Hey there, Democrats. It’s your pal, Ben. I want you to know I feel just awful about the way Representative Anthony Weiner not only lied about his misadventures on Twitter, but used your devotion against you. So I invite you to join us in the conservative ranks.
Your presence in the political arena has raised liberal hysteria to monumental heights. Let’s be honest, ma’am, liberals hate you. And I don’t mean “hate” in the way they hate it when the barista puts too much soy milk in their lattes. I mean “hate” in the way George Soros hates it when President Barack Obama forgets his lines.
Hollywood hates conservatives? Two votes (or more) for every Democrat. The DNC chairwoman needs a refresher course on… everything. And, some less-obvious remarks about Congressman Weiner’s — um — Twitter feed. All this, plus — is President Barack Obama planning a stealthy gun grab? Presented in 1080 High-def, FOR FREE! It’s The Great Eight, from the Personal Liberty Digest™!
As the killer was led from the courtroom last week, there was no epic roar of outrage from the gallery. As he shuffled down the hallway, only a few reporters made halfhearted attempts to glean some insight. As he stumbled (hindered by the back brace he wears), there were shrieks of neither comfort nor condemnation.
Imagine, if you will, a football team. It has practiced diligently. It has scouted the opposition exhaustively. It has a loyal, albeit marginally unbalanced, fan base. It has a foolproof game plan. It is ready. Then, it gets on the field and it loses — big. Final score: 97-0. Now, imagine the reaction in the wake of such an epic beat down.
Not For Long, Ray Lewis… “No” means “no,” Ed Schultz… Michael Moore has friends!… and we’re drinking with the President! All this, plus — MANBEARPIG! Presented in 1080 High-def, FOR FREE! It’s The Great Eight, from the Personal Liberty Digest™!
All right, kiddies, it’s that time again. Every now and then, Bob Livingston allows me to prod your cerebra with the proverbial sharp object. Actually, every now and then, I turn in one of my clever little civics quizzes so close to deadline that Livingston doesn’t have time to fill my space with old Herbert “Herblock” Block cartoons.
As the parade of potential Presidents of the United States marches toward 2012, I can’t help but notice there’s a scent on the breeze. Watching the Democrats and the corporate media circle the wagons around their idol, it finally occurred to me what the putrescent odor is: fear.
Give President Barack Obama credit. Having proved himself the most domestic policy-impaired president since Jimmy Carter “lusted in his heart” (if not since Warren Harding got his Teapot Domed), Obama has evidently decided to set his sights overseas. Bad luck for the citizens of our best strategic ally in Middle East.
Donald Trump is gone — sort of. Keith Olbermann is back — sort of. Liberals want school science replaced with school science fiction. What’s next, the U.S.S. Jimmy Hoffa? And, a step in the right-ish direction for the TSA. All this, plus watch President Barack Obama throw Israel under the bus — in 1080 High-def, FOR FREE! It’s The Great Eight, from the Personal Liberty Digest™!
During my older brother’s college years, the Ku Klux Klan planned a march through the sleepy Southern town in which his school tended the delicate young minds in their charge. As the fateful day approached, the college administrators wrung their hands over the best approach to dealing with the potentially explosive mixture of goose-stepping knot heads and a couple thousand college students drunk on school spirit and youthful vigor.
Herman Cain is a fascinating subject. A self-made millionaire, Cain is a deeply conservative man who recently announced his intention to seek the 2012 Republican Presidential nomination. Cain is a graduate of “historically black” Morehouse College in Atlanta — the alma mater of famous African-Americans including auteur Spike Lee, actor Samuel L. Jackson, banker Walter Massey and a certain clergyman from Atlanta who made quite a name for himself back in the 1960s civil rights movement — and woe be unto the pundit who denigrates the name of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.
Obama gets sideways with the Mrs. Biggie and Tupac visit the White House. More Motor City madness. And where’s Johnnie Cochran when al-Qaida needs him? All that, plus the Doody-bomb! Presented in 1080 High-def, FOR FREE! It’s The Great Eight, from the Personal Liberty Digest™!
So the economy is not exactly hitting on all cylinders of late. Unemployment hovers around the double-digit mark (the Department of Labor says 9 percent; it’s likely higher). The dollar is showing signs of losing its position in the currency market’s starting rotation (even currencies named AFTER ours — the Canadian dollar is one example — are ahead of our dollar in the batting order). And close to 15 percent of our fellow Americans receive government aid of one sort or another.
As George W. Bush entered the stretch run of his 2004 reelection bid, the national unemployment rate hovered around 5.4 percent. Given that any economist worth his slide rule (sit down, Paul Krugman) would agree that 5.4 percent is barely a Joe Biden hair-plug’s breadth above nominal zero, Bush’s economic “strategery” in the years following the lemming-off-a-cliff dive by the tech sector, the housing and construction markets plunging lower than the necklines at a Vegas working-girls convention and the virtual ubiquity of global Islamofascist terrorism was no small accomplishment — especially considering Bush spent taxpayer money like a second wife.
It’s Seal Team 6! A new star is born in the Twitterverse. Pelosi backs that thing up. Obama gets picky about the pics, and Carney fumbles… again. Presented in 1080 High-Def… FOR FREE! It’s the Great Eight, from the Personal Liberty Digest™!
My apologies for rousting you from your post-“bin Laden sleeps with the fishes” reverie (or not, depending on your perspective); but the Democrats are apparently not done with “The Donald.”
This won’t take long, kids. And it won’t be all that funny, either. Last night, as I was polishing a piece on an entirely different topic, the Drudge Report ran the headline. Then CNN began screaming that a Presidential address to the nation was expected for sometime after 10:30 EDT. Without seeming immodest, I knew it was coming. The President — any President — wouldn’t ask for a few moments of our time at that hour except under extremely unusual circumstances.
Levi can read! Looking for Mahmoud. That’s all that’s left of Air America. The Donald is the boss; and say goodnight, Katie. All that, plus a bobblehead! Presented in 1080 high definition, FOR FREE! It’s the Great Eight, from the Personal Liberty Digest.
The field of candidates for the 2012 Presidential election is shaping up. President Barack Obama has already announced his intention to run for another four years. With the upcoming Presidential race attracting candidates like the proverbial moths to the flame, there’s no shortage of material to examine. Ben Crystal weighs in on those who may seek the highest office in the land.
Last weekend, more than a billion Christians around the world observed the passing of Good Friday and Easter. Well… MOST Christians observed Good Friday and Easter. Rumor has it that some of us were observing the passing of a Good Hangover and/or an Easter discount at the golf course. (Well, that’s what I heard.)
No one ever wrote it down; mostly because common decency dictates that it didn’t need to be written down. No matter what your objection to (insert name of political figure to whom you object here), their kids were always out of bounds.
New York throws a wet blanket on summer. The Barack Obama Administration gets lessons from Tricky Dick. Can Charles Manson save MSNBC and Al Gore? And Big Sis saves America from the kids. All this, plus — A New Car! Presented in 1080 High-Def.FOR FREE! It’s the Great Eight, from the Personal Liberty Digest!