Give Us Enough Rope

Last weekend, I posted a link on Facebook to a report in The Washington Post about the Wisconsin Democrats’ cowardly — and enormously unproductive — bail jump to a bar in Illinois. The attendant discussion started in the usual manner: Fun and friendly digs at Democrats, followed by comical and calm-headed retorts to Republicans. And then all hell broke loose. Read this article to learn the significance of American political discourse… 

State of Disunion

Franklin Delano Roosevelt was the 32nd President of the United States. During the depths of the Great Depression, Roosevelt’s New Deal, inaccurately credited with rescuing the nation’s economy, threw open the United States Treasury in an outpouring of feel-good, make-work programs which would have put even John Maynard Keynes (not to mention FDR’s pal Papa Joe Stalin) to shame. 

The Teachable Moment

Backed by money, volunteers and rhetoric from Democrats ranging from the ill-kempt professional protestor types all the way to President Barack Obama himself (“assault on unions”), the far left is out in force in Wisconsin’s capital bearing placards ranging from the now-ubiquitous “Republican-as-Hitler” mock-ups to images of sniper’s crosshairs superimposed over Governor Scott Walker’s face. 

No Thank You, Mr. President

When I talked to Mr. Livingston on Tuesday morning, I suggested that today’s edition of Outside the Asylum could be a stream-of-consciousness look at the State of the Union address and its attendant hoopla. “Sort of a ‘Twitter feed with verbs’ thing;” I offered. Bob was thrilled with the concept. (Well, he didn’t specifically say “no.”) When I looked at my first draft, it was longer than a Democrat mayor’s rap sheet. Bob did say he wanted it to be shorter than, say, the State of the Union.

Big Budget Bingo!

To the average taxpayer, most details regarding the Federal budget are as entertaining as listening to Paul Krugman explain Keynesian economics and the value of active public policy responses to macroeconomic systemic crises and blah, blah, blah… But Ben Crystal has waded through the morass and found an easy way to cut out $150 billion. Read this article to see where Ben would trim… 

The Keith To Our Hearts

It’s official, kids: MSNBC finally decided to get their heads in the game. After eight years of Democrat talking points, incomprehensible Leftist babble and the most inexplicably smug presentation outside a Michael Moore “documentary,” the official television outlet of the tinfoil-hat set has tossed Keith Olbermann onto the pavement in front of 30 Rock. 

Gas’n’Go Under

While driving my hideously fuel-inefficient SUV earlier this week, I noticed the warning light on my instrument cluster alerting me that my gas tank was perilously close to “MSNBC‘s primetime ratings.” Since I have access to neither the private jet nor the chauffer-driven limousine Al Gore uses when he leaves one of his multimillion dollar mansions, I pulled into the next gas station. 

Bad Call

This past weekend, I sat in front of the television watching football and trying to ignore the headache I’d earned on New Year’s Eve. 2010 was a wild ride for me, but just like 2009, I managed to avoid committing any felonies. I deliberately complicated no criminal investigations. I did no time at any Federal penitentiaries. And for sport, I tortured and killed exactly zero dogs.

When We Were 234, it was a Very Strange Year

While it is indeed a fool’s errand to encapsulate what many might describe as an annus horribilis, there were some bright spots on the calendar we’re all about to place in the circular file in the kitchen — and not just the cute puppy on the June page. Read on see how a year in review looks from Outside the Asylum


From our “statements we never want to see in an email from a U.S. Representative” file: “We would ask that you not broadcast this accomplishment out to any of your lists, even if they are ‘supporters’… Thus far, it seems that no press or blogs have discovered it… The longer this goes unnoticed, the better our chances of keeping it.”  — Rep. Earl Blumenauer, (D-Ore.) 

Supersizing Stupidity

Listen to some and you might think McDonald’s is as morally bankrupt as your friendly neighborhood crack dealer. Imagine Ronald and the Fry Guys slow-rolling through the ‘hood, pushing Quarter Pounders on poor Grimace and the Hamburglar. You should listen to reason instead. The belief that a multinational fast food chain would deliberately shorten the lives of their own clientele is sillier than “Nader 2012.”