Return To The City On A Hill

My Fellow Americans:

Today we will exercise one of the most fundamental of the freedoms granted us by the greatest assemblage of intellect in human history. Today, thanks to the foresight and forbearance of our Founding Fathers, we rise together to choose the path we shall collectively — and individually —  follow into the future.

In the largest cities and the smallest villages, we will stride confidently into our polling places and offer our electoral endorsements to those whom we deem worthy to do our bidding as our proxies in city council chambers, State legislatures, Governor’s mansions and the Nation’s capital.

Despite the increasingly shrill calls from the left for a halt to the intellectual and industrial progress which has fueled this magnificent Nation’s greatness for nearly two and a half centuries, today we can add our voices to the mellifluous chorus of those who have gone before us on behalf of those who will come behind us. We can join hands and call out across the fruited plains:  Do not despair, brothers and sisters of this American family. The greatest days of the greatest Nation the Almighty has ever allowed to grace His green earth lie eternally ahead.

Even the most beloved President was merely a man. Without the blessing of the electorate, his most noteworthy accomplishments would have existed only in his imagination. The finest Senator was simply an aspirant to eminence without a collective nod of the peoples’ heads at the ballot box, consigned to the humdrum routine of daily life. The Governors, State legislators, mayors and even dog catchers who climbed the heights of distinction were faces in the crowd without the acclaim afforded to them by the people whom they served. 

Today, amidst the endless line of applicants and also-rans who have spent time and money begging for electoral scraps from the peoples’ table, we have the joy of granting the worthy our assent and barring the unworthy from our corridors of authority. Today, we remind them — at the loftiest moments of their political existence, from city council chambers to the U.S. Senate chamber itself:  The power is ours to lend you. The clout you crave is ours to bestow…or deny. Despite the gripes and groans of those who have lost faith in the American system of government, thus has it always been, and thus should it always be.

I often marvel at those who would sell their vote so casually; whether for cash, for patronage, or empty promises of governmental largesse. The idea of offering up that greatest reminder of personal authority over even the most grotesquely greedy, the most fanatically fatuous and the most stupefying and smug office-seekers for the promise of a potential plum is anathema to me. On this one day, no matter how humble our circumstances, we can tell those who yearn to be our masters: The Obamas, Pelosis, Reids and Rangels — that even in the lofty heights of electoral dominion — WE are the masters of America’s fate, the Captains of the National soul. 

Office-seekers: You are ours. You serve us. The mandates you claim, the authority you seek, even the remuneration you may receive is all contingent upon you performing the duties of your employment to our satisfaction.

My fellow Americans: Today we are the hope of the nation. On behalf of those who came before us, many of whom sacrificed their very lives on the altar of American virtue, I urge you to remember the promise of an American future they passed down to you. I urge you, on behalf of those yet to come, to consider the sacred liberty entrusted to us all, and consider which among those who clamor for your ballot is likely to preserve it for future generations.

Under the watchful eyes of your fathers and sons, those who have passed and those yet to present themselves; indeed, under the gaze of Almighty God himself:

Vote.

And if that soaring requiem for the American Dream didn’t move you, think of it this way:

You might as well vote. Most of the Democrats are going to do it at least twice.

A Kentucky Kicker

The mainstream media headlines carried the story aloft like banners at one of those left-wing “Keep America Stupid” rallies. “Woman Attacked by Rand Paul Supporter.” “Rand Paul Thugs Stomp Democratic Woman.”

Democrats, driven to the heights of hysteria by an impending Election Day which may well send Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif.) to smaller digs, and her Senatorial Deputy Droopalong Harry Reid (D-Nev.) back to Reno, were literally driven to paroxysms of joy at the images of a purported Paul backer taking President Barack Obama’s own strategy of “stepping on their necks” a little too literally.

Given the leftward lean of the MSM, the story was reported with the breathless excitement of a People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals member hearing the tofu delivery guy pulling up in his Prius. In fact, the casual observer might have thought Paul himself had ordered the assault. With Paul gripping a double-digit lead in the Bluegrass State’s Senate race, the left thought they might have been handed the October Surprise they needed. 

But Rand Paul had nothing to do with the alleged assault on Lauren Valle, not that you’d know it from the MSM accounts. In fact, the real story here is merely sad; the political propulsion is conspicuously contrived. A man behaved badly and his comeuppance shall come to pass soon enough. 

For her own part, Valle, a member of the George Soros-backed Moveon.org hate battalion, had arrived at the Kentucky debate to “present” Paul with an admittedly fake “award” for “service to” (something suitably conservative and therefore evil, stupid and/or racist… blah, blah, blah). So, Valle, like her ideological masters at the Soros School for the Simpleminded, has no class.

Neither does the guy who posed for the “Man most likely to be fired by the Paul campaign” photo with his brogan on her noggin. And that should be it. Case closed. The aggressor gets the hook from the Paul camp, everyone agrees hitting girls, even stupid, rude and/or communist girls, is unacceptable; and we “moveon.org” to “Election Day.conservative.”

Sadly, to quote ESPN’s Lee Corso:  “Not so fast, my friend!”

This wasn’t Service Employees International Union purple-shirted stormtroopers getting physical with senior citizens who object to Obamacare in Florida. Nor was it SEIU goons (again) pounding on some black guy who dared to be different in the Show-Me State (conservative activist and assault victim Kenneth Gladney). This wasn’t the New Black Panther Party toy soldiers waving bats outside polling places. In fact, this isn’t even a story about some wingnut assaulting a woman at the same debate mere minutes before the alleged attack on Valle

The Paul/Conway debate debacle is an opportunity to paint Paul as a fascist and his supporters as goose-steppers. Those aforementioned tales of liberal violence directed toward conservatives are documented fact, but they certainly don’t jibe with the Left’s last-ditch efforts to steer the Hope and Change Express back onto the Political Relevancy Parkway, so they don’t grab the headlines. 

In actuality, the Battle of the Bluegrass Beatdown is a shallow tale. It’s supposed to go: Guy hits girl. Guy faces punishment. However, in the days of Democrat desperation, the progressive progression now reads: 

  • Guy hits girl. 
  • Media checks guy’s political persuasion. 
  • Guy turns out to be Republican. 
  • Media claims guy is representative of all Republicans. 
  • Guy faces punishment for alleged assault. 
  • GOP faces media lynching for encouraging violence. 

Of course, if the avowed offense had been committed by one of Obama’s true-blue (state) toadies, the progression would follow thusly:

  • Guy hits girl. 
  • Media misses attack while bending over to tie shoes. 
  • Guy goes back to SEIU local HQ and has beer with fellow goons. 
  • Girl goes home, forgotten. 
  • Media ignores attack, and blames GOP for making poor SEIU thugs so angry.

I am not so foolish to suggest that the Republicans are entirely a decent lot, devoid of philistine and clod. However, as a self-manufactured electoral doom rises to greet the Democrats, some of their behavior is repellent to the core, regardless of whether the MSM chooses to acknowledge it.

Nonetheless, what we have in the Story of the Stomping of Valle is breathtakingly simple: Some people are cretins, political persuasion be damned. Valle may be a lunatic who’s allowed a tinfoil-hat brigade like Moveon.org take control of her underemployed cranium — but that means she deserves to be educated, enlightened, and if she won’t learn the errors of her liberal ways — ignored; not pounded like an Obamacare opponent who stopped to ask for directions at the local SEIU chapter.

Whichever way you choose to cast your ballot this Tuesday, remember:  Don’t hit girls — even when the Democrats say it’s all right.

In The Red Zone

Ah, autumn. The morning air is crisp, like the money Obamacare will lift from your wallet. Your breath begins to fog the air like the teary-eyed mewling of global warming pseudo-scientists. Temperatures drop like President Barack Obama’s approval ratings. The foliage erupts with hues reminiscent of John Boehner’s face and Maureen Dowd’s hair. Meanwhile, Americans gather in living rooms across the nation and drink cheap beer, eat the kind of food which makes cardiologists put down deposits on new Mercedes S-Class sedans, and roar for their favorites to push the ball across the goal line.

Oh, and there’s that whole “midterm election” thing, which is nowhere near the red, white and blue Americana as NFL Sundays and their attendant heartache and heartburn; but a great deal more heartwarmingly patriotic than two more years of saying “Speaker Pelosi.”

As Republicans roll toward a possible capture of both houses of Congress, and Democrats begin calling the movers and packing their “Most Likely to Win the Convicted Felon Vote” trophies, I decided to add a little pigskin patois to the upcoming electoral proceedings, and offer a look at a few races which are demonstrative of the changing tide of American politics. Obviously, I’m not going to cover the whole electoral gridiron, Personal Liberty Digest patriots, there’s always room in the comments section.


Sharron Angle v. Harry Reid
U.S. Senate — Nevada

The Mean Girl versus the Milquetoast. Republicans can take control of both Houses, a conservative revolution can grip the nation like Michael Moore getting his paws on the last hot-glazed at Krispy Kreme, and the Dems will still breathe a collective sigh of relief if Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi’s purse-porter can somehow hang on in the Silver State. Reid has lived on the edge in recent years, using the liberal bent of the mainstream media to hide everything from Jack Abramoff ties to patronage scandals. With Pelosi beyond the GOP’s reach inside her wealthy San Francisco perimeter, Reid is the top 2010 target. Reid’s political longevity may work in his favor, but familiarity has bred some serious contempt for incumbents this season. If Angle was slightly less gaffe-prone, Reid, a former boxer, would be on the canvas for good. As it is, this one is going down to the wire, with neither candidate able to cross the 50 percent approval Rubicon in 2010. I’ll call it an upset, with the aging champ finally taking the tumble.
Pick: Angle 50.5-47


Chris Coons v. Christine O’Donnell
U.S. Senate — Delaware

Something tells me that Christine O’Donnell is less of a legitimate candidate, and more of a statement by the Tea Party that the GOP had better get used to playing ball. After all, this race wasn’t supposed to be a race at all. Mike Castle should have locked this one up back when Joe Biden bounced to go play Johnny to Obama’s Señor Wences. But O’Donnell, backed by the Tea Party, showed Castle the door, simultaneously allowing otherwise forgettable Democrat Chris Coons to sneak through. I’m sure conservatives would love to claim this one is in play, but O’Donnell’s first ad was a plea to First Staters to trust that she wasn’t auditioning for Macbeth in her spare time. We’ve all heard the adage: “any publicity is good publicity.” Not necessarily, kids. With little else to fight over in Delaware, look for moderates to either stay home or begrudgingly cast ballots for Coons.
Pick: Coons 55-41


Michelle Bachmann v. Tarryl Clark
U.S. House — Minnesota (6)

Bachmann’s definitive statements infuriate Democrats and energize conservatives. Whether it’s her speculation that Obama “may have un-American views,” or her suggestion that some members of the Beltway crowd deserve investigation for “anti-Americanism,” Bachmann is one of those unapologetic types who make the wingnuts sputter with rage even more than normal. Her statement that opponents of the Ground Zero Mosque should be Federally investigated… oops, that was Nancy Pelosi. Both Bachmann and Clark are well-funded; and in what may well be an Electoral Waterloo for Democrats, they’d love to take Bachmann’s seat as a consolation prize. It won’t be easy — Bachmann has Tea Party backing, she’s a vigorous campaigner, and she’s a two-term incumbent.
Pick: Bachmann 52-46


Jerry Brown v. Meg Whitman
Governor — California

Where else? Former Governor, Mayor of Oakland, paramour of Linda Ronstadt and “Buddhist Economist” Jerry Brown heads into Election Day 2010 with a slight lead in most polls. The man dubbed “Governor Moonbeam” by some is by no means the strangest cat in California, but Meg Whitman’s campaign has done little to convince voters that Brown is an intellectual extraterrestrial. With Republican Arnold Schwarzenegger departing with approval ratings reminiscent of the disgraced Gray Davis (23 percent), it’s hard to imagine any Republican having any chance at all. But 2010 has been about as normal as the hairstyles on the Santa Monica pier. Whitman has a chance, but so do the rubes playing the nickel slots in Tahoe.
Pick: Brown 51-46


Barbara Boxer v. Carly Fiorina
U.S. Senate — California

It’s a good thing Californians don’t have photo arrays built into their voting machines. A casual glance at Boxer and Fiorina reveals an odd similarity of appearance. It’s also a good thing these two are not related, although Thanksgiving dinner at THAT house would be fun to watch — from outside. Boxer won by 20+ back in 2004, and Obama carried California by close to 25 points in 2008. But the economic meltdown which has hit the Golden State particularly hard, combined with Obama’s colossal ineptitude in response, has damaged Boxer’s chances somewhat. Considering Boxer lists so far to port that she actually refused to certify the 2004 Ohio election results based on the DNC’s fake Diebold-machine scandal, it’s safe to say that inland Golden Staters, who tend to lean right, may show up just to help Babs pack her bags. Neither Boxer nor Fiorina has 50 percent polling averages, with Boxer just ahead, I’m calling upset.
Pick: Fiorina 50.5-48


Proposition 19
Ballot initiative to decriminalize personal/recreational marijuana use

People who are unfamiliar with California’s internal politics probably assumed this was already the law of the land in the Golden State. Oddly, it isn’t. Perhaps more oddly, absolutely no one of significance on the California ballot supports it — including Jerry Brown, who would probably switch sides if the bill legalized LSD. U.S. Attorney General Eric Holder has stated that the Feds will pick up where the state leaves off if Prop 19 passes, which may actually boost Prop 19’s chances, especially if every pothead in California stumbles into the polls on Nov. 2.
Pick: NO 53-47


Ike Skelton v. Vicky Hartzler
U.S. House — Missouri (4)

The mere fact that Skelton’s seat is even threatened is newsworthy in and of itself. Skelton has represented Harry Truman’s old district for more than three decades, and is a reasonably moderate Democrat. Skelton is also the chairman of the powerful House Armed Services Committee, not a position normally held by a representative whose head may be on the block. Skelton held a double-digit polling lead a few months ago, but votes for TARP, the stimulus and Cap and Trade have dragged him into a dead heat with former State Legislator Hartzler. Skelton is nearly as old as Missouri statehood, and his clock may well be running out this time.
Pick: Hartzler 48-42.


Charlie Crist v. Marco Rubio v. Kendrick Meek
U.S. Senate — Florida

Charlie Crist used to be a Republican, more or less. Then, when former State Assemblyman Marco Rubio began showing signs of upending Crist in the GOP primary to replace the retiring Mel Martinez, Charlie dropped out to run as an independent. When conservatives statewide began showing signs of abandoning Crist, then he said he might caucus with Democrats if elected. When Crist said that his polling numbers against Rubio began to plunge like South Beach necklines. All of that was then. This is now. Rubio is way ahead to stay. Oh — Congressman Kendrick Meeks is the Democrat entry in this race. I’m sure someone will have a nice parting gift for him.
Pick: Rubio 47 – Crist 31 – Meek…a few.


Richard Blumenthal v. Linda McMahon
U.S. Senate — Connecticut

Ask any political satirist in the western world which race means the most, and they’ll probably tell you: “Sharron Angle versus Harry Reid.” Fair enough, the possible upset of the Desert Rat by The New York Times’ least favorite woman (other than Sarah Palin) is certainly newsworthy. But secretly, we all want Linda McMahon to give Richard Blumenthal a game. After all, if the former WWE executive wins, the jokes pretty much write themselves for the next six years. Just imagine the headlines the morning after a McMahon upset:

“Linda Lays the Smackdown!”
“McMahon Bodyslams Blumenthal”

This one should have been what the wrestling biz calls a “squash match.” In the race to replace the retiring Chris Dodd, Blumenthal has done as much to keep McMahon in the match as she has for herself. He exaggerated his military service record, which in actuality makes John Kerry a regular Audie Murphy by comparison. He flat-out lied about never accepting PAC money while bagging more than $200,000 in the first quarter of 2010 alone. And then there was that YouTube-tastic moment during the debate when McMahon choke-slammed him (see?) on job creation.

Nonetheless, recent polling has Blumenthal’s lead hovering in the double-digit arena. McMahon will have to come off the top rope with a serious elbow to win this belt. (I couldn’t resist.)
Pick: Blumenthal 54-44


There are quite a few races which I could have mentioned; but bandwidth trumps punditry. Alabama’s 2nd is worth a look, as is Colorado’s 7th. Joe Sestak has come back from the dead against Pat Toomey in the race to fill the Pennsylvania Senate seat which Arlen Specter essentially abdicated. In Ohio, former GOP congressional heavyweight John Kasich holds a slim margin over gubernatorial incumbent Ted Strickland.

And let’s not forget New York’s gubernatorial race, where hookers statewide harbor hope that Andrew Cuomo will turn into Client 11 — if Carl Paladino doesn’t hit him with a shovel beforehand.

The rest I leave to you, fellow Livingstonians. Vote early, vote often — oops, that’s ACORN.

Radio Free Ameriʞa

Even Stalin didn’t move this fast. It took Uncle Joe 15 years to put an x in the box marked “Trotsky.”  Note to Juan Williams: Stay the hell out of Mexico for the foreseeable future. 

Last Monday night, National Public Radio mainstay Juan Williams, exceedingly rare amongst liberals given his honesty and introspection, was speaking on Bill O’Reilly’s enormously popular nightly program. By Wednesday, he was cleaning out his digs at the taxpayer-funded, American Vsesoyuznoye radio.

Williams, who also contributes to the liberals’ bogeyman Fox News, was unceremoniously dumped from his gig at NPR for crimes against the proletariat, specifically: “not blindly hating all non-liberals.” Juan had committed an unforgivable breach of democrat decorum — denial of dimwitted dogma. 

Evidently, 9/11 left Williams with slight hesitation about boarding an airplane with a member of the same religion as the 9/11 hijackers, the Taliban, al-Qaida, HAMAS, Hezbollah, Abu Nidal, Abdelbaset Ali Mohmed Al Megrahi, Islamic Jihad, Abu Abbas, Yasser Arafat, Mullah Omar, the PLO, Abu Sayyaf, Al-Aqsa Martyrs Brigade, Ansar-al-Sunnah, Jamaat Ul-Furquan, Richard Reid, Ramzi Yousef, Khalid Sheikh Muhammad, Omar Abdel Rahman, Saddam Hussein, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, Ayatollah Khomeini, Wadih el-Hage and Zacarias Moussaoui (to name a few): 

“…when I get on the plane…if I see people who are in Muslim garb and I think…they are identifying themselves first and foremost as Muslims, I get worried.”

Williams was not damning Islam in toto. During the same conversation with O’Reilly, Williams was careful to point out the potential bigotry in lumping a billion members of the species with irregular, bomb-heaving jihadis:

“…careful…there are good Muslims…You know, we don’t want, in America, people to have their rights violated, to be attacked on the street because they hear rhetoric from Bill O’Reilly, and they act crazy.”

Note the context. Liberal groups leapt to crucify Williams, but on their way to drive in the nails, they forgot that Williams’s statement wouldn’t vanish into the bandwidth ether like an Obama campaign promise. Tinfoil-hat brigadiers including the drones at Dailykos (whose owner, Markos Moulitsas Zuniga, openly celebrated the murder, dismemberment and burning of Americans by Muslim terrorists), MSNBC (where Rachel Maddow — Keith Olbermann’s mini-me — claimed former Texas Representative Steve Stockman had advance warning of the Oklahoma City bombing), and NPR itself (whose still-employed correspondent, Nina Totenberg proudly wished former North Carolina Senator Jesse Helms and his grandchildren would be stricken with AIDS), ALL deliberately missed Williams’ larger point.

But the purge wasn’t over. Within hours of NPR’s politically motivated termination of Williams, storm troopers across the blogosphere began an Orwellian revision of Williams’ public image. Here are a couple of servings of NPR’s regurgitated CYA talking points:

“He was hardly a lib. He was a closet conservative!” — Huffington Post buffoon.

“Juan Williams is a real liberal like professional wrestling is a real sport.” — Dailykos inmate.

“…he’s a Fox shill.” — Facebook poster (who is going to be furious that I was paying attention).

Actually, he’s an adroit analyst who has been victimized by an ersatz NKVD. I wonder how long it will take for NPR to photoshop Williams out of the All Things Considered softball team picture.

Williams may not be alone. Mara Liasson, another NPR personality who moonlights at Fox News, is now in the crosshairs. Following NPR’s sacrifice of Williams at the altar of left-wing anti-intellectualism, Media Matters for America — the left’s Ministry of Truth — fired up the newspeak Thursday morning; calling for the termination of Liasson, who to date has taken no public position on fellow air travelers.

Peering into the depths behind the allegorical assassination of Williams reveals the shadowy figure of Stalinist sugar daddy George Soros, who has donated millions to both NPR and Media Matters. I won’t go so far as to suggest Soros is behind NPR’s move against Williams and MMA’s assault on Liasson, but given the sway he holds over the liberal movement in the United States, I would be less surprised by Anita Hill apologizing to Virginia Thomas.

In the wake of Williams’ demise, the long-overdue debate has erupted over the taxpayer funding of NPR’s port-side list (nearly $4 billion in the last decade). I contend:

  1. NPR has a right to show Williams the door. This IS a free-market economy, despite the aims of Soros and his liberal minions. Just like MSNBC has the right to consign itself to the Olbermann-induced memory hole, NPR can sweep out any vestiges of intelligent discourse.
  2. As taxpayers, we have the right to tell NPR to go beg at Soros’s back door for more swag.

To paraphrase NPR CEO Vivian Schiller: If they don’t like it, they can always take it up with their psychiatrists.

Girl Talk

Pity poor Maureen Dowd. How awful her life must be, carrying the psychic scars of indignities suffered during adolescence so far into her twilight years. Try to forgive her embittered rant against the girls who gave her a hard time in high school.

Appearing in Sunday’s issue of The New York Times, Ms. Dowd offered us heathens “Playing All the Angles;” a housecat-swipe of her claws at her teenage tormentors. Well, their proxies, at least — Mo never knew girls like Sarah Palin, Sharron Angle or Christine O’Donnell in high school. They didn’t live in the urbane confines of Washington D.C.’s well-heeled neighborhoods, and they surely didn’t score silver-platter jobs in the journalism field straight out of Rich Girl University. 

Dowd actually has talent as a writer, albeit drastically misdirected. Her tendency toward extreme bombast is far less noticeable than it might be were it not for the colossal talent-shadows cast by vastly more appealing thinkers like Charles Krauthammer (smarter), P.J. O’Rourke (funnier — on purpose), and Christopher Hitchens (more interesting — with better hair).

Her plagiarism and deliberate mischaracterizations are oft-noticed, but Dowd is a woman, so she demands — and gets a free pass. Let me amend that. Dowd is a liberal woman, so she gets a free pass.

She certainly doesn’t offer them. 

Just days after the California chapter of NOW stood up to be counted with Jerry Brown in calling Meg Whitman “a whore,” Dowd reserved her bile for Whitman, not Brown — nor NOW. 

Her screed focused primarily on Sharron Angle, the fund-raising machine who has hapless milquetoast Harry Reid cowering in the corner like a flyweight who’s just been told he’s sparring with one of the heavyweight boxing champion Klitschko brothers. But despite the fact that Dowd was evidently inspired by an Angle event, she made room for catty claws at other conservative women who are laying the proverbial smackdown on her liberal allies. Of course, she called Angle a racist, which was ludicrous, especially considering that Dowd is whiter than the putty-faced Park Avenue trust fund dowagers who still take her seriously.

As an earnest wingnut, Dowd takes the obligatory potshots at other nationally-reviled Women of the Right. To be fair, in the age of MSNBC‘s all-hate-all-the-time programming, old war horses like Dowd have to use as wide a choke as possible in their satirical shotgun. 

Welcome to America’s post-post-feminist era. Sorry, “strong women,” the girls of the Vast Right Wing Conspiracy were locked out in 1999. 

Whatever happened to celebrating girl power, anyway? When then-First Lady Hillary Clinton decided to use her husband’s capital to put her trial lawyer pals in charge of the nation’s doctors, liberals like Dowd accused her critics of everything short of ersatz Salem Witch Trials. Now, strong women scare Dowd the same way a week at a nudist colony with Nancy Pelosi would scare…everyone. (I would need to iron everything I own the moment I got home.) 

Reading Mo’s Sunday simper was a glimpse inside the tortured psyche of American journalism’s most famous cocktail party conversationalist. She identifies eight Republican women by name, and then tears into them like she was the president of the science club and they were the cheerleading squad. 

“We are in the era of Republican Mean Girls, grown-up versions of those teenage tormentors who would steal your boyfriend, spray-paint your locker and, just for good measure, spread rumors that you were pregnant.”

But Dowd is an analytical commentator, not a jealous harpy, right? The only thing that was missing from her literary shriek was a pair of boxes at the bottom of the text marked:

“Check Y or N?  Do u h8 mean gurlz az much az me?”

Dowd compares her subjects to the “mean girls” who tortured her in high school; and then verbally shreds Angle’s hair, wardrobe, respect for the 2nd Amendment and even her… vehicle?:

“With casino red suit and lipstick… Angle… campaigns at times with a .44 Magnum revolver in her 1989 GMC pickup.” 

An ’89?  Horrors.  At least Dowd isn’t a “mean girl.”

The strong women on “The View” were so upset when Bill O’Reilly pointed out the religious identity of the 9/11 hijackers that they stormed off in stereotypically estrogen-soaked outrage. California’s NOW babes called Meg Whitman a “whore.” Rachel Maddow falsely implicated Steve Stockman in the Oklahoma City bombing. Nancy Pelosi wanted Federal investigations into opponents of the Ground Zero Mosque. And now we have Ms. Mo, howling like the runner-up to the homecoming queen about the high school-ish tendencies of conservative women.

Girls, girls, girls — save it 4 Facebook.

Strange Things Afoot in the Golden State

Actually, stranger than normal things are afoot in the Golden State. Considering they elected a governor who can’t pronounce “Golden State,” stranger than normal is a stretch in the land of fruits, nuts and O.J. jurors.

But, when Californians step into their voting booths on Nov. 2, they will face a choice which has drawn considerable interest from parties far and wide, most notably from U.S. Attorney General Eric Holder. 

California’s Proposition 19 is a ballot measure which would reclassify growth, use and sale of recreational marijuana as a legal activity, within certain parameters. (Sorry Spicoli, you still won’t be allowed to get baked in the bathroom before biology.)

Last week, Holder announced that while Californians might give Prop 19 the thumbs up, the administration of President Barack Obama will continue the decades-old tradition of giving it the Federal thumbs down. Specifically, the Feds will:

"…vigorously enforce the Controlled Substances Act against those individuals and organizations that possess, manufacture or distribute marijuana for recreational use, even if such activities are permitted under state law."

Does decriminalization really threaten a state in which the doddering Zen Master Jerry Brown is leading in the race for the Governor’s Mansion?  For that matter, does decriminalization threaten a nation in which Barack Obama is President, and one of the top rated programs on television involves the saga of halfwits called “The Situation” and “Snookie?”  Is it possible that we have more pressing concerns than either, or even “J-Woww?”

Of the massive taxpayer dollars dedicated to keeping taxpayers off drugs, about $15 billion go to marijuana enforcement. Marijuana-related arrests are closing in on 1 million annually. Law enforcement man-hours, criminal court calendar backlogs and those insipid “Ad Council” spots which try to convince you that lighting up now might keep you from being President (even though lighting up then didn’t stop Obama, George W. Bush and Bill Clinton) all cost time, resources and money. 

For many of you who regularly join me Outside the Asylum, the idea of decriminalizing marijuana is surely anathema. Let me be clear:  I’m merely suggesting that this is a debate worth having. I am NOT suggesting we roll a legal snowball down Narcotics Mountain.

Drugs like heroin, cocaine/crack and crystal meth should remain illegal, despite the potential Social Darwinian benefits of allowing the deserving members of the American herd to engage in self-culling behavior. Anything which makes stabbing yourself in the carotid with a dirty hypodermic needle, shooting the 7-Eleven clerk because he asked why your jaw was rattling like Jimmy Buffett doing a benefit show in Antarctica and washing your face with steel wool is a bad idea in the same vein as: “Don’t worry, our daughter caught a ride with Senator Kennedy.”

Consider legalization logic outside of the burden on law enforcement. This isn’t just an issue for slack-jawed frat boys, mouthy rock stars and the creepy guy with the dreadlocks who spends all day in front of the liquor store smelling like he rolled in something awful. 

Imagine the economic benefits if pot farming was legal. 

Pot is currently the top cash crop in about a dozen states, including Personal Liberty Digest’s home state of Alabama. In fact, it ranks in the top 10 in every state in the union except North Dakota (where it’s 11th).

Marijuana grows like a… well… weed. And I suspect those statistics understate reality. I somehow doubt every Farmer Brown in the hinterlands is entirely forthcoming with the United States Department of Agriculture inspector who drops by to check the sorghum fields.

Instead of $15 billion spent on the War on Weed, U.S. farmers could produce $115 billion in taxable commodity. Perhaps that explains support for decriminalization from Ron Paul, the late William F. Buckley and Nobel Prize-winning economist Milton Friedman. They recognize $42 billion in wasted total tax revenue when they see it.

In 1919, the 18th Amendment to the Constitution made booze verboten. For the next 14 years, organized crime grew from cottage industry to colossal enterprise. Getting tanked is legal again, while getting stoned is decidedly less so. But anecdotal evidence suggests alcoholics are much more likely to slide into a family of four while doing Mach 2 through the subdivision than the pothead who can’t find the keys to the minivan because they’re in… his pocket.

We’ve been fighting an intramural War on Drugs (marijuana division) for decades. We’ve spent billions on largely ineffective enforcement initiatives and put millions of otherwise non-threatening citizens behind bars, often turning them into hardened offenders by the time they get out. As unlikely as it seems, perhaps California has shown us a better way… dude.

Hoisted With Their Own Petard…

President Barack Obama’s most recent assault on conservatives is a new twist for the Democrats’ old school tactics of distraction, duplicity and defamation. As a November to Remember approaches in the fast lane, Obama has pulled the handbrake on reason… and steered his party into oncoming traffic.

His latest tactic: An effort to chain conservatives to that hotbed of radicalism, foreign intrigue and evil known colloquially as the United States Chamber of Commerce. Although seemingly a mild-mannered bunch of folks who wear khakis to work and own small businesses with those digital time-and-temperature displays out front; the Chamber, according to the Democrats, is a front for a massive monetary pipeline which funnels ducats from the darkest corners of the earth into the accounts of Republican and Tea Party candidates here at home.

We know what depths these bastards are plumbing, because Obama and his ever-vigilant allies have presented us with a mountain of… er… a plethora… um… a couple of examples… well, they said so; so it must be true.

They have it partly right. There IS a candidate out there who has collected huge sums of untraceable largesse from some fairly shady characters in some fairly shady locations. Some of this particular pol’s hauls were loaded in HAMAS and Tamil Tiger terrorist camps (more than $35,000). Some flowed forth from the oil-rich United Arab Emirates (more than $25,000). Some of the yuan even started its journey in Chinese communist checkbooks (a whopping $366,708.22).

But this mendacious money-grubber is no Republican. There is no Tea Party-backed candidate with their fingerprints all over this overseas swag. The beneficiary of the booty in question is none other than Barack Hussein Obama.

That’s right, kiddies. Every single shovelful of cash I just described went to your community activist-in-chief. It should be noted that when informed of a similar Tamil-tainted donation, Hillary Clinton returned the loot. The HAMAS-linked Money Claus listed his hometown as “Rafah, GA, 972.” Rafah isn’t some pastoral Peach State paradise, it’s a HAMAS-controlled refugee camp in Gaza (hence the GA).

As for the “972” — it’s clearly not a metro Atlanta zip code, but it IS the telephone area code for Israel, including the Rafah refugee camp. Also in Obama’s kitty: Cash from a donor listed with the Federal Election Commission as “Doodad” ($10,780), who listed his (or her) employer as “FDGFDGF,” where “Doodad” toils as a “DFGFDG.” Additionally noteworthy is a list of donors — whose largesse included dollars AND cents (think foreign exchange) — nearly as interminably long as a Proust seminar taught by a Chevalier impersonator with a speech impediment.

Last Sunday morning David Axelrod, Obama’s latter-day Goebbels, found himself squirming in the unlikely crosshairs of none other than Bob Schieffer. Schieffer, who once claimed he was unaware of the Democrats’ connection to the New Black Panther Party because he was “on vacation,” is apparently back from his intellectual beach house. When Axelrod vomited up Obama’s “Chamber of Commerce + GOP = some cat with too many consonants in his name is stealing the election” talking points, Schieffer — to paraphrase Obama’s own administration — stepped on Axelrod’s neck:

Schieffer: “But this part about foreign money, that appears to be peanuts, Mister Axelrod, I mean, do you have any evidence that it’s anything other than peanuts?”

Axelrod: “Well, do you have any evidence that it’s not?”

Axelrod’s response reveals the old “throw enough poo at the wall” strategy, one step from a “list of 205 names.”

Schieffer’s “peanuts” comment was a reference to a report in The New York Times (the rats are leaping off the liberal ship) which revealed that not only do the Democrats’ latest attacks on the Chamber and GOP lack citation, they’re purely defamatory, a simple “big lie” gambit. Evidently, Obama is counting on CBS returning Nielsen ratings which couldn’t make the Knitting Channel jealous because Obama was beating the drum again Tuesday. According to Obama’s spokesmodel Robert Gibbs:

"There’s no reason to back off. If there are organizations raising tens of millions of dollars that won’t tell us who their donors are, my guess is they’re not telling us for a reason — because they have something to hide."

Setting aside the fact that Obama has bagged boodle from Bangkok to British Petroleum (he’s the largest individual recipient of BP’s black gold), I can put this chapter of the DNC’s desperation down as quickly as Michael Moore can hover the spread on the craft services table.

But, I’ll give the honor to Schieffer:

“If the only charge three weeks (from) the election that the Democrats can make is that somehow this may or may not be foreign money coming into the campaign, is that the best you can do?”

A Word To The Wise…

While Democrats prepare for the winter of their discontent, Republicans are practicing their best end zone dance moves. As a student of history, I thought I might offer a Santayana-style caveat. Presuming November produces the electoral Waterloo the Democrats deserve, the GOP needs to remember the lessons of the past. 

Let’s step into Mr. Livingston’s “Way Back” machine:

November, 1994. 

Led by an emergent Newt Gingrich, the Republican Party wrested control of Congress from the Democrat machine after 40 years of hegemony. Two years after a previously unknown governor from a previously politically unremarkable state wrested control of the White House after 12 years of Republican dominance, the GOP returned the favor.

Oh, what heady days for the right. Two years of Woodstock-in-the-White-House policies; and finally someone who wasn’t governing by acid flashback-induced hallucinations got a hand on the throttle —  as opposed to a hand on a plump intern. 

But the Republicans underestimated Bill Clinton’s resiliency. Unlike President Obama, Clinton wasn’t blinded by starry-eyed obedience to the teachings of Frank M. Davis, Saul Alinsky and John McKnight. Instead, Clinton was the consummate trial-lawyer/politician, interested only in winning. Following his party’s electoral stumble, Clinton and his advisors formulated a new plan: Co-opting Republican ideas and employing a supplicant media to give Clinton credit. Bolstered by sudden media interest in Clinton’s participation in the supposedly “centrist” Democrat Leadership Council, Clinton gambled on leaving his base support in the dust for “moderate” status (“moderate” in the liberal lexicon meaning: doesn’t wear old “Che” t-shirts while jogging). The Democrats traded “you wouldn’t spend it right,” and imposing taxes on imputed rental income (they actually tried it) for “I think I raised (your taxes) too much.”

The ploy – nicknamed “triangulation” by Clinton’s cronies – worked well, and two years after the Republican Revolution, Clinton squeezed through the Oval Office door — albeit without a majority of the vote against a moribund Bob Dole — for four more years. 

October, 2010. 

4 years after the Democrats regained control of the House of Representatives, voters are again restless for a House Cleaning. Speaker Pelosi and her minions, voted into the majority with promises of “draining” the so-called “swamp,” have proved to be averse to their own word. Congressional corruption, tyrannical decrees and oblivious incompetence are the rules of the day. Working in concert with the hopelessly inept President Barack Obama, Democrats have forced fond memories of 1994. 

Unemployment has skyrocketed into double-digits. Democrat responses to economic woes have involved disastrously harebrained schemes including propping up the union-ruined American auto industry, bailing out democrat-friendly Wall Street necktie pirates like Goldman Sachs, and protecting liberal sugar daddies through the passage of the DISCLOSE Act. However, before running back to their districts to try and save their jobs, they did manage to put a stop to one of the most fearsome threats to our national peace of mind: loud television commercials.

 The stage is set for a 1994-kind of historic election day. And despite their increasingly shrill assaults on Tea Party conservatives and increasingly desperate exoneration — or willful ignorance – of their own fellow travelers’ failures, liberals are worried about a new threat:  President Obama may lurch to the right “Clinton ’94” style. 

On Saturday, one of the “diarists” riding the Dailykos.com intellectual short bus began shrieking:

“No matter what happens this November, we know what will be at least one aspect of the corporate media’s response: they will tell us that President Obama and the Democrats must move more to the center…”

He needn’t worry his 750cc cranium. Even if Obama wanted to emulate the Democrat-still-most-likely-to-grope-an-intern and “triangulate,” his math just isn’t good enough. Obama is a cult member, a wide-eyed aficionado of far-left Kool-Aid who’s been spoon fed by liberal sommeliers like Alinsky for decades. 

They’re worried about the “corporate media” pushing Obama to the right?  Which media might this be?  I somehow doubt Obama is going to log onto Mr. Livingston’s Letter and suddenly realize the Reverend Wright has it wrong. 

But there’s the rub. While the Democrats may not have to moonwalk backwards from an electoral Barbarossa come November, they’re going to feel the sting. And while Obama’s incompetence increasingly rivals former-worst-president-in-modern-history Jimmy Carter, I urge you to forget 1994, and consider 1980, and 2012. 

In 1980, faced with the thunderous approach of Ronald Reagan, Carter barely survived an intramural coup. In 2012, the Democrats will certainly consider sending Obama to the ash heap for someone they consider a winner. And this time around, Reagan is a bittersweet memory for conservatives.

Santayana was right:  “Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it."  A word to the wise should be sufficient.

With Liberty And Justice For Some

Just under a month ago, patriots filled the space in front of the Lincoln Memorial for a demonstration.

Fronted by conservative icons Glenn Beck and erstwhile Vice Presidential candidate Sarah Palin, the Restoring Honor rally was massive. And when I say massive, I’m talking Rosie O’Donnell visiting the Twinkie factory massive.

The Democrat leadership quailed at the sight of a half-million spirited citizens standing up to be counted in opposition to the increasingly unhinged tyranny which President Barack Obama vomits down upon us from on high. Even the most desperately thorazine-deficient mainstream media outlets couldn’t deny the taxpaying muscle on full display.

Instead, they turned to the rhetorically geriatric tactic of reading Democrat Party authored hate speech memos mocking the intelligence of the Tea Partiers, calling attendees racist, and in a couple of cases, manufacturing laughably fictional tales of diabolical doings on the part of those opposed to Democrat dominance.

And then the Left decided to try and play with the varsity. A group which calls itself “One Nation Working Together” — in reality the usual collaboration of thugs like the Service Employees International Union, racist hate groups like La Raza, and even the artists formerly known as the NAACP (more accurately acronymed the NAACK — National Association for the Advancement of Cop Killers), announced a plan to hold a “One Nation” rally on the same real estate occupied by their foes.

Wingnuts nationwide polished their tinfoil hats and downloaded all the latest talking points so they could join in the hatefest. Then… they no-showed. Perhaps lower-echelon liberals didn’t want to miss out on their local ACORN chapter’s “How to steal votes and influence hookers” seminar.

Whatever the reason, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi’s minions are rushing headlong toward an electoral Little Big Horn; and compared to the Restoring Honor turnout, Saturday’s ironically-monikered “One Nation” rally was a Pop Warner consolation game played next door to the Super Bowl.

Among the top-of-the-bottom-rung orators who cracked One Nation’s big can of crazy: MSNBC 4th-stringer Ed Schultz. Ed howled with indignation. He shrieked at the top of his lungs. He sweated butter (Ed should consider his health). He thundered like he’d just been informed that Martha Coakley had been whipped by Scott Brown again.

Granted, picking on poor Eddie is like swatting a fly with an AC-130. But even I couldn’t devise the sharpest blow Ed suffered as a result of his rage during the One Nation circus. According to The Daily Caller’s Matthew Boyle, those few foot soldiers of the left who did sneak out of their parents’ basements reacted to Schultz’s barbaric yawp with bewilderment.

They had no idea who he was. The 4th pitcher in creepshow channel MSNBC‘s starting rotation — who guaranteed he could personally deliver a crowd as large as Restoring Honor — and he was as well received as Al Gore at a convention of narcoleptic coal miners.

Meanwhile, the biggest gunners in the Democrat brigade apparently forgot to load their weapons. The labor union schutzstaffel SEIU was supposed to bring busloads of purple-shirted storm troopers to cheer their fuehrers forward. And while the goons did leave a carpeting of familiar purple signs and more litter than a second-rate carnival, their numbers were as underwhelming as a speed-dating session at which all the bachelorettes are Janet Napolitano doppelgangers.

For such sensitive folk, they certainly did their part to justify the wages of the park cleanup crews. Perhaps the SEIU thought resurfacing the Mall in purple Astroturf would be good for recruiting. Or maybe they didn’t think there would be enough senior citizens on whom they could pound.

The Reverend Al Sharpton was there, along with fellow professional huckster Rev. Jesse Jackson. Evidently, neither of their regular congregations was able to…. ooh… awkward. Also in attendance were some of the folks Democrats would rather had stayed in their yurts, like the Communist Party USA. (Yes, Virginia, they do exist).

By Monday night, Schultz was back in his cage at MSNBC, apparently suffering from some kind of exertion-related delusion. He claimed the One Nation freak show was equal in size to the Restoring Honor rally, although pictures of the two shown side-by-side reveal a discrepancy larger than the population of a medium-sized city, or medium-security Federal penitentiary (not that a One Nation attendee would know anything about that).

But the best comment of the day honors have to go to our pal Al (Sharpton):

“This is what America looks like.”

Communists, racists, thugs, union filth and wingnut media “entertainers?”

Um… Al? Please tell Ed: you guys really need to get Outside the Asylum more often.

Right On Target

When firearms enthusiasts get to chatting about their favorite subject, bystanders might as well get comfortable. I routinely enjoy these discussions, if only to see guys nicknamed “Da’ GunZlinger” use “milliradian” in a sentence.

Over the weekend, I participated in one such impromptu panel of citizens. The original topic was “best scopes for a new AR rifle” (my suggestion: learn to shoot well with iron sights, then spend as much on optics as your wife will on that next pair of shoes she’s only going to wear once). True to form, the conversation trended toward liberal assaults on the Bill of Rights. One poster mentioned an interesting development in New Jersey, where State Senator Jeff Van Drew has introduced a bill to ease the burden on Garden Staters who wish to legally carry their firearms.

The bill is far from ideal; among its tenets is a requirement that New Jersey residents who wish to carry pay an annual fee of $500. However, closer examination of S2264 reveals some noteworthy details. 

I am troubled by the annual levy of $500. This is the United States of America, not the Pelosi Palisades Golf and Racquet Club. There is no membership fee in the Bill of Rights. In fact, the Constitution itself says so — most recently in the text of the 24th Amendment. The idea that any government, whether Federal, State or municipal, would apply an onerous charge to the exercising of a citizen’s rights is beyond repellent. 

But there are some aspects of Van Drew’s bill which pique my interest in a positive manner. Surprisingly, Van Drew is a Democrat, although I’m guessing he’s a bit lonely at party conventions. And his bill would begin rectifying New Jersey’s heavy-handed carry laws.

Under current law, seekers must convince their local police chief AND a superior court judge of dire “justifiable need” for a carry permit. Not to seem impolitic, but if the need in question is that justifiable, it’s probably too late to track down Sheriff Andy and Judge Roy Bean. Leave it to a liberal to put that point into perfect perspective by missing the mark entirely. According to Bryan Miller, Executive Director of some wingnut group called Ceasefire NJ:

"It’s very simple: Do we want to be standing in line at a grocery store, at a movie theater, sitting next to someone… not knowing whether that person is legally carrying a handgun?"

Um… that would be a resounding YES. Mr. Miller, I LOVE the idea of every half-baked crackhead, mugger, thug and villain having that exact question weighing on their minds. 

Currently, the Garden State requires fingerprinting and background checks for each handgun purchased, whether the purchaser intends to carry it — or use it to prop up the coffee table. And shooters had better plan ahead if they intend to go pop a few off at the range. During transport, each pistol must be placed, unloaded, in a fastened case and carried in the trunk of a vehicle. If the vehicle has no trunk, the unloaded handgun must be kept in a locked box out of reach of passengers. “See here, Mr. Carjacker. If you would kindly wait for me to unlock my trunk…” 

President Barack Obama’s “home” state of Illinois has among the most restrictive carry permit laws in the nation. And yet, when it comes to violent crimes per/100,000 population, the margin between the Sultanate of the Sainted Community Activist and Tony Soprano-ville isn’t exactly crosshair-thin, with Illinois suffering nearly 200 more annually per/100K. Washington, D.C., which has gun ownership laws nearly as restrictive as the Third Reich, would be a runaway No. 1 if it was a State, with nearly double the rate of any State. NJ-S2264 would set about correcting that extraordinarily bad math. 

Some might suggest that S2264 is a poor piece of politics. It adds unnecessary and illegal fees, layers of bureaucracy and will come nowhere near undoing the injustice current laws visit upon the law-abiding citizens of New Jersey.

But this is New Jersey — the reputed final resting place of Jimmy Hoffa. And in the last year, citizens have chosen Chris Christie as their Governor and now a Democrat State Senator is taking a chisel to the liberal wall around the Garden State.

Let’s look on the bright side and call S2264 a baby step in the right direction.

The Red Carpet For Mustapha

Perhaps the most oft-repeated slogan of the War on Terror is “…fight them there so we don’t have to fight them here.” Irrefutable logic when weighed against the designs of every two bit desert-dwelling nut job with a B-40 and a dream.

But what happens if the aforementioned nut job already has the B-40 (or 500 pounds of ammonium nitrate) and the dream; but isn’t dwelling in the desert? What if he’s in Detroit, or downtown Manhattan? What if he’s currently touring an installation run by the very people sworn to protect the lives, liberty and property he and his fellow villains threaten?

On the outskirts of McLean, Va. — a stone’s throw from our nation’s capitol — lies a theoretically ultra-secure facility called the National Counter Terrorism Center. In theory, the NCTC is the heart of America’s efforts to ensure that threats to American safety don’t come to fruition. Not far down the road from the NCTC is a facility much better known to many Americans — the FBI training center at Quantico. The NCTC and FBI’s Quantico facility would seem to be the sorts of places which terrorists only view through the meal slots in their interrogation cell doors.

Imam Sheik Kifah Mustapha has seen both, and with a Federal tour guide courteously offering answers to his reportedly detailed questions; and as revealed in recent reports by outlets including WLS-Chicago (which sent a reporter along), Mustapha got the grand tour of the nerve centers of our side of the War on Terror at the invitation of the guys his pals have sworn to set down toes-up.

Mustapha is a member of the terrorist group HAMAS. While most Americans are aware of HAMAS’s violent assaults on Israel, fewer are aware that HAMAS has earned a place of honor on the State Department’s list of Foreign Terrorist Organizations. While the FBI doesn’t think too highly of HAMAS’s ability to execute attacks on American soil, FBI Director Robert Mueller told Congress:

“Of all the Palestinian groups, HAMAS has the largest presence in the U.S. with a robust infrastructure, primarily focused on fundraising… its U.S. network is theoretically capable of facilitating acts of terrorism in the U.S.”

So, while HAMAS is content to treat America as an ATM, they can blow the bank up when their checks start getting stamped “NSF.”

Enter Imam Mustapha, our erstwhile FBI/NCTC visitor. A former operative with the now-defunct HAMAS cover group the Holy Land Foundation, Mustapha, who now runs the Bridgeview Mosque Foundation outside Chicago, is one of the unindicted co-conspirators in the case which proved to be the undoing of the HLF. And Mustafa was at the NCTC as an invited guest during the recent six-week FBI Citizen’s Academy, a part of our government’s Muslim outreach effort.

What’s next?

“Welcome to Ft. Meade, Mr. bin Laden. If you look to your left, you’ll see the main ECHELON servers. Just past that, you’ll see a photograph of… you.”

There are more than a billion Muslims on the planet. There are nearly 2 million Muslims in the United States. Surely, the FBI could have hosted a follower of the Prophet who doesn’t spend his time raising money for terrorists who advocate the extermination of the Jews.

Is there even a questionnaire?

“All right, Mr. Mustapha. Are you a citizen of the United States?”
“Yes.”
“Have you ever been convicted of a felony?”
“No.”
“Have you ever blown up a civilian target in the name of Islam?”
“Me? No. (heh-heh.)”
“Do you now, or have you ever advocated the annihilation of Israel and its supporters?”
“ALLAHU AKBAR, YES! I MEAN… No? Damn! That one always gets me.”

Mustapha’s resume contains warning flags big enough to cover the Dome of the Rock. Beyond his service to terrorist backers at the HLF, he also maintains close ties with the Council on American-Islamic Relations, a group which shares his “unindicted co-conspirator” designation from the HLF trial. In fact, reading the list of reasons why Mustapha’s visit to FBI facilities ought to involve shackles takes longer than a President Barack Obama press conference during a teleprompter malfunction.

Some will claim this piece has a distinct anti-Muslim bias and point to Tim McVeigh, or Eric Rudolph. But I contend in response that The Council on American-Creepy Loner Relations has a short membership roster and extremely limited funding, not to mention a God-awful acronym.

Clearly, neither McVeigh nor Rudolph is ever going to tour the FBI’s most sensitive facilities. But Mustapha has. Quite a few of his “religion of peace” compatriots openly promise nefarious plans for us. Allow me to suggest we not show the perpetrators of such abominations the location of the off switch for our terrorism alarm.

As Seen on TV

Fox News recently reported White House Science Advisor John Holden was urging people to cease using the phrase “global warming” and instead use “global climate disruption.”

Brilliant. Rather than acknowledge that the completely discredited global warming industry was headed out to intellectual sea with the rest of the political sewage, President Barack Obama was resorting to the timeworn trick of repackaging an old product. I could simply have observed how well that plan worked for everything from Hillary Clinton’s presidential campaign to General Motors, but then I mused: Why not help?

Perhaps what liberalism needs isn’t a one-way ticket to Mao’s mausoleum. Perhaps a little polish might restore the luster to the fading ideology of hypocritical tyranny. After all, it worked for Stalin, right? Errr — it might be useful in getting those unsightly rings off the coffee table. Plus, Billy Mays has passed on, so a Democrat Party infomercial is right out.

So I have undertaken the Herculean task of coming up with all new slogans for some of the tarnished bastions of left-wing politics. I’ve tried to put a happy face on the fear-mongering which has befallen much of the Left’s front line, while at the same time restoring the honesty which all too often is as foreign to liberals as a good punch line is to a Whoopi Goldberg standup routine.

To wit:

Global Warming. So-called anthropogenic global warming is in all likelihood the most successful junk science in human history. Much like phrenology or heliocentric astronomy, global warming is a theory which merely fits the observable facts.

Recent discoveries that major global warming “scientists” were falsifying their “data” nailed the lid down. High-profile backing of breathtakingly stupid Hollywood celebrities like Laurie David and uber-hypocrite Al Gore has finished off one of the farthest-reaching scientific scams since cold fusion was “discovered” 20 years ago:

  • ManBearPig is REAL! We’re super-duper SERIAL!
  • The power of imagination.
  • Is it hot in here, or is it… OH MY GOD!
  • Science? We don’t need no stinking science!
  • You say “summer.” We say “RUN!”
  • We can’t believe we get paid to do this, either.
  • Can everyone on Dailykos be wrong?
  • It’s Bush’s fault.

MSNBC. The destination cable outlet for Democrat National Committee talking points, MSNBC has been circling the bowl since Keith Olbermann led the charge to turn their primetime lineup into a bizarro-world version of Fox News. Desperately jealous “personalities” vent frustration and rage at their conservative betters, occasionally lapsing into fits of almost comical hysteria. It has apparently never occurred to GE management that the talentless nails-on-a-blackboard shrieking of Obama-cheerleader Matthews, the buffoonish Olbermann, Olbermann’s “mini-me” Maddow and mouth-breathing thug Ed Schultz might be the reason the channel’s entire primetime lineup can’t match the ratings of a single hour of Fox programming:

  • We love it here! (Please help us. We’re trapped in Keith’s basement.)
  • Sorry your remote broke.
  • If it’s even remotely related to reality — you’re probably watching VH1 again.
  • When Ed says “voter fraud is cool” he means that in a good way.
  • Like Fox News without all those high-calorie facts.
  • We promise, Olbermann’s only an hour.
  • Yes, Maddow looks like that on purpose.
  • Liberal talking points — we don’t write ‘em, we just read ‘em.
  • FEEL THE TINGLE!
  • It’s Bush’s fault.

The New York Times. Once the nation’s — if not the world’s — de-facto newspaper of record, The Times has descended into the depths of leftist illegitimacy. The “Gray Lady” is now a pale shadow of her former self, regurgitating Democrat talking points as actual news, occasionally without even rewording the releases. The plagiarism and fake reportage scandals of the last decade finally ended any pretense of credibility:

  • Remember us?
  • We were cool before email.
  • We were cool before mail mail.
  • You have to go somewhere during Department of State attacks on Drudge.
  • Print is so relevant!
  • So much more than Jayson Blair.
  • Check out our Pulitzers!
  • All the talking points fit to print.
  • Like the USA Today, without those distracting colors.
  • It’s Bush’s fault.

CNN. The world’s first global cable news network started slowly, but hit its stride during the First Gulf War. Sadly, liberal influence, led by former owner Ted Turner, forced CNN into an inevitable decline. While CNN hasn’t faced the same abysmal ratings as the tinfoil-hat-brigadiers at MSNBC, even the departure of Turner has failed to resurrect the once-proud network. The continued presence of weak personalities like erstwhile game show host Anderson Cooper and howling lunatic Jack Cafferty keeps CNN from shedding the “Clinton News Network” moniker it earned in the ’90s:

  • We used to be awesome.
  • Darth Vader does our voice-overs.
  • Like us, or we’ll send Carville to your house.
  • We’re so tired. So very, very tired.
  • Ted Turner has left the building.
  • Our ratings are still better than MSNBC’s.
  • It’s Bush’s fault.

Nancy Pelosi. Our current Speaker of the House rose to prominence after Dick Gephardt finally decided it was someone else’s turn to quarterback Washington D.C.’s intellectual junior varsity. This furious harridan lives in Catherine The Great-style wealth and comfort, but believes that the rest of us should live in Catherine The Great’s servants-style squalor. Much like the aforementioned Empress of All the Russias, Pelosi relates to normal people the way normal people relate to leper colonies. Pelosi also serves as a caution to those who might consider going the Leona Helmsley plastic surgery route. The mere idea of Pelosi’s proximity to the Oval Office is enough to make brave men quail. It will indeed be a sight watching her trying to get re-accustomed to the title of House Minority Leader:

  • Blinking is overrated.
  • Draining the swamp, one thimble at a time.
  • The miracle of Botox®.
  • I love poor people! They keep my houses clean!
  • It’s Bush’s fault.

Harry Reid. Pelosi’s Senatorial counterpart, Reid is the perfect foil for a shrill harpy like Pelosi. Despite reportedly having once been a boxer, Reid is small, weak-chinned and probably adept at standing in the ladies’ department holding his wife’s purse:

  • Compared to Obama, I’m John McCain.
  • Compared to Pelosi, I’m Barry Goldwater.

John Kerry. America woke up just in time:

  • Yooooou raaaang?

Al Gore. After losing the 2000 Presidential contest despite some exceptionally creative Democrat-engineered voter fraud, the wooden-faced and stiff-necked Gore has spent the last decade in an almost tragicomic attempt to re-establish himself as someone of note. After winning an Oscar for the world’s most inconvenient slide show, Gore continued to trot across the globe, lecturing the masses on the perils of global warming — oops — global climate disruption — while simultaneously leaving carbon footprints the size of Yankee Stadium:

  • PAY ATTENTION TO ME!
  • Do the bolts in my neck show?
  • Have Oscar, will travel (by private jet)!
  • RRRRRAAARRRRRRR! FIRE! BAAAAAAD!

John Edwards. An almost archetypical personal injury lawyer, Edwards built an eight-figure fortune exploiting the sick, injured and grieving, including one case in which he claimed to be channeling the spirit of a dead fetus (despite being pro-abortion). After Dick Cheney cleaned his clock in a 2004 Vice Presidential debate, Edwards staged a political comeback which derailed spectacularly when the National Enquirer busted him for an affair with a paid campaign contractor who bore him a child:

  • (singing)… The kid is not my son! (It IS my daughter, however.)
  • I am dedicated to ending the disparity between rich and… AMBULANCE!
  • I feel pretty! Oh so pretty!
  • Are they still hiring for a new Breck Girl?

The Ground Zero Mosque. The political hot-button issue of the summer of 2010, the Ground Zero Mosque was backed by shady finances and fronted by a Sharia-spouting Imam with an unfortunate track record of supporting the 9/11 attackers. Liberals leapt to the defense of the GZM in the name of the same religious freedom they would deny 9-year-olds who want to bow their heads in silent prayer before school:

  • Jihad, American Style!
  • Join us Fridays for Osama’s Greatest Hits, followed by bingo!
  • When we say “Allahu!” you say “Akbar!”

Barack Obama. So many failures, so little bandwidth. Elected on a wave of manufactured acclaim and old-fashioned race baiting, the former “community activist” has proven to be farther out of his depth than a kid wearing water wings swimming above the Mariana Trench. Backed by a rogue’s gallery of left-wing hate groups like the Service Employees International Union and the New Black Panther Party, Obama is plumbing depths of ineptitude unseen since the Carter Administration. Even Democrat Party candidates are showing signs of “losing the President’s number.” Despite desperate boosting by mainstream media sycophants and far-left-liberals, support for Obama is beginning to falter like a two-pack-a-day smoker in the 10th mile of a marathon:

  • Like Carter, except I don’t hate Jews that much.
  • Quiet, or Michelle will hear you.
  • What can brown do for you?
  • I can’t believe nobody noticed I lifted my campaign strategy from The Distinguished Gentleman.
  • It’s this or President Joe Biden.
  • I’m not asking you — I’m TELLING you.
  • Kenya… Hawaii… what’s the difference?
  • It’s Bush’s fault.
  • Did I mention it’s Bush’s fault?

This is by no means a comprehensive list. Obviously, there are many more leading lights of liberalism in need of an image makeover. Sadly, space and bandwidth limitations constrict my ability to offer assistance to every one of the travelers on the port side of American politics. More to the point — Mr. Livingston would probably prefer I not compose an Encyclopedia Britannica-esque compendium.

I leave it to you, my friends, my countrymen, my fellow Livingstonians to carry on.

Day At The Improv

Stephen Colbert is a funny guy. Granted, his program is a comedic shiv in the conservative movement’s kidneys, but a good joke is still a good joke.

Colbert is a rare breed amongst lefties, a comedian who is actually funny. Compared to lowbrow liberal court jesters like Mike Malloy, Colbert is funnier than Mahmoud Ahmadinejad promising to whip the Marine Corps in a game of “catch the cruise missile.”

However, Colbert should stick to Comedy Central. What we saw him do last week while “testifying” in front of Congress wasn’t funny, it was… weirdly captivating, like watching a car wreck, or Bill Clinton sitting down for an interview with Pat Robertson on The 700 Club.

There’s a time and a place for comedy; and testifying in front of the U.S. House of Representatives is neither. The goings-on in the people’s house are already funny enough. But don’t pin the blame for Colbert’s standup set entirely on Colbert. He was invited to do his schtick by subcommittee chairwoman Zoe Lofgren (D-Outer Space). I would suggest Colbert should have known better. It’s not as if I’m expecting Lofgren to know, well, much.

Lofgren extended the invitation to Colbert to testify on the issue of immigrant workers. Why the eight-term incumbent from California’s 16th would settle on a stand-up/sit down comedian to render expert testimony on such a monumentally important issue might cause some to scratch their heads, but I suspect:

  1. Lofgren is a 62-year-old lawyer and former congressional aide of Swedish descent. She’s about as hip as parachute pants, but represents a demographically diverse Silicon Valley-area district. Inviting Colbert to make the kiddies laugh was an attempt to jack up her “skreet kred.”
  2. Lofgren, like most liberals who’ve been in Washington since before even parachute pants were cool, is so completely disassociated from the 300 million taxpayers who are legally in this country that she thought Colbert was an actual expert on migrant workers.
  3. Lofgren was trying to distract the public from not only the seriousness of the immigration issue at a time when the Democrat ruling elite is being seen by more and more Americans as more disconnected from normalcy than Lindsay Lohan on the back end of a five-day bender; but also from the disastrous events of earlier in the week when a Democrat legislative ploy fell flatter than a Bill Maher punch line.

The third answer is the one which should raise your eyebrows. The Lofgren/Colbert comedy hour took place on Friday. Three days prior, Senate Democrats had tried to grant amnesty to illegal immigrants by attempting to bootleg the DREAM ACT across the legislative border under the blanket of the National Defense Reauthorization Act. The GOP spotted the subterfuge and filibustered, forcing the Democrats to turn to their trusty mainstream media for response, breathlessly pointing out that a repeal of the Clinton-era Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell was also pinned to the tail of the NDRA donkey.

Despite headlines decrying alleged GOP-sponsored discrimination, the story went toes-up fairly quickly, its demise hastened by Colbert’s dog-and-pony show Friday morning. But hidden behind Friday’s fracas was the real story: The Democrats tried to pull a fast one, failed; turned out the mainstream media to cover them, failed; and then brought in a comedian to divert attention from their profligate elitism, and failed. By late Friday, even Democrats were claiming Lofgren’s stunt was an outrageous ploy by a rogue representative.

What they weren’t doing was acknowledging that they’d tried to pull a fast one and then bumbled helplessly until Colbert mercifully, albeit (hopefully) unwittingly, rescued them with his antics.

The influx of illegal immigrants is a serious issue, one which deserves serious response. The Democrats have attacked (the Department of Justice v Arizona), defamed (throwing the race card at anyone who stands against amnesty), and dishonored the nation (including AZ1070 in a human rights report to the United Nations). Now, with the Lofgren/Colbert report, they’re simply mocking not only the contentious issue of immigration reform, but also the overwhelming majority of Americans who contend the issue bears consideration.

As for the Democrat attempts as distraction, I maintain that distracting Congress from legislating is like distracting a dog from chewing on the furniture — or chewing on your kids.

But the Colbert disaster was a good look at the general tenor of the Democrat Party, 2010: Confronted by major economic, foreign policy and immigration predicaments of their own creation, they’re doing improv shows during business hours.

The Company You Keep

Georgia’s 12th Congressional District comprises 220 or so gerrymandered miles of economically and demographically heterogeneous land which includes everything from onion farms to America’s fifth largest port. The person who serves this diverse constituency, noted by the Cook Partisan Voting Index as being D+1 (listing slightly to port), is currently a wealthy trial lawyer named John Barrow.

Barrow himself is a fairly inconsequential fellow. Of his three successful campaigns for the House, two were decided by margins narrower than his shoulders. Pro-abortion group NARAL has given him a 100 percent rating; but he voted against major liberal initiatives like Obamacare and Cap and Trade.

In an effort to maintain his grasp on the good life afforded House members, Barrow horse-trades like the guy in the green eyeshade in a John Wayne movie; swapping votes for Nancy Pelosi for the power to pacify his more conservative constituents during Obama’s periodic assaults on their lives. To put a fine point on it: Barrow is everyone’s pal, but nobody’s friend.

The urbane Barrow is certainly not someone you’d expect to find skulking around the urban alleys of New York City. Indeed, it’s hard to picture the bespectacled Barrow, who’s whiter than Dennis Kucinich singing Conway Twitty tunes in a Branson karaoke bar, leaping out of his limo to hang with the homeboys who call Harlem home. So imagine my surprise when the ethics imbroglio surrounding comically corrupt Charles Rangel of New York’s 15th Congressional District (PVI: D+43 — more liberal than David Paterson’s “girlfriends”) managed to ensnare the pasty-faced Congressman from South Georgia.

For his part, Rangel has — ahem — allegedly committed a list of offenses which stretch from the Apollo Theatre to Augusta National. He has remained near the top of the D.C. heap despite even President Barack Obama reacting to his ethics scandals by suggesting he should “end his career with dignity.” During four decades in Washington, Rangel has salted away quite a pile, and has subsequently spread the wealth to far-flung congressional corners — including Southeast Georgia.

You read that correctly. The putrescence of liberalism extends from 125th Street all the way to the Savannah River. With a nod to The Bard via Charles D. Warner — politics does indeed make strange bedfellows. According to a Tuesday report in the Savannah Morning News, Barrow has been on the receiving end of Rangelian largesse since 2004 and has no intention of ridding himself of the repellent stink of Rangel’s rewards. To date, Barrow has cashed checks from the Regent of Riker’s Island totaling $24,000. And according to Barrow spokesmodel Jane Brodsky, he’s keeping the cash:

Congressman Barrow is not going to make a symbolic gesture based on contributions he received in past election cycles that were spent a long time ago.”

Truth be told, there’s not much point in Barrow dumping Rangel’s tainted treasure. With another nod to The Bard: that spot ain’t comin’ out in the wash. By refusing to divest himself of Rangel’s 24 grand, the supposedly Blue Dog Barrow has cast his lot with the far left of the liberal establishment.

Obama might call this sort of thing a “teachable moment.” Barrow, who is facing opposition from Ray McKinney (who sports an endorsement from the increasingly powerful Tea Party), may be in for a wild ride to November. While Real Clear Politics data suggest Barrow’s seat is safe, there are no polls which indicate an approval rating at or above 50 percent.

In an off-year election in which Democrats not only won’t have the benefit of Obama’s coattails, but would rather skip and go naked than huddle under the President’s hide, Barrow likely needs every nickel. Here’s the rub: when word of Barrow’s canoodling with Rangel gets back to Peach State voters, how much political vigorish will Barrow owe on the loan?

Barrow has played both sides of the fence for long enough to hold on to his seat on the back bench of the House, but has made little headway in terms of noteworthiness, much less notoriety. While he has a sizeable financial edge over McKinney, association with a wire-pulling reprobate like Rangel may cost him a great deal more than a lousy double-dozen large. And it raises fair questions about the Democrats’ direction.

Barrow’s financial fraternization with Rangel is apt allegory for the larger issues surrounding the Democrat Party in 2010. What happened to Pelosi “draining the swamp?” Where is the end of the liberal culture of corruption? And if I hold Barrow up to a 40-watt bulb, can I see where his spine is supposed to be?

According to Brodsky:

"(Barrow) has neither received nor accepted any contributions after allegations of (Rangel’s) ethical impropriety arose."

Barrow the Blue Dog and Rangel the snake — different ends of the same donkey.

The Hamburger Of Hypocrisy

Call it “televised serendipity”:  A moment in which two members of the Democrat Party leadership get together and reveal the political deformities which have turned the “big tent” into a circus sideshow. Under normal circumstances — a President Barack Obama press conference, for example — the groveling sycophants in the corporate media allow these boors to babble on without interruption.

While Americans with IQs above the intellectual Mendoza line simply tune out, most liberals remain enraptured, downloading the latest talking points, feverishly anticipating their next opportunity to regurgitate the drivel with the kind of self-importance otherwise reserved for sociopaths and trial lawyers. On occasion, however, more than one of the liberal ruling elite top-rung types end up sharing the same patch of real estate — and then we have to watch as they fog up our screens with unbridled expressions of love for each other — and scorn for the rest of us.

One of those serendipitous moments presented itself late last week, when fleshy filmmaker Michael Moore visited the set of liberal rat-terrier Bill Maher’s Real Time. While both are fairly high-ranking members of the DNC elite, neither is apparently aware that the zaftig Moore makes Rosie O’Donnell look like the “after” picture in a Weight Watchers commercial while Maher is only slightly funnier than an 8-car pileup on the expressway.

Such lack of awareness might explain how these two stooges could have a conversation in which Moore opined:

“…people like Gingrich and Palin? You know, because they’re essentially our mullahs, you know, our Taliban. Hey, how about that McDonald’s two blocks from Ground Zero, Bill?  That’s killed more people than the 19 hijackers…”

Evidently, I missed the nationwide APB for the Hamburglar on Sept. 12.

That’s right, kids — the mammoth movie maker says that Speaker Gingrich, Governor Palin and Egg McMuffins are more sinister than Islamofascism. Perhaps he simply prefers the Whopper to the Big Mac. But the idea that Moore would heave his Brobdingnagian bulk into frame and equate Mayor McCheese with militant Muslims has to be a new low-water mark for the liberal ruling class.

Maher and his carefully screened audience reacted with that smarmy snicker that the Democrats apparently teach in wingnut school. No one noted that the elephantine Moore, who helmed the camera for some of the most deservedly discredited “documentaries” since Leni Riefenstahl was making 8mm loops of Hitler doing the goose step shuffle, might be stretching his minimal credibility farther than the weakening waistband on his jockey shorts.

The good news for those of us with cerebral cortices larger than garlic knots: in addition to being shortchanged in the intellect and talent departments, the liberal ruling elite possess the subtlety of the cast of an MTV reality show. Moore and Maher’s get together was filmed in front of a live studio audience and broadcast to every household which subscribes to HBO.

For those of you who lament the lack of political acumen displayed by America’s peach fuzz generation, millions of viewers, er… thousands, um… hundreds, ah… dozens, ok… more kids saw the gargantuan gasbag Moore compare Newt Gingrich, Sarah Palin and their beloved Ronald McDonald unfavorably with the Taliban than have ever sat through more than a few moments of Chris Matthews nightly tingle-time. They also observed Maher, the junior varsity Jon Stewart, laugh along with the oleaginous auteur without noting that to date, no Fry Guy has ever taken so much as a single flying lesson, much less tried to carry a box cutter onto a commercial jet.

These are the people who have taken over the Democrat Party. These are the people who launch invective at Limbaugh, Beck and Hannity. These are the people who call us racists for opposing — or even daring to question — the Obama agenda. These are the people who opened verbal fire on Christine O’Donnell (who once graced Maher with her presence) mere hours after her ground-shaking victory in Delaware. These are the people who would demand you execrate Sarah Palin while exalting Nancy Pelosi.

At a time when the Democrat party has plunged the country into economic ennui, flatlined our foreign relations and rendered our immigration protections inert, they offer us clowns like Moore and Maher, the haphazard and humorless Laurel and Hardy.

Moore and Maher are members of the liberal leadership so we can divine that this is the direction in which the left is leaning these days. But fret not, my friends, more and more Americans are paying attention.

Forgive me for saying so, but come November:

Ba-da-ba-ba-baaa, I’m lovin’ it.

Who’s Laughing Now?

Tuesday’s edition of The Hill featured a piece by Sam Youngman about a Presidential photo-op in fabulous Fairfax, Va. Entitled “President Obama seeks his inner Bill Clinton and feels voters’ pain,” the piece focused on a White House sojourn to the home of an upper middle class family in the aforementioned suburban enclave.

While my first thought was “at least they didn’t go back to Majorca,” a more intent perusal of the piece revealed a great deal about how our poor President has gotten so lost of late. At one point during the stop-over, Obama actually said he “feels their pain.” Bill Clinton used to say that, as well. Then the GOP dropped an electoral elephant on the Democrats in 1994. The more things “change…”

While Obama’s visit to the home of John Nicholas and Nicole Armstrong was no more or less carefully orchestrated than any other Presidential day trip, his talking points were — sadly — no more or less ludicrous than his other recent economic pronouncements.

Nicholas was noted as having “survived several layoffs at his Internet-services company,” while Armstrong has “recently returned to part-time work… to help pay the family’s bills.” So, while the President’s economic ineptitude has pushed the unemployment rate toward Carter-era numbers, the President went to a hoedown at a home owned by a family earning more than twice the national salary average.

Neither of his hosts is looking for work, nor are they “working” for the Census Bureau (or at any other government-backed make-work jobs the White House has been trying to sneak into the economic stew of late.) And Obama feels our pain? Obama might as well have visited a home which had recently been burglarized… and consoled the next-door neighbors.

During his photo-op, Obama also tried to tout his economic message, touching on his administration’s fight to dim the lights on Bush-era tax relief, a key point in the recent war of words the White House has been trying to wage. One White House spokesmodel suggested the Obama push to punish economic success stories by bumping up upper income tax bracket rates was:

“fight(ing) for the middle class.”

What the mouthpiece didn’t mention was the punitive nature of the Democrats’ frontal tax-assault on the nation’s leading producers. Right now, the top 25 percent of American income earners have to pull the cart for 86 percent of the IRS bill. If the margins go up, that top 25 percent (which includes nearly everyone at Obama’s Fairfax fandango) will have to spend less now to pay more in April. Even the D-students in Econ 101 can tell you taking money out of the economic reservoir lowers the level of the whole lake. More to the point: you don’t bench the varsity for running up the economic score.

But the exhaustive use of exhausted liberal justification for regressive taxes aside; Obama’s visit to the hinterlands actually got weird(er). According to the President:

“Michelle and I always laugh about it when people talk about us—I think they forget that we were basically living the same lives as John and Nicole, just it wasn’t that long ago,” Obama said. “It was, like, six, seven years ago.”

Whee, Presidential jocularity! How refreshing. I suppose we should be glad that our multi-millionaire Commander-in-Chief and his fashion plate wife can look back on their former lives of middle-class drudgery and smile. Pardon me if I don’t join in the fun there, chuckles. Remind me, Mr. Middle-class: Michelle took HOW many people along to Spain? It cost HOW MUCH? And you were dining with OPRAH that week? Then you went BACK to MARTHA’S VINEYARD?

The article dutifully noted that Obama grew up in less luxurious surroundings than the ones he was visiting on Monday (and the ones in which he currently resides). Meaning what—he’s a modern-day Horatio Alger?

I have learned to accept the essential hypocrisy of limousine liberals. But the idea of an extraordinarily wealthy man visiting reasonably wealthy supporters in order to promulgate economic policies which have not only consigned millions of Americans to far less fancy fields than Fairfax, but will also ensure few Americans can reach their level of wealth isn’t humorous; it’s horrific.

Pundits often point to the “disconnect” between Obama and the average citizen. Obama’s recent Fairfax field trip reveals something more sinister than simple separation: The President finds our plight amusing.

Laugh it up, liberals. We saw the same primary results you did. Come November, the joke’s on you.

The Thrill Is Gone

For the eighth time in what increasingly looks like will be his only term, President Barack Obama held forth at a talking point dump, aka press conference. For a man dubbed “messianic” by the liberal elite, I can’t help but notice of late, Obama looks as comfortable in front of the camera as a blind agoraphobic in Grand Central Station during rush hour. 

Watching our increasingly desperate President try to hold the attention of even the fawning sycophants who comprise the bulk of the White House Press Corps was like watching a physics professor trying on homecoming Friday to hold the attention of a lecture hall filled with frat-boy liberal arts majors.  Confronted by ABC News correspondent Jake Tapper about how Obamacare has already turned into the fiscal imbroglio Democrats denied it would be, Obama froze stiffer than Nancy Pelosi’s face on a Lake Tahoe ski lift:

“No — as I said, uh, Jacob, the — I haven’t read the entire study, uh, maybe you have.  But, uh, you know, if — if you — if what the reports are true, what they’re saying is that as a consequence of us getting 30 million additional people health care, at the margins that’s gonna increase our costs, we knew that.  We didn’t think that we were gonna cover 30 million people… for… free.

Actually, Mr. President, that’s.  Precisely.  What.  You.  Said.  While his backtracking tends to be as laughably divorced from reality as an Ed Schultz monologue, Obama’s stilted speech patterns and inexplicable “I don’t write it, I just read it” dependence on the teleprompter has actually passed funny and disembarked at creepy.  I can’t help but wonder if David Axelrod is standing behind the blue curtain with a remote control: 

“Damn it, Gibbs.  I need four AA batteries, pronto!”

Remember when this same media took such pleasure in mocking George W. Bush’s tortured enunciations?  At least we all knew that when W said “nook-you-lerr,” it wasn’t because Ari Fleischer fell asleep with his head on the keyboard. 

I thought Obama was supposed to be the smartest man alive.  During the course of the 2008 Presidential campaign, the Democrats deployed every media flack, screwball blogger and MSNBC “journalist” to extol his brilliance while excoriating anyone who dared ask: 

“Is it me, or does this guy sound like Howard Dean built a Leninbot in his basement?”

Those of us who openly questioned the acumen of the untested Illinois Senator were dismissed as racists.  Once the race card was maxed out (which happened right about the same time ultra-white boy Newsweek leftist Jonathan Alter claimed that only racism could prevent an Obama Presidency), the left began assailing doubters with Obama’s indubitable brilliance.  “He went to HARVARD.”  Um…so did the Unabomber.  For that matter, so did Al Gore.  For THAT matter — so did Bush.

Now that the Obama Express has jumped the tracks and slammed headfirst into the bridge abutment of incompetence, Democrats nationwide are booking passage to Anywhere But Obama.  Two hundred nineteen Dems voted “yea” on Obamacare.  Not one has run an ad touting their vote.

“Sure, I’m flattered that the President would like to campaign for me.  It’s just that I’m washing my hair this election.” 

The borderline-romantic yearning for the great Community Activist has faded like Bill and Hillary’s post-Monica love life.  Even plagiarist and former Bhagwan devotee Ariana Huffington’s Hollywood self-esteem builder Huffingtonpost.com can’t seem to drum up much enthusiasm, with Huffpo’s ubiquitous pseudo-academic Joseph Palermo weaving allusions to fading Obama worship into a predictable tapestry of tired Bush-bashing in a Friday piece ponderously entitled “President Obama Attempts to Bridge the ‘Enthusiasm Gap.'”  It has clearly never occurred to Professor Palermo that the Army Corps of Engineers couldn’t handle that job.

Obama’s lack of enthusiasm is beyond pathetic.  Rush Limbaugh suggested during his Friday broadcast that Obama appears impotent.  Limbaugh is underselling the problem.  There’s no little blue pill which can fix the issues in the White House. 

Whatever you want to call it, Obama’s lack of vitality is dangerous.  Islamofascism, the Service Employees International Union and Nancy Pelosi don’t let up on the throttle just because Obama’s hiding under the Resolute Desk. 

During the 2008 Presidential campaign, Democrats fired distortions, defamation and plain old venom at Sarah Palin with abandon.  Her garrulous vigor made her a far more inviting target than the man who would be her boss, John McCain.

Looking back, Obama’s verbal ineptitude (not to mention his professional incompetence) makes both McCain and Palin look positively Ciceronian by comparison.  The Democrats honestly expect us to believe Palin couldn’t have handled Joe Biden’s job?  I’m not convinced Obama can, either.

Fahrenheit 450

I remember the first time I read Ray Bradbury’s Fahrenheit 451. I was a prisoner in an 8th grade English class. I also knew I was going to be facing Ayn Rand and George Orwell, with Anthem and Animal Farm looming on the syllabus. The teacher was clearly working on a bit of a motif.

The only motif my teenage mind could discern was: “Truckload of homework.” The teacher was endeavoring to instill a more profound lesson: Literary and intellectual oppression is anathema to civilized society. For those of you who are victims of teachers’ unions: Burning books is stupid.

Burning books also doesn’t work. The anti-intellectualism of someone who would torch even Al Franken’s idiotic drivel deserves even less respect than the driveller himself. Don’t sell Al’s deepest thoughts short — there’s that wobbly leg on the coffee table, for instance. More to the point: From the Nazi Säuberung to the Fairness Doctrine, even short-lived victories in a war on knowledge always end up buried under a pile of either bodies or ballots (in the Fairness Doctrine example, a pile of Dennis Kucinich speeches).

During my internment in 8th grade English, I would gladly have siphoned gas out of my teacher’s Oldsmobile to assist an effort to rid us of the collected works of Bradbury, Rand and Orwell.

I was 13. What’s Terry Jones’s excuse?

Jones, the pastor of the incongruously-monikered Dove World Outreach Center in Gainesville, Fla., has announced that he and his congregants will be marking the ninth anniversary of the 9/11 attacks by putting the Koran to the torch. Despite cautionary notes sounded by everyone from the local fire department to General David Petraeus, Jones is going ahead with his bonfire of the inanities. Jones says he and his congregation are making a statement about standing up to the forces of terrorism embodied by the Islamofacists who flew planes into the World Trade Center, the Pentagon and a field in rural Pennsylvania.

I say Jones is playing the part of a lowbrow Macbeth (bet Jones is no fan of Shakespeare, either). By throwing his pyrotechnic tantrum, he’s offering sound and fury, but signifying very little.

Standing up to the forces of extremism and stupidity by acting in an extremely stupid manner is… extremely stupid. I have perused the Koran and remain decidedly non-Muslim (it’s a bacon thing). Nor do I have any desire to set my copy on fire, because it’s a really nice leather bound edition and I am intelligent enough to read divergent doctrine and/or opinion without being overcome with the urge to reach for a lighter (or shop for a new vest in the Semtex department).

However, Jones and his flock burning the Koran won’t further inflame the hatred of those who venerate the 9/11 hijackers. Gainesville, Fla., is also home to the University of Florida. Give an Islamofascist an eyeful of what the Gator coeds are wearing on campus and the Dove World Outreach Center might as well festoon their building with flaming Suras.

“Akbar, did you see the church in Gainesville has burned the Koran?”

“I did, Mustafa. But did you see that girl outside the student union? I COULD SEE HER ARMS ABOVE THE WRISTS!”

“THAT’S IT! DEATH TO THE INFIDELS!!”

They’ve already drawn their proverbial line in the rubble. Besides, we’re already fighting them and have been for the better part of a decade. And for the millions of Muslims worldwide who want nothing to do with the Al-Qaida/Taliban brand of Islam, most are either smart enough to recognize crazy when they see it or will shake their heads with the same sad bewilderment which I feel every time Chris Matthews starts talking about Obama-induced tingling in his lower extremities.

I suppose I should note that liberals are — predictably — trying to cast Jones and his minions as members of the “religious right.” I should subsequently direct you to the aforementioned Fairness Doctrine for an example of who the Islamofascists’ kindred spirits are on this side of the pond.

The real issue here is that Terry Jones and the Dove World Outreach Centrists are morons, albeit morons basking in their 15 minutes of fame. They don’t represent the American people, so President Obama can scrap his latest apology to nations which stone women for flashing their ankles, and MSNBC’s “hosts” can stop wringing their hands.

If you burn books, you’re just an idiot — nothing more. If you’re concerned about idiots, look for the smoke, then walk the other way.

The Fat Lady Won’t Sing

It may not have packed the emotional punch of the last chopper off the roof of the embassy in Saigon, but the word has come down from on high: The last combat troops have left the building.

Actually, I’m going to amend that last remark. A Stryker Brigade crossed the Southern Frontier between Iraq and Kuwait, marking the departure from our Mesopotamian quagmire of the last troops we’re actually CALLING “combat troops.”

We still have plenty of guys with guns in Iraq—more than 50,000—but they’re not “combat troops,” they’re “advisors.” Not to accuse the President of militaristic duplicity, but so were about a quarter million of our boys and girls who visited fabulous downtown Saigon in the 1960s.

But we’re not supposed to be treating the anointed savior with the same scrutiny with which George W. Bush and Richard M. Nixon (but not Bill Clinton) dealt. Since Barack Obama ascended the people’s throne, the corporate media doesn’t use words like “quagmire” anymore, nor do they refer to the “Vietnam of the Middle East.” Obama promised a swift withdrawal from Iraq, and he has thusly delivered—more or less. All right, less.

Nonetheless, calling everyone in digital desert camo an “advisor” means Obama gets to claim victory. And while The Associated Press noted that Obama didn’t actually claim victory in his speech last week; given that he hasn’t come out ahead in so much as a game of checkers with Bo the First Dog since he took office, hanging the metaphorical “Mission Accomplished” banner off the White House balustrade is as close as he’s going to get anytime soon. Considering the corporate media’s continued adherence to the Obama-as-savior mantra, the irony of the situation is that this undeclared “victory” was planned and executed during the demonized Bush Administration.

Perhaps that’s why Obama noted in his recent televised remarks that he called Bush prior to the telecast, and why he offered him praise during the speech. And perhaps that’s why wingnut hacks like Rachel Maddow and Bill Press (yep, he’s still alive) launched anti-Bush invective from their MSNBC pulpits in the wake of Obama’s address. If you only saw Keith Olbermann’s failed television science experiment, you might not know that the decisive troop surge which Bush put into action had ever occurred.

As House Minority Leader John Boehner (R-Ohio) pointed out in the wake of Obama’s performance:

“Over the past several months, we’ve often heard about ending the war in Iraq but not much about winning the war in Iraq,”

Boehner went on to point out that the same Democrats who fought Bush tooth and nail on every facet of the Iraq War (once they stopped supporting it) were now trying to portray themselves as latter-day Churchills, as opposed to modern-era Chamberlains.

Or perhaps Obama has finally realized what Bush knew all along. To put a fine point on it: This ain’t over. Iraq remains enough of a junkyard to make North Jersey look like the south of France. Their most recent elections are fading into memory and their government appears to be stretched to the limit catching stray dogs—and stray bullets.

Meanwhile, Obama is steeling himself to raise the proverbial roof in Afghanistan. He said during his speech that American troops could now “apply the resources necessary to go on offense” in Afghanistan, as if our troops currently engaged with al-Qaida and the vestiges of the Taliban were playing Wii and drag-racing their Bradleys before now.

No doubt our current Commander-in-Chief would love to spend the remaining time between now and Nov. 2 discussing America’s supposed Baghdad bon voyage. But as Bush knew, there’s no rest for the West Wing.

Obama must now convince a skeptical nation—and military—that not only is Iraq either in the bag or out of our shopping cart, but that the War Obama Wanted in Afghanistan is winnable under Democrat direction. Add to that the sorry state of our economy under his laughable lack of leadership and the sorry state of his party headed into what may well be an electoral Waterloo come November, and Obama may spend his fall wishing he’d saved up some sick days.

While You Were Drowning…

For those of you lucky enough to enjoy vocations which don’t require endless news and issues research, count yourselves doubly lucky that you weren’t subjected to President Barack Obama’s speech marking the fifth anniversary of Hurricane Katrina’s disastrous visit to New Orleans. Granted, Katrina was hard on the Big Easy, but five years later Obama didn’t repair any damage. He was busy doing damage control.

Speaking to an audience of college students at Xavier University, Obama rolled through his standard teleprompter-zombie applause lines:

(“it’s great to be back here in [insert city name]. What a job you all have done recovering and rebuilding from [insert disaster reference here]. I promise you I’ll do everything in my power to ensure [repeat disaster reference here] never happens again. Remember, vote for me, because I give a damn.”)

Then the President, looking remarkably refreshed after his latest vacation — this time in Martha’s Vineyard, an ultra-exclusive enclave favored by liberal millionaires, began spouting talking points which strained credulity, to say the least.

Standing in the heart of a city which was nearly wiped off the map by a combination of decades-long Democrat incompetence and corruption, a dystopic liberal culture of dependence and one mighty impressive natural disaster, the fabulously wealthy President Obama… blamed everything on President Bush.

Again.

But blame is as American a pastime as baseball. Actually, given the multisyllabic surnames dominating most Major League rosters these days, blame is right up there with Mom and apple pie. But Obama is blaming the wrong guy.

With Hurricane Earl now becoming a force to be reckoned with, and the five-year anniversary of the Democrat-engineered Katrina disaster, I thought I’d take a moment to — as the kiddies say — drop a little knowledge on you.

According to Obama, Katrina was:

"a man-made catastrophe — a shameful breakdown in government that left countless men, women and children abandoned and alone.”

Last time I checked, hurricanes are almost never man-made, despite Al Gore’s assertions. As for governmental breakdowns, the actions of Mayor Ray “Chocolate City” Nagin, and Governor Kathleen “Crocodile Tears” Blanco in the face of Mother Nature’s oncoming wrath didn’t exactly reverberate with redoubtable statesmanship. Of course, the goodly people of New Orleans re-elected their Candyman, so some of the blame for their plight can be placed on them.

Actually, quite a bit of the blame for the plight of New Orleans can be set down right on Bourbon Street. Despite the insistence of multimillionaires like Spike Lee and Kanye West, the teeming mass of destitute humanity gathered at the Superdome wasn’t consigned to their plight because “George Bush doesn’t care about black people.” Nor did the levees near the 9th Ward give way because they were secretly destroyed by Federally-placed explosives (sorry, Mr. Farrakhan).

A massive hurricane formed in the Bahamas, made its way into the Gulf of Mexico and then headed for Mardi Gras-ville. Bush actually declared a Federal state of emergency two days before Katrina’s landfall. In fact, Bush ended up having to push Louisiana’s Democrat Governor Blanco to order mandatory evacuations less than 24 hours before Katrina’s arrival, with Nagin finally ordering mandatory citywide evacuation later that day.

Beyond that, the pictures tell a far more accurate story than the Democrat-controlled corporate media would ever allow. And I’m not just talking about flooded fleets of school buses. Nor am I referring to those scenic shots of fine Orleans-ians swimming through the flooded streets with filched flat screens (although had they purloined the plasmas earlier, they might have caught the GET OUT, THERE’S A GIGANTIC FREAKIN’ HURRICANE HEADED RIGHT FOR YOU warnings blaring from the boob tube for at least 72 hours before Katrina set up shop near Lake Pontchartrain).

I’m thinking of the thousands of NOLA residents swarming together at the Superdome and adjacent convention center. After decades of voting Democrats into office, they were helpless; willingly robbed of their ability to fend for themselves beyond basic self-preservation instincts. Nagin, Blanco and the massive, overarching bureaucracy created by virtually unfettered liberal authority — granted by the electorate — had abandoned them at the crucial moment and they were prostrated before God and CNN.

Five years later, and still, according to Obama: Bush did it.

Now I’m going to throw out a heavy concept for you port-siders: Let’s assume that Bush DID do it. Let’s say he engineered a hurricane, directed it to New Orleans, dynamited the levees, ensured Blanco and Nagin would both fumble the ball on the goal line, pulled the batteries out of the NOLA buses and flooded the city.

Perhaps this is not a man with whom you want to pick a fight.

Back Inside the Asylum…

If anyone wants to shove their heads in the desert sand regarding Iran, have at it.

I’m disinclined to hand a free pass to an Islamofascist regime with a pronounced tendency to make the psych ward at Bellevue look like bingo night at the senior center. I’m similarly disinclined to believe Pollyanna-ish assurances that we have nothing to be concerned about in the wake of a line of trucks pulling into the brand-spanking new nuclear plant at Bushehr, Iran on a recent Saturday afternoon.

Sure, they were delivering uranium fuel to the terrorist regime’s new nuclear facility — but what’s a little radioactivity between friends? Plus, The Associated Press says the Russians are keeping a watchful eye on things. I’m sure we’re perfectly safe now. The town drunk has promised to watch the town sociopath while we’re out shopping for a new economy. What could possibly go wrong?

But wait — the Russians are not the only ones playing Officer Krupke when it comes to Iran’s supposedly peaceful development of the world’s most dangerous filament fertilizer.

The United Nations gave the all-clear as well. In fact, they’re claiming that the Russian-oversight plan should ease concerns about just how enriched will be the enriched uranium now clasped in the Iranian paws.

In order to function as fuel for a power plant, uranium needs to reach the 3.5 percent enrichment level. Weapons-grade uranium must be jacked up to the 90 percent level. The Iranians are already working on enriching the good stuff to a 20 percent level (for medical research, honest!)

Fret not, my friends — the Russians are going to control the fuel supply. And there’s no chance the Iranians might sneak around the corner and dump a little extra octane into the mix, right?

Even the mighty French have chimed in. The French Foreign Ministry released a statement regarding the Iranian nuclear program, saying — again — there was no real cause for alarm. Terrific — the French said the same thing about Germany and the Anschluss.

If only the Iranians were as reassuring. Leave it to one-third of the Axis of Evil to remind us that they’re… one third of the Axis of Evil. While the Russians, French and U.N. all spoke in soothing tones, the note struck by Iran was decidedly less mellifluous.

Lest we think Ahmadinejad and the rest of the Islamic Clown Posse were just playing nuclear dress-up, they also broke the news that they have tested their air defense systems around Bushehr, and have determined them to be effectively operational.

Any time a spokesterrorist “strikes a defiant tone” — trouble isn’t just in the neighborhood, it’s doing doughnuts on the lawn and TP’ing the house.

According to Iranian nuclear chief Ali Akbar Salehi:

"Despite all pressure, sanctions and hardships imposed by Western nations, we are now witnessing the startup of the largest symbol of Iran’s peaceful nuclear activities,"

The same guys who can’t finish a sentence without shrieking about the fiery death of some Zionist-capitalist-imperialist-somebody are promising to play nice with their high-yield glow sticks.

We have no intention of building nuclear weapons with this stuff we have that can be used to build nuclear weapons. We are a peaceful society, simply trying to…DEATH TO THE ZIONIST/AMERICAN INFIDELS…make it cheaper to turn on the lights.”

Let me get this straight: an Islamofascist regime is about to throw the switch on a heavily defended NUCLEAR facility, and the only assurances that they’re not going to start churning out atomic luggage for every Tom, Dick and Akbar with a saif to grind are coming from the guy who can’t get past the first step in an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting, the guy who still laughs at Jerry Lewis movies and the rejects from the carnival?

For you victims of teachers’ unions out there, Iran’s proclamations of peaceful nuclear intent are as transparent as a Lady Gaga Grammy Awards costume.

Iran sits on top of some of the most expansive oil reserves on the planet. Unconstrained by a Democrat Party bent on protecting foreign oil interests to the detriment of their own people, the Iranians can — to paraphrase Governor Sarah Palin: “Drill here and drill now.”

The AP, doing their best version of the liberal appeasement shuffle, excuses the Iranian desire for nuclear power despite being awash in enough black gold to make Jed Clampett magenta with envy by suggesting their refinery capabilities don’t match their raw material output.

Here’s a suggestion: instead of building nukes, have the Iranians considered building REFINERIES? It’s not like they have to worry about the Sierra Club showing up to demonstrate — the Sierra Club is busy pretending global warming is real. Besides, the Sierra Club is stupid, not crazy. Protesting against American oil companies earns you donations from Sean Penn. Protesting against Iranian anything earns you a bullet.

Three weeks ago, I penned “The Lapdogs Of War” for Personal Liberty Digest in which I suggested that the time had not yet arrived for war with Iran. Ham-fisted foreign policy, especially with regards to the evil-dwarf regime running the show in Tehran makes a concerted military effort dubious at best.

In a hypothetical conflict, the United States vs. Iran would be shorter than Ahmadinejad without the lifts in his shoes. Sadly, the fact that Obama has alternated between apologizing to murderous dictatorships for the American pursuit of freedom and cowering like a frightened 5-year-old in a thunderstorm every time one of these tin pots starts banging his cymbals together assures we would end up bogged down in the mother of all Mesopotamian quagmires.

However, while our current ruling elite may have brought back the idiotic foreign policy malaise of Jimmy Carter, who was such a sniveling knot head when it came to dealing with global hostilities that his biggest military engagement was a loss in the Battle of the Chattahoochee Bunny; there is an alternative: Israel.

Now, I know many of my fellow Bob Livingstonians consider allowing Israel off the leash to be anathema at best, but consider the alternatives. Our current ruling elite is less likely to lead a successful military effort than House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif.) is to turn down free Botox®. And given the green light on turning Bushehr into an even more inhospitable sandbox than it already is, Israel would light these guys up like a Menorah on… whatever day it is that a Menorah is fully lit.

When Saddam Hussein tried to enact his original nuclear ambitions, Israel hit the off switch at Osirak (built, perhaps tellingly, by the French) with a sledgehammer, killing the Iraqis’ chances at debuting the world’s first atomic arsenal in the hands of a complete lunatic (not counting Stalin, Khrushchev, Brezhnev, Andropov, Chernenko and Xiaoping.) Iran has already admitted plans to construct an additional dozen nuclear plants in mountain strongholds.

Iran has also repeatedly promised the complete destruction of Israel. Iran ALSO has missiles which put Tel Aviv well within range. Israel has no problem kicking hostile Islamofascist regimes in the teeth. Given their track record in that area, they’re pretty good at it.

A pre-emptive Israeli strike on Bushehr might lead to open warfare in the Middle East. A nuclear-armed Iran will, by its own admission, almost certainly lead to open warfare in the Middle East. The former might well involve American money. The latter might well involve American lives. Combining the possibility that Iranian aggression may well be backed by Russian and/or Chinese men and materiel with Obama’s weak-kneed tendencies, a nuclear-armed Iran could well spell Big Trouble in Little Tehran.

Iran has stepped up its schedule with surprising speed. In addition to the Bushehr reactor, they also used the weekend to debut a new Qiam-1 medium range missile and even capped off their Sunday with a ceremony to introduce the world to an unmanned bomber which Ahmadinejad dubbed their “ambassador of death.”

Given the Iranian regime’s rhetoric, when they can start trying to dictate the terms of the nuclear conversation, they will. I’d rather gamble with Israeli lives than our own. And with our current Commander-in-Chief more interested in engaging Arizona law enforcement than Islamofascist terrorism, the odds on the table are nowhere near worth our chips.

Perhaps most telling of all: I considered offering this piece to President Obama for comment, but he was on vacation… again.

Refusing The Dream

Examples of Democrat duplicity are so common that it has become clichéd to even point to them.

The inability of the average liberal to identify or even care about the wayward path of their political masters has lexicologically welded “liberal” to “hypocrite” in much the same way as “Olbermann” attaches to “twit.” But nothing compares to the Democrat response to a mass gathering of concerned taxpayers.

If you want to see the Left bring out the big guns, take a look at their frantic and hate-fueled response to the Glenn Beck-fronted Restoring Honor rally. Whether Beck’s Saturday rally in front of the Lincoln Memorial drew between 300,000 and 500,000 (probably) or 1 million (probably not), a crowd larger than Ed Schultz’s nightly audience showed up in Washington to:

  • Protest President Barack Obama’s disastrous economic policy.
  • Protest Obama’s disastrous foreign policy.
  • Protest Obama’s disastrous immigration policy.
  • Call for a spiritual renewal in America.
  • Hate black people.

Actually, that last one was regurgitated by the buffoonish Al Sharpton, who spent his Saturday across town speaking to a meager handful of the usual dupes, bigots, union thugs and mouth-breathers who take him seriously.

Whether you choose to believe attendees or their liberal detractors, the crowd was large enough to send seismic waves throughout not only the ruling elite in Washington, but their corporate media outlets. Imagine Woodstock, only the hippies have grown up, gotten jobs and taken baths. Also, the rally crowd didn’t leave behind the Amazonian jungle-sized heaps of paper and refuse leftist gangs tend to scatter like breadcrumbs.

Liberal hate groups lashed out at Beck’s festival. Democrat agitprop bureau Media Matters for America shrieked about the event’s overtly political tones in… overtly political tones. MMA even managed to get in the obligatory shot at Sarah Palin, which I believe is now mandatory for any wingnut whining about how much they hate… everyone who isn’t them.

On tinfoil hat brigade bunker Dailykos.com, one diarist (“diarist” sounds better than “DNC talking point stenographer”) claimed to have attended the event and followed that dubious assertion by recounting a string of incidents which were so transparently fictional that I actually laughed out loud. Towards the end of his blather he proudly crowed about stealing a Gadsden flag from someone else’s purse. His supposed crime was greeted with praise by most of the rest of the Dailykos inmates.

Sharpton headlined the most discussed “counterdemonstration,” although the gathering’s anemic size can be more accurately described as a “counterwhimper.” Despite telling NBC that he ignored Restoring Honor, Obama tried to legitimize Sharpton’s cocktail party by dispatching Secretary of Education Arne Duncan, which is the intellectual equivalent of sending a kindergarten teacher to legitimize Cellblock D.

It evidently occurred to neither Obama nor The New York Times (which dutifully dispatched a reporter to cover the tiny “event”) that parasites like Sharpton are long past the point of legitimacy. Sharpton’s assemblage was called “Reclaim the Dream.” Sharpton has made a pile of dough without seemingly holding a job or having any discernable skills beyond race-baiting. You’re living the dream, Al.

Social networking site Facebook provided some excellent exemplars of leftist hysteria. I turned to three pages owned by friends; none of whom I shall identify by name in order to protect them from having their liberal cards revoked. One gleefully noted the corporate media didn’t provide much coverage of the Beck event. It’s a fair bet he didn’t consider that he was acknowledging the port side media’s deliberate and politically motivated refusal to do their jobs; not to mention that in noting their dereliction, he was admitting his own fixation with the event.

Another poster called Beck a “douchebag.” I was tempted to respond, but then remembered he not only watches stand-up comedian Bill Maher, but thinks the colossally unfunny Maher is insightful — punishment enough. Both comments were followed by threads of far less impressive, but far more venomous invective spewed forth by bottom-rung types who either are not only completely consumed by hate, but clearly lack introspection of any kind.

A third friend expressed his concerns that the event would “get ugly.” I don’t think he meant Dailykos-approved petty larceny.

None of the posters, from pillar to podcast, made any mention of the more than $5 million the event raised for worthwhile charity. Likewise, few on the left noted the presence of a Presidential emissary at the uber-divisive demagogue Sharpton’s counter-demonstration. On the 47th anniversary of Martin Luther King’s “I have a dream” speech, liberals were too busy building their nightmare.

The Tangled Webs We Weave

In his recent piece “What Websites Do You Read?” my fellow Bob Livingstonian, Chip Wood, opened a discussion on his favorite off-ramps, rest areas and destinations on the Information Superhighway. The attendant comments section included a plethora of possible places all of you thought worthy of at least a gas’n’go on the trip to enlightenment. Many, if not most, of the sites listed not only by Chip, but also by you denizens of Personal Liberty Digest, were noteworthy for the excellence of content, breadth of subject matter and depth of information. Some were… less so (Dailykos? REALLY?)

No matter the political bent of the site in question, whether it be Personalliberty.com or even barackisahottie.com (or whatever) — if it tickles your fancy, you can find it in cyberspace. In fact, if you can’t find it, and you have opposable thumbs, you can MAKE it. So, good news for you MSNBC devotees, you can get keithnrachel4eva.com up and running whenever you’re ready.

Unless the FCC doesn’t like the idea.

Actually, as of today, the Federal Communications Commission (FCC) can’t stop you from throwing up a website devoted to most anything — even things which aren’t real, like Rachel Maddow’s talent. But, what if a government agency, with fully vested enforcement authority, pulled you over in your sporty new Dell and cited you with a ticket for excessive conservatism? What if they simply closed the off-ramp to your favorite website?

Welcome to the web under Net Neutrality.

Government regulation is like a wedding or Michael Moore behind the counter at a Dunkin’ Donuts; it never gets smaller or less expensive for everyone else. Net Neutrality, as originally conceived, was supposed to ensure equal and unfettered access to the Internet for everyone. An idea designed to guarantee that Internet Service Providers and wired heavyweights couldn’t price smaller companies and content into the broadband slow lane. Net neutrality, in theory, was an okay idea. But in practice it will be a governmental cyber-boot on America’s online neck.

Tuesday afternoon the Second Amendment group Gun Owners of America (GOA) publicly logged off from the net neutrality coalition Save the Internet, citing its potential for government encroachment on information freedom in the age of Obama. According to GOA communications director Erich Pratt:

"Back in 2006 we supported net neutrality, as we had been concerned that AOL and others might continue to block pro-second amendment issues… The issue has now become one of government control of the Internet, and we are 100 percent opposed to that,"

Liberal bloggers rushed to suggest that GOA was actually leaving Save the Internet to avoid association with tinfoil-hat brigades like ACORN and the attack poodles at Moveon.org. But with groups including the Christian Coalition still on the Save the Internet friends’ list, Democrat attacks on the GOA are as empty as the inside of Joe Biden’s cerebral CPU.

Truth be told, the wingnuts have done a better job of leaving their footprints on the web. The monolithic nature of liberal ideology makes the leftist flock easy to herd.

People who think Bill Maher is funny, or consider MSNBC’s primetime lineup a legitimate news source, are easy pickings for digital gurus who wave flashy Internet interaction in front of them. And Net Neutrality in the hands of the FCC plays right into the Obama handbook. Pseudo-academic Joe Palermo, writing on the redoubtably leftist Huffington Post:

“..progressive news and information sites, along with MoveOn.org and other Internet organizing networks, played a key role in this dramatic shift in communications technology away from the Right and toward progressive social change. We need to lock in this advantage.”

Which FCC-controlled net neutrality would do in bank-vault fashion. Much like the not-so-dearly departed Fairness Doctrine (which liberals support), FCC reclassification of the Internet as a type II technology (essentially categorizing it as a telephone service) will open the door to the Feds shifting from addressing web traffic to web content. Given the left’s all-out war on any and all dissent, smearing it as racist, hateful or evil (Nancy Pelosi’s recent call for official investigation into Ground Zero Mosque opposition comes to mind), it would mean that outlets like Personal Liberty Digest could face governmental direction on content, or be relegated to some low-speed, lower-tier Internet backwater.

The left and their media have continually tried to confuse the citizenry with technobabble and double-talk. But FCC Internet regulation represents the ultimate Orwellian fantasy — total information control.

There is a place where net neutrality already exists, although they don’t use such a cavalier moniker. Residents call that place whatever they’re told to. We call it the People’s Republic of China.