Discord in Harmony Park Over Ice Cream Trucks

Some parents in Park Slope, a Brooklyn neighborhood, want ice cream vendors banned from the area. Apparently, the sight of ice cream makes parenting difficult and causes mental anguish for the children.

The movement began when a mother posted the following on parkslopeparents.com: “Along with the first truly beautiful day of the year, my son and I had our first ruined day at the playground. Two different people came into the actual playground with ice cream/Italian ice push carts. I was able to avoid it for a little while but eventually I left with a crying 4-year-old.”

Another concerned mother chimed in: “I should not have to fight with my children every warm day on the playground just so someone can make a living! I too was at the 9th Street Playground on Monday, and one of the vendors just handed my 4-year-old an ice cream cone. I was furious.”

But not everyone thinks that the cold confection should be canned.

“My kid wants every toy they see. Does that mean we should banish all the toy stores? I don’t agree with that,” reasoned a mother.

“I honestly think it’s really stupid,” one man told CNN.

For now, the trucks will continue to make their routes and play their recognizable jingle.

CNN reported that the events transpired around Harmony Park.

President’s Uncle Issued Hardship Driver’s License

The roads of Massachusetts became more dangerous as of April 2. Onyango Obama, the President’s illegal-alien uncle, has been granted a hardship driver’s license.

Just last week, Obama pleaded guilty to a drunken-driving charge from an August arrest. His license was revoked for 45 days.

Obama, who manages Conti Liquors, convinced a hearing officer with the Registry of Motor Vehicles that being unable to drive would cause him undue hardship. Upon receiving a letter from his employer as well as proof that Obama would be participating in an alcohol treatment program, the officer issued Obama a hardship driver’s license with the caveat that he only be allowed to drive in Massachusetts between noon and midnight.

“He met all of the criteria,” said Registry of Motor Vehicles spokeswoman Sara Lavoie.

Bristol County Sheriff Thomas Hodgson doesn’t agree that Obama, who is awaiting an immigration hearing next week, should be allowed on the roads.

“When we start to interpret these laws differently and manipulate them the way we want them to work for certain people, we start to send a mixed message to people that the law doesn’t really matter,” Hodgson said. “It’s subject to interpretation. You don’t have to follow the law. They find ways to justify it. We need the laws to be very clear. We need ‘no’ to mean ‘no’ again.”

Obama Tells Reporters His Policies Would Not Have Been Considered Liberal 15 Years Ago

President Barack Obama is blaming Republicans and journalists for the public’s perception that he is an ultra-liberal left-wing socialist.

“This bears on your reporting,” he said to those in the audience during a statement airing on CSPAN.

Obama then stepped into the role of history professor and gave a brief lecture on the history of political philosophy.

“It’s important to put the current debate in some historical context,” he began.

He proceeded to point out that Republicans are the ones who should be held responsible for our country’s interest in the environment and healthcare.

“Healthcare originated as a conservative idea,” he emphasized. Seemingly dumbfounded that there has been resistance to his approach, he continued, “Now this is some socialist overreach.”

He then made one last attempt in persuading the reporters-turned-history students: “So as all of you are doing your reporting, I think it’s important to remember that the positions that I am taking now on the budget and a host of other issues … if we had been having this discussion 20 years ago or even 15 years ago … would’ve been considered squarely centrist positions. What’s changed is the center of the Republican party.”

Plastic Accelerates Puberty

Every year, kids are entering puberty earlier and earlier. Cases have been cited of girls showing signs of puberty as early as age 4. Doctors have been quick to blame the scapegoat in the throat, otherwise known as the thyroid gland. However, the chemical Bisphenol A, commonly referred to as BPA, may be the culprit.

BPA is found in plastic bottles and cans. It is even in dollar bills and toilet paper.

The chemical is a devious one. Once it is in the body, it imitates estrogen. This can cause a hormonal imbalance which may be the reason for the early onset of puberty.

As our society finds ways to get things done in a hurry, our bodies are doing the same.

Prostitute Exchanges Sex For McDonald’s Hamburgers

Christine Faith Baker, a prostitute in Bradenton, Fla., has been arrested for offering sex in exchange for McDonald’s hamburgers.

An undercover detective of Manatee County was searching for prostitutes when he pulled up to the 47-year-old suspect and offered to give her a ride in his car. The two engaged in a conversation about sex.

The police report states, “She stated that we could go have sexual intercourse if I bought her two double cheese burgers off of the dollar menu at McDonald’s.” The report continues, “I agreed to the deal and purchased the hamburgers for $2.75.”

Baker asked for a tip in addition to the burgers. The officer gave her $60, but she accepted only $40.

She then directed the officer to a vacant parking lot. Upon arriving at the parking lot, she was arrested.

New York City Department Of Education Wants Certain Words Banned From Tests

The New York City Department of Education (NYCDE) issued a list of words and topics that it wanted to omit from the questions of standardized tests. The list, which the NYCDE believes is “sensitive to student backgrounds,” is meant to prevent “unpleasant emotions.”

Shael Polakow-Suransky, the city’s chief academic officer, decided that omitting the words and topics is unnecessary at the present time.

“After reconsidering our message to test publishers and the reaction from parents, we will revise our guidance and eliminate the list of words to avoid on tests,” Polakow Suransky wrote.

The words and topics the NYCDE wanted to expel include the following:

  • Abuse (physical, sexual, emotional or psychological)
  • Alcohol (beer and liquor), tobacco or drugs
  • Birthday celebrations (and birthdays)
  • Bodily functions
  • Cancer (and other diseases)
  • Catastrophes/disasters (tsunamis and hurricanes)
  • Celebrities
  • Children dealing with serious issues
  • Cigarettes (and other smoking paraphernalia)
  • Computers in the home (acceptable in a school or library setting)
  • Crime
  • Death and disease
  • Divorce
  • Evolution
  • Expensive gifts, vacations and prizes
  • Gambling involving money
  • Halloween
  • Homelessness
  • Homes with swimming pools
  • Hunting
  • Junk food
  • In-depth discussions of sports that require prior knowledge
  • Loss of employment
  • Nuclear weapons
  • Occult topics (i.e. fortune-telling)
  • Parapsychology
  • Politics
  • Pornography
  • Poverty
  • Rap Music
  • Religion
  • Religious holidays and festivals (including but not limited to Christmas, Yom Kippur and Ramadan)
  • Rock-and-roll music
  • Running away
  • Sex
  • Slavery
  • Terrorism
  • Television and video games (excessive use)
  • Traumatic material (including material that may be particularly upsetting such as animal shelters)
  • Vermin (rats and roaches)
  • Violence
  • War and bloodshed
  • Weapons (guns, knives, etc.)
  • Witchcraft, sorcery, etc.

NRA Selling Concealed Carry Hoodie

I have decided to join the hoodie craze.

The National Rifle Association has a few products labeled new “on its website, among them: a book entitled The Blue Book of Gun Values, a holster for women to wear on a bra called The Flashbang and a water bottle. And then there’s a product that has many people infuriated: a hoodie that allows you to conceal your favorite licensed pistol.

The product description reads:

Inside the sweatshirt you’ll find left and right concealment pockets. The included Velcro®-backed holster and double mag pouch can be repositioned inside the pockets for optimum draw. Ideal for carrying your favorite compact to mid-size pistol, the NRA Concealed Carry Hooded Sweatshirt gives you an extra tactical edge, because its unstructured, casual design appears incapable of concealing a heavy firearm — but it does so with ease.

The product has been called ridiculous and scary. Nick Ramsay posted on TheLastWord.MSNBC.MSN.com: “For this, I have no words.”

But it seems like a worthwhile product to me. It costs only $64.95. That is a small price to pay for protection.

I think it would be perfect for those cool Florida nights — especially if you are involved in a neighborhood watch program and spend a great deal of time outside. According to the product description, it is comfortable and warm:

It’s the only garment of its kind we know of! Made from a pre-shrunk, heavyweight 50% cotton/50% polyester blend, we’ve taken a standard 9 oz. fleece sweatshirt design and added a full-body polyester lining for added warmth, durability, wind resistance and weight distribution.

You never know what kind of hoodlum you’ll encounter in today’s violent world. Walk with confidence.

Federal Government Spends $822,751 On Training Conference

Martha Johnson, the head of the General Services Administration (GSA), stepped down on Monday. Her move comes in the midst of an investigation about events that took place during a 2010 training conference.

The organizers of the event used taxpayer dollars to hire a clown, a comedian and a mind reader.

Senator Joseph I. Lieberman (I-Conn.) referred to the shenanigans as, “a stupid and infuriating waste of taxpayer dollars.”

According to Jack Lew, White House chief of staff and former director of the Office of Management and Budget, President Barack Obama was incensed when he heard the news. He demanded that anyone who would disregard taxpayers by promoting excessive spending should be held fully accountable.

“He called for all those responsible to be held fully accountable given that these actions were irresponsible and entirely inconsistent with the expectations that he has set as President,” Lew said.

Four GSA employees who helped plan the conference are on administrative leave, and two other officials have been fired.

The Office of the Inspector General (OIG) released a report on the fiasco, which took place in a high-end Las Vegas hotel.

“The OIG found that many of the expenditures on this conference were excessive and wasteful,” the report states. “In many instances GSA followed neither federal procurement laws nor its own policy on conference spending.”

The report breaks down the costs:

  • Total costs: $822,751
  • Costs incurred during the conference: $686,247
  • Costs incurred prior to the conference: $136, 504
  • Travel expenses for conference planning: $100,405.37
  • Catering costs during conference planning: $30,000
  • Catering costs during the conference: $146,527.05
  • Cost of daily breakfast per person: $44
  • Cost for each participant to receive a “yearbook” containing pictures of all attending: $8,130
  • Cost for each participant to receive a shirt: $3,749.40
  • Cost for each participant to receive a commemorative coin: $6,325

Federal Agents Raid Legal Marijuana Facilities

Agents with the U.S. Marshals Service, the Drug Enforcement Administration and the Internal Revenue Service raided Oaksterdam University (OU), a school in Oakland, Calif., that teaches people to raise marijuana.

OU, which claims that its faculty consists of the most knowledgeable people in the medicinal marijuana industry, was founded by Richard Lee in 2007. Lee has been the strongest and most vocal proponent of cannabis legalization in California.

On Monday morning, the agents stormed into Oaksterdam University, Coffeshop Blue Sky, Oaksterdam Museum, the Oaksterdam Gift Shop and Lee’s apartment.

Arlette Lee, an IRS spokeswoman, said the agents were there because of a search warrant.

The raid resulted in about 100 protesters standing outside the yellow tape at OU.

“This isn’t about justice, it’s about revenge and it’s outrageous,” said Stephen DeAngelo, owner of the medical marijuana dispensary Harborside Health Center. “It’s not just an attack on Rich, it’s an attack on every medical cannabis patient in California. It is not coincidental that they are going after the guy who as the lead fundraiser and organizer of Prop 19, which very nearly legalized cannabis in California.”

Medical marijuana businesses are legal in the city of Oakland, but they are prohibited by Federal law.

Federal Government Fines Man For Hunting Bigfoot Without A Permit

A man hunting Bigfoot has been fined $525 for failing to obtain a permit.

Matt Pruitt, a Bigfoot researcher and influential member of the Bigfoot Field Researchers Organization (BFRO), was leading a group through the Buffalo National River Park in Arkansas when he and his 31 comrades were stopped by park rangers. The park rangers looked up Pruitt on the BFRO website and determined that he was conducting a business venture, so he needed a permit.

Karen Bradford, chief ranger at Buffalo National River Park and one of the rangers who cited Pruitt seems to be unclear as to the real reason behind the citation. She told FOX News: “He was given money by people to lead them on an expedition. When you complete any sort of transaction you become a concessionaire and need the proper permit.”

The Arkansas Democrat-Gazette quoted Bradford as saying: “We are in this to protect our resources. If he’s got people running around in the park, who knows what they’re doing looking for this elusive creature.”

Bradford told FOX News: “It’s highly unlikely that he would have gotten a permit if he applied for one. It’s not normal practice to issue them for expeditions to find Bigfoot.”