Ben Crystal Archive
Ben Crystal is a 1993 graduate of Davidson College and has burned the better part of the last two decades getting over the damage done by modern-day higher education. He now lives in Savannah, Ga., where he has hosted an award-winning radio talk show and been featured as a political analyst for television. Currently a principal at Saltymoss Productions—a media company specializing in concept television and campaign production, speechwriting and media strategy—Ben has written numerous articles on the subjects of municipal authoritarianism, the economic fallacy of sin taxes and analyses of congressional abuses of power. Email this author.
I humbly present my ideal version of the leadership of the nation post-2012. Meet the Presidential ticket: Cain/Paul 2012. That’s right, I said Herman Cain and Ron Paul, not the reverse. Think of it as a co-Presidency. It could hardly be worse than the last one; Hillary Clinton isn’t involved.
Every year at this time, I pack up my blaze orange, my snake boots and my 12 gauge, and I travel to the sort of place in which the average Democrat would be as comfortable as Janet Napolitano in a bikini contest. By the time you read this, I’ll be stomping through fields of corn and sunflowers, surrounded by nature’s bounty in the plains of South Dakota. Deer will frolic, coyotes will skulk and pheasants — well — pheasants will die. Quite a few pheasants will die.
I’ve seen the Democrats’ latest attempts to recast President Barack Obama as some kind of latter-day Alexander the Great. I’ve observed from Outside The Asylum as the same liberals who castigated President George W. Bush, President George H.W. Bush and President Ronald Reagan (but not President Bill Clinton) for their warlike ways have suddenly tried to recast themselves as latter-day Gen. George Pattons.
The union/Democratic Party war on our paychecks is on display in South Carolina, where Boeing Co. wants to create thousands of jobs in a 787 Dreamliner assembly plant. The union thugs, outraged that Boeing would decide to build the plane in a State other than decidedly pro-union Washington, have contracted none other than the purportedly pro-jobs Obama Administration as a button man.
I do so love the scent of autumn. The crisp air is rich with the essence of nature’s fireworks, mingling delicately in the breeze with burning logs in happy homes, potpourri cooking on kitchen stoves… and the body odor of overeducated-yet-underinformed college students, their pseudo-academic professors, bloated millionaire and billionaire Democratic donors and fading Hollywood cretins.
It strikes me that as long as the race card remains in the American socioeconomic deck, liberals will play it like they were splitting a pair of aces at a Vegas blackjack table. If you’re looking for the face of true targets of racism, 2011-style, look no further than GOP Presidential candidate Herman Cain.
The so-called “Occupy” movement is difficult to quantify. They’re outraged, but over what: general opposition to American governance? The large population of Obama supporters belies that conclusion. Perhaps the movement is a “youthquake,” as a rising generation asserts its growing power? But the sizeable proportion of middle-aged ne’er-do-wells speaks to a simple rehashing of aging complainants.