who is either the worst ex-wife in history or a soul-crushing hellspawn. But then, that’s almost as redundant as “Crappy Lilith Fair lineup.”
I’m willing to acknowledge both my politics and my plumbing preclude me from membership in the sort of intellectual sorority that produces admiration for Abedin and animus for Palin. But that doesn’t preclude me from recognizing that some of these girls are just plain mean, man!
So by the definition of the kind of people who like to decide for everyone else how things should be defined, I guess I’m not a feminist. I actually already knew that. After all, I turned down free tickets to the Lilith Fair a ways back.