Personal Liberty Digest™ will be upgraded this weekend to reflect a dynamic new look and mobile-friendly viewing to enhance your experience! Plus, we'll be providing even more of the compelling content you've come to expect, delivered in a whole new way!

  Comments Subscribe to Personal Liberty News Feed Subscribe to Personal Liberty

Fathers Should Ask Kids: ‘Am I The Dad You Need Me To Be?’

SAN FRANCISCO (UPI) — How fathers act and respond to children is perceived differently among girls, boys and ethnic groups so a U.S. expert suggests fathers ask for feedback.

Jeff Cookston, a professor of psychology at San Francisco State University, said there’s a need for fathers to sometimes ask their kids: “How am I doing?” “Am I the dad you need me to be?”

“The meaning that children take from the parenting may be as important, or more important, than the behavior of the parents,” Cookston said in a statement. “You may think that you’re being a good parent by not being harsh on your kid, but your child may view that as ‘you’re not invested in me, you’re not trying.'”

Cookston and former graduate student Andrea Finlay examined how adolescents viewed their fathers’ actions — specifically, whether the teens attribute these actions to a dad’s overall character or to his reaction in a particular situation. For instance, a daughter might believe her dad took her to the baseball game because he is a good father, or she might believe he took her to the game because he likes to go to the game.

The study suggested girls tended to believe a father’s “enduring aspects” are responsible for a dad’s good deeds, while boys are more likely to think dads do good depending on the situation.

Mexican-American children are more likely than their European-American peers to think good times with dad depend on the situation, Cookston said.

The reasons for these differences are not clear, Cookston and colleagues said. However, in the case of boys and girls, it might be girls are socialized to interpret other people’s behavior in a more positive light.

The findings were published in the Journal of Family Issues.

UPI - United Press International, Inc.

Since 1907, United Press International (UPI) has been a leading provider of critical information to media outlets, businesses, governments and researchers worldwide.

Facebook Conversations

Join the Discussion:
View Comments to “Fathers Should Ask Kids: ‘Am I The Dad You Need Me To Be?’”

Comment Policy: We encourage an open discussion with a wide range of viewpoints, even extreme ones, but we will not tolerate racism, profanity or slanderous comments toward the author(s) or comment participants. Make your case passionately, but civilly. Please don't stoop to name calling. We use filters for spam protection. If your comment does not appear, it is likely because it violates the above policy or contains links or language typical of spam. We reserve the right to remove comments at our discretion.

Is there news related to personal liberty happening in your area? Contact us at

  • 45caliber

    “Am I the father than you need, son?”
    “NO! You won’t let me go out and stay as long as I like at night. You won’t give me unlimited money! You won’t let me ask my girlfriend to spend the night with me! You won’t let me smoke pot! You won’t give me a new car!”
    Kids don’t know what they need. They haven’t the experience. They only know what they want …


Sign Up For Personal Liberty Digest™!

PL Badge

Welcome to,
America's #1 Source for Libertarian News!

To join our group of freedom-loving individuals and to get alerts as well as late-breaking conservative news from Personal Liberty Digest™...

Privacy PolicyYou can opt out at any time. We protect your information like a mother hen. We will not sell or rent your email address to anyone for any reason.