Outside the Asylum
This past Friday evening, Obama’s cleaning service cleared out a few more file cabinets. Included in the latest peculiarly timed document dump was an email chain extending to the office of Attorney General Eric Holder regarding the murder of Border Agent Brian Terry. The electronic exchange began just after midnight the day after Terry was shot.
Ladies and gentlemen, Ben Crystal delivers the State of the Union address that President Barack Obama would have liked to have given as Americans mark the third anniversary of his ascent.
The infinite monkey theorem states that a monkey given enough time at a keyboard can randomly produce the work of William Shakespeare. Give a monkey enough time at a keyboard and whatever it produces will be closer to the work of the Bard than anything Newsweek might excrete.
Given the endless series of crimes committed by President Barack Obama and his accomplices, it’s hard to imagine why the liberal elite have their panties in a knot over a video of a few Marines answering nature’s call while standing above the corpses of the latest Islamofascists to run headlong into the outstretched fist of the U.S. Military.
On Tuesday morning, President Obama signaled that more of his “change we can believe in” was approaching from south of the border. He promoted Cecilia Muñoz, a former lobbyist for the racist hate group National Council of La Raza, to the position of Director of the White House Domestic Policy Council.
I have no doubt that Barack Obama daydreams about appointing himself an eleventy-star generalissimo, wearing a garish uniform he found on Tinpots-R-Us and assigning himself a title which would make Idi Amin blush. But the dream and the reality of imposing a dictatorship on the United States live a far cry from one another.
Because conservatives are a variegated lot, the possibility looms that some of the candidates will extend their campaigns or even step out to third-party status. Such long-term division would create a split movement, hike expenses into the stratosphere and allow the Barack Obama machine to further coordinate the game plan.
Last week, my esteemed colleague John Myers donned his swami hat and peered into the future. As I perused his prognostications, one in particular caught my eye: “Expect us to have to endure another four years with Barack Obama as President.” I recoiled in horror at the very prospect.
From time to time, liberals manage to stumble onto the proper course of action; although their discoveries routinely fall into the “fire enough arrows and you’ll eventually hit a tree” department. Witness Federal Judge John Bates’ decision to turn back a challenge to section 5 of the Voting Rights Act of 1965.
Vice President Joe Biden has turned out to be a gaffe machine. He appears incapable of leaving his office without tripping over his own tongue. Biden suffers from the sort of verbal diarrhea which makes opposition researchers feel all warm and fuzzy.