All In

In the wake of last week’s announcement by President Barack Obama and his minion, Secretary of Health and Human Services Kathleen Sebelius, that not only are they unconcerned about the revelation that literally every aspect of Obamacare is an outright fraud, but they’re quite proud of their crimes, I have repeatedly found myself fielding the same question from friends and family: “You’re going to write about Obamacare, right?”

My response tends toward both yes and no. Of course, I would be as derelict in my duties for Personal Liberty Digest™ were I to ignore Obama and Sebelius’ attempts to brazenly lie their way through the firestorm of controversy generated by their continued dedication to the more than $2 trillion disaster that has been proven beyond argument to be the sort of criminal enterprise that normally gets people a nice cozy suite next to Bernie Madoff in Federal prison.

However, I fail to see the point in repeating the same undeniable facts about Obamacare and/or the parade of disgrace that defines his occupation of the White House. Ultimately, pointing out that Obama and the trash with which he has surrounded himself represent an affront to everything decent about this Nation is about as worthwhile as attempting to explain actual science to Al Gore. Gore wouldn’t care, the low-information types upon whom the Democrats ride wouldn’t care and Obama and his lieutenants have made it abundantly clear that they don’t give a damn.

Indeed, I am beginning to develop a sense that rallying against Obama’s criminal enterprise may well be a complete waste of time. The sort of people who continue to support Obamacare after this latest nightmare are well beyond salvation — if they were ever salvageable to begin with. If we learned anything from watching Obama develop the world’s weirdest case of Tourette’s syndrome, it’s that he and the Democrats are “all in” in their war on liberty. If we’ve learned anything from watching everyone from the lapdog media to the college womyn’s (sic) studies professor who smells like dead field mice and foot fungus, it’s that most Democrats are either too deluded or too stupid to break the stranglehold of liberal mendacity.

Don’t mistake my intent. I’m not being deliberately cruel, like one of the so-called “comedians” whom the Democrats employ to stoke the flames of hate that fuel the Democratic base. I’m simply noting that there is no longer a legitimate defense for Obama’s tenure. He has lied, cheated, defrauded and potentially even murdered in the name of his twisted ideology. Under his tenure, the Federal government has targeted law-abiding citizens for all manner of cruelty while going so far as to make our country an official state sponsor of islamofascist terrorism and narcoterrorist drug filth. Clearly, there is as much chance of them reversing course as there is a chance that Obamacare will make you healthier, wealthier and wiser.

Obama and his friends have drawn their line in the sand: They’re “all in.”  Where are you?

–Ben Crystal

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Obamacare’s Other Victims

On Tuesday, House Minority Whip Steny Hoyer (D-Obamacare) finally admitted what everyone outside the Federally-funded “navigators” already knew. It doesn’t matter if you like your plan or not.

If President Barack Obama doesn’t like it, you don’t get to keep it. Indeed, he knew all along that Obama’s top selling point was an outright fraud. “We knew that there would be some policies that would not qualify and therefore people would be required to get more extensive coverage…” But even in the face of such an admission by a member of the inner circle of Big Barry himself, most Democrats denied Obama’s latest disgrace like a mob lawyer making an alibi for a Genovese capo.

Among the poor souls forced to shill for Obama’s supreme scam: a woman named Tara McGuiness. McGuiness’s Twitter bio identifies her as a Senior Communications Advisor for the White House. It also includes the tag line “all health care all the time.” In layman’s terms, McGuiness is a mouthpiece whose sole reason for existence — other than feeding what I’ll bet is more than one cat — is to provide cover for Obamacare.


Were it not for the fact that she took the job and continues to perform the duties entailed, I might feel a little bad for McGuiness and the rest of her lower-to-mid-level Obama stooges. After all, she was back on Twitter Tuesday afternoon, cheering Obamacare as if Hoyer had not just admitted that Obama knew from the jump that he had been lying all along. Among the “facts” proffered by Ms. McGuiness — all of which would remain meaningless even if Hoyer had not obviated them by admitting to Obama’s chicanery — was this bit of Twitter twaddle: “saying that millions. .are getting ‘cancellation notices’ / ‘losing their coverage’ is deeply misleading.” McGuiness included a link to a “report” from the far-left-wing hate speech site Talking Points Memo. Ultimately, McGuiness attempted to bolster the Democrats’ fraud by citing the Democrats. Of course, it’s already matter of record that Obamacare has pushed millions out of their insurance plans.

And in a twist worthy only of the Democrats, she called her boss a liar. Included in McGuiness’s Twitter feed was this nugget, which also appeared on the official White House feed: “FACT: 43 % of people with individual market insurance have a pre-ex condition (they are likely to be charged today).” Er, far be it for me to correct as unimpeachable a source as the Obama White House, but if those 43 percent already have “individual market insurance” and a “pre-ex condition,” then what the hell did they need Obamacare for, exactly?

McGuiness is hardly alone in her disgrace. From the widely-reviled – not to mention Obamacare-exempt — House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi to inexplicably tax-exempt hate group Generaloberst Jim Messina, the Democrats have continued to make excuses for Obamacare despite the now-indubitable revelation that every promise Obama made regarding his “signature accomplishment” is an outright lie. It’s almost as if they just filter out reality. Actually, given the suspension of higher thought required to cling to Obamacare at this point, perhaps it helps them sleep at night.


Hillary 2016

If the next Presidential election grants me no other boon, I sincerely wish that it will grant me the Presidential candidacy of former First Lady, Senator and Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton. To borrow one of President Barack Obama’s favorite phrases, “let me be clear.” I want Hillary Clinton to run for President as badly as Obama wants to birdie the 9th at Doral. Before you compose an angry email to Mr. Livingston demanding I be consigned to an eternity of serving as Oprah Winfrey’s towel boy, allow me to elaborate.

Senate Foreign Relations Committee holds a hearing on Benghazi in Washington, DC
Former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton chats with Senator John McCain during testimony on the Benghazi slayings. Credit: UPI

I don’t want Hillary Clinton to run for President because I think she’d make such a marvelous leader of the free world. Outside some of America’s more fearsome correctional facilities, I can’t imagine too many folks over whom I would choose Clinton for President. I just want to observe as the smartest woman in her world discovers the hard way that her world is a great deal smaller than THE world. Plus, the theatre of the absurd which will be the 2016 race for the Democratic Presidential nomination will make the cast of the next Judd Apatow stoner comedy look like narcoleptic Gregorian monks by comparison. Think of it:

Hillary Clinton should be President because she’s a strong woman.

A silver-spoon-fed rich girl comes of age in the Weather Underground section of the 1960s, falls in love with the fat kid from the band, abandons a promising career as a hatchet-lawyer for the Democratic Party, latches on to Fatty’s big’n’tall coattails, smiles blankly through his endless philandering and finally reaches the big time after he’s through with it. Oh yeah, she’s a veritable Susan B. Anthony. I know every time I think of my niece, I hope she finds an overweight, sex-addicted liar who can spirit her through the pitfalls of work and accomplishment and into authority she didn’t earn and can’t exercise properly. What’s dignity when measured against the ability to perjure oneself and get away with it?

Hillary Clinton should be President because she’s so smart.

She’s well-spoken, I suppose. But well-spoken doesn’t necessarily equate to well-regarded. History is littered with examples of people who used a good command of the lexicon to advance beyond their peers. Some of them used their new station to benefit those whom they had outstripped. Others used their station to invent “vast right wing conspiracies.” Her tenure as First Lady revealed a hyper-ambitious streak which – combined with what appears to be a total lack of compunction – led to her ill-fated attempt to make Obamacare the law 14 years before Obama proved it wouldn’t work. Her tenure as a Senator from New York really didn’t amount to much of a legacy; mostly because she never intended for it to be anything but a springboard. Her tenure as Secretary of State was a complete and utter disaster (See also: Benghazi, “what difference…does it make?”, Syria and the death spiral in which America’s overseas credibility is now trapped). Smart? Why, because she went to Yale? So did President George W. Bush.

Hillary Clinton should be President because it’s high time a woman held the office.

Actually, it’s high time a competent Chief Executive held the office. Liberals consider things like race and gender before they consider things like merit and quality. Actually, liberals pretty much ALWAYS consider the former before the latter. That’s how people who possess neither tend to rise to the top of the Democratic molehill. If the right woman were to run, then she’d have my support. Dr. Condoleeza Rice remains someone for whom I would gladly cast a ballot; though she seems about as interested in the gig as Hillary is in testifying before Congress. It’s worth noting that the Democrats seem to have left their political feminine sides handcuffed to the stove in 2008; and remain decidedly less than feminine any time Sarah Palin walks by.

Hillary Clinton should be President because she’s eminently qualified.

If by “eminently qualified,” her supporters mean “currently breathing,” then I suppose she’s in. If they mean “shrill, angry and self-entitled,” then she’s a definitive front runner. Hillary Clinton has hovered around the highest offices in the land for 20 years. In that time, she has yet to demonstrate any particular political acumen beyond blaming others for her own mistakes. For that matter, she seems to blame others for her occasional successes; especially in such arenas as commodities trading and real estate investment. Of all the people who stumbled across the missing records from an Arkansas law firm while wandering through the White House years later, Hillary is clearly the most qualified to head up the Federal government.

Hillary Clinton should be President because she’s so well-respected.

And why shouldn’t she be? She has endured a “vast right wing conspiracy” which she fabricated out of her own imaginary cloth. She dodged non-existent sniper fire in Serbia – or was it Ireland? She ferretted out that execrable bastard who made the YouTube video responsible for the totally spontaneous attack on the American compound in Benghazi. She even managed to fight off those evil Republicans who dared question her diplomatic acumen in the wake of the Benghazi attack. Indeed, between the states-woman-ship of Clinton and her big buddy Barack, the United States has built an international reputation at least as strong as – say – North Korea’s or Myanmar’s.

Meanwhile, imagine the hijinks in store for the rest of us in the 2016 electoral cycle. Tell me you’re not looking forward to Hillary invoking the imaginary “war on women” to deflect criticism like Van Helsing waving a crucifix in front of Dracula. Tell me you’re not looking forward to Hillary explaining how she’ll bring peace to the parts of the world which turned into even more exciting terrorist havens during her Secretary-ship. Tell me you’re not looking forward to Hillary explaining how she will either continue or discontinue the Obama policy of providing weapons to Al Qaida-linked terrorists in Syria.

Moreover, tell me you’re not looking forward to the Democratic debates; especially if Vice President Joe Biden follows through on his threats to run. Joe Biden vs. Hillary Clinton? Vegas wishes it could book that battle royale every weekend. If someone convinces former Congressman Dennis Kucinich to jump in, then the Democrats could conceivably sell their debates to the WWE.

“TONIGHT ON RAW: Hillary “ThunderLies” Clinton, “Jellybean” Joe Biden and Dennis “The Spaceman” Kucinich in the cage match to end all cage matches!” 

My money would be on Hillary. Kucinich is a mile out of his weight class; and Biden’s moves are all cribbed from Neil Kinnock. Plus, look for her finisher, the “Pantsuit Leglock.”

Mostly, I want to watch former President Bill Clinton adjust to his new role as a prospective First Gentleman. Of course, I’ll probably have to subscribe to Cinemax™ to do so. Hillary 2016: they’ll sell us the seat; but we’ll only need the front edge.


- Ben Crystal

Benghazi Revisited

It’s official, kids. President Barack Obama lied to the American people about the events surrounding the al-Qaida-planned and led attack on the compound in Benghazi; notably the murders of Ambassador Chris Stevens, Glenn Doherty, Sean Smith and Tyrone Woods.

Actually, everyone outside the mailing list already knew. But now, it is super-duper-double-secret official. And, despite the fact that they’ve probably endangered their spot on the White House Ramadan Card list, the people who have finally kicked in the door Obama has tried mightily to keep locked are none other than the former employers of disgraced ex-anchor Dan Rather: CBS News.

On Sunday night, “60 Minutes” aired an interview conducted by Lara Logan – no stranger to the violence of which inadequately contained Islamofascists are capable – with unqualified experts on the events of that fateful night. Deputy Ambassador to Libya Greg Hicks, whose Congressional testimony on Benghazi knocked a few bricks out of the Obama Administration’s wall of silence a few months back, brought his sledgehammer out of retirement for the sit-down. According to Hicks, not only was the then-Hillary Clinton-led State Department well aware of the worsening situation in Libya, they had been specifically apprised of the amplification of al-Qaida ululating in area. And not only did the State Department not move to increase security after Stevens specifically noted that “(T)he al-Qaida flag has been spotted several times flying over government buildings,” they ignored three requests for security assets.

If that alone doesn’t jolt you out of your reality-TV reverie, try this on for size: According to Lt. Col. Andy Wood, nearly everyone from the muezzins at the Benghazi mosques to Hillary Clinton’s yard guy knew that al-Qaida was coming. And Wood didn’t arrive at this conclusion through any in-depth intelligence gathering or Jason Bourne-like spycraft. Nope, all Wood had to do was log on to the Internet, where the terrorists had posted their plans.

Asked by Logan if he had passed his concerns on to Washington, Wood affirmed: “We included that in our reports to both State Department and DOD…” That means the Clinton “what difference does it make” narrative was dead and buried long before she dragged it into the Congressional hearing during which she blatantly lied.

We already knew Obama and his accomplices lied about virtually everything connected to the Benghazi massacre. The infamous “YouTube” excuse floated by Rice and pushed by hapless sock puppets like Chris Matthews barely staggered through a week before someone bothered to notice it was sillier than most of Matthews’ MSNBC yammering. In fact, the Democrats’ desperate attempts to muddy the waters with ridiculous whining about the manner in which Clinton was treated during her shocking displays of mendacity are proof in and of themselves of the con they tried to play.

The sad truth is that all the lies Obama and his accomplices have told us have bounced harmlessly off the iron-sided ignorance of the low-information liberal base. And the fact that Obama and Clinton lied through their teeth about literally EVERY aspect of Benghazi will have little to no effect on that same base. To them, partisanship comes before everything including – perhaps ESPECIALLY – life itself. Of COURSE they value Obama’s Presidency – not to mention Clinton’s Presidential aspirations – over the lives of Stevens, Doherty, Smith and Woods. These are people who proudly support Representative Wendy “Abortion Barbie” Davis (D-Kermit Gosnell’s abattoir).

They just don’t care. And they’re not likely to start now. After all, what’s four dead Americans, a cover-up which extends from the deserts of Libya to the White House and the brutal murder of whatever credibility Hillary Clinton had left in her purse when weighed against politics?


-Ben Crystal

Representative Alan Grayson And The New (Old) Tone

I’ll say this about President Barack Obama: He’s a giver. After all, without the daily disco of dishonest disgrace that his Administration has delivered in unprecedented amounts, we wouldn’t enjoy the new level of partisan rancor with which the Democrats have replaced any hope of responsible and responsive government. And let us all thank Representative Alan Grayson (D-Fla.) for the latest reminder that there are no depths so low that liberals haven’t plumbed, roughed-in and constructed Section 8 housing in them. Grayson is no stranger to the political septic system. Indeed, he’s well-known for his bouts of verbal diarrhea, notably claiming conservatives want Americans to “die quickly.” Of course, we know that was actually former Surgeon General Joycelyn Elders’ “plan.” Grayson also infamously referred to a senior aide to Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke as a “whore,” but he may have been cribbing Democrat talking points about any woman with whom they disagree.

Observe the magnificent lunacy of Grayson’s latest fundraiser:

While Grayson’s basic message, which I’m guessing aims to equate the Tea Party with the Ku Klux Klan, is pretty much par for the liberals’ kicky new rhetorical course, it wildly misses the mark for historical accuracy. The last time the KKK held any real relevance, they served as the punch line to a running gag in “The Blues Brothers.” The only exception to that might be the distinguished career of former Senate Majority Leader Robert Byrd, a longtime Democratic power-player who donned his first hoodie decades before Trayvon Martin made them cool.

But this sort of inane ranting isn’t new to the Democrats; slander has been their M.O. for decades. However, the real tinfoil-hat brigadiers have generally been kept at arm’s length from such Democrats’ inner sancta as Malibu, Chappaqua and Hyannis Port. Either they’ve been shunted off to mid-level staff positions in places like the California Bureau of Snail Darter Habitat Enforcement, settled into digs at lapdog media asylums like MSNBC or — if they’re really off the deep end — the office of the Vice President of the United States.

Unfortunately, the advent of the Teflon Presidency in the person of Obama has unchained the snarling mutts of the far left; and now they have infested the highest halls of power in the land. Hence, the hypocritical ramblings of the global warmists, America-lasters and outright socialist sociopaths of the far left, which moved from the barely-audible squeak of President Jimmy Carter to the muffled giggling of President Bill Clinton, are now the full-throated roar of the Obama-era Democrats. Grayson’s repulsively mendacious shrieking used to be the stuff of Bill Ayers’ bomb threats and Louis Farrakhan’s tirades. Now, they’re Congressional fundraising pitches.

Imagine the sort of people who respond in the affirmative to Grayson’s craven intellectual thuggery. Imagine them voting. And imagine the sort of people for whom they vote. Imagine the sort of party that proudly digests them all. No wonder Grayson sits in Congress, instead of somewhere more fitting, like a cardboard box under a freeway overpass or the lovely Section 8 housing to which so many Democratic voters are consigned. And no wonder America faces its darkest days in decades.

–Ben Crystal

The Debate Is Over

Last Friday afternoon, a group of people described by CBS News’ San Francisco bureau as “dozens of undocumented immigrants and immigrants’ rights advocates” rallied to successfully stop a bus. Now, given the nature of most “undocumented immigrants and immigrants’ rights advocates,” I’m left wondering why the bus bothered to stop. Nonetheless, the bus did stop; and its cargo of criminals was delayed in reaching its ultimate destination south of the border.

Stories like this one spur many people to wonder about the state of our border security. I should point out that stories like this one ought to spur many to recognize that meaningful border security is — to put a fine point on it — done like dinner. There was a time when people who deliberately assisted criminals in the commission of a crime were known as “accomplices.” Now, they’re “undocumented immigrants and immigrants’ rights advocates.” Kids, we’re parsing words in order to avoid offending the delicate feelings of people who are brazenly flouting the law just by being here. From where I sit, the point at which actually securing the border was still a possibility has disappeared behind the horizon.

Here’s how CBS San Francisco reported the human blockade: “[D]ozens of undocumented immigrants and immigrants’ rights advocates… blocked what was believed to be a bus carrying immigrants to be deported.”

And here’s how CBS should have reported the human blockade: “Assisted by accomplices, dozens of illegal aliens attempted to block what was believed to be a bus carrying other illegal aliens to be deported. They were promptly arrested, shackled, bundled onto the same bus and given free transportation to Tijuana.”

There is no debate over border security. At least, there is no longer a debate over border security that is worth having. With stories like the one above, the only question I have left is this: How do I say “Bartender, two fingers of scotch over ice, please” in Spanish?

–Ben Crystal

Who’s The Boss?

One day, as you’re trudging slowly over the mountain of work between you and the blessed relief of the stiff drink and the soft couch in your living room, one of your employees walks into your office. You’ve never liked this guy; in fact, he got the job over your objections. You remain suspicious of his qualifications, and you have some lingering doubts about some the entries on his resume. For example, you couldn’t find anyone except for some shifty-looking dudes who call themselves “community organizers” who were willing to act as references. Nonetheless, he demands your attention.

“Boss, I’ve got this great idea! If we implement it, everything about our company will improve. We’ll be more efficient, more productive and more profitable. Meanwhile, the morale of the employees will improve dramatically. Even the guys on the janitorial staff will reap benefits! I can’t believe anyone hasn’t thought of it before! And all I need is” — you brace yourself — “more money.”

When you ask how much more money he needs to make his dream a reality, he demurs. “Let’s get back to that in a moment.” And then he lays out a plan that will require you to hand over virtually total control of the company, following which he will impose a series of cutbacks to vital areas while simultaneously funneling capital into shady investment schemes and outright fraudulent enterprises. He will force the company to ignore industrial espionage by competitors, even giving them the passcodes to the company’s secure servers. He will change the pay structure so that the most productive and valuable employees are punished for their achievements, while throwing bonuses at some employees who seem unwilling to work at all. He will restructure human resources so that diversity quotas are introduced that supersede merit and accomplishment. He will add functionaries and paper-pushers while forcing blue-collar-level employees to endure either twice the workload or face unemployment. The IT component of his plan would need a ladder to climb to “slapdash.” Even without a computer science degree, you can see the system will fail at a catastrophic level — maybe on the first day. In addition, he wants corporate security to give him unfettered access to every employee’s personnel files — although he never makes it clear how spying on the workforce will benefit the company.

His plan is insane, unworkable and even dangerous. His budgeting makes no sense. He’s either grossly underestimating the company’s fiscal liabilities, or he’s deliberately fudging the numbers. His idea requires the accounting and legal departments to grow exponentially at the cost of virtually every tangibly productive sector of the company. He also lacks the support of well more than half the company’s employees, although most of the dissent is halfhearted and more for show than anything else. Moreover, those who have weighed in on either side of the plan are mostly soft-handed, pudgy, middle-management types who don’t seem to represent the rest of the payroll particularly well. The employees who really make the company successful are far too busy working to pay attention to either side.

As he continues his meandering, backtracking and even outright dishonest pitch, something occurs to you: His plan has been tried before. Back in the early 90s, some fat guy whom everyone seemed to like despite a few fairly serious breaches of the company’s sexual harassment policy tried to foist off a similarly horrendous idea on the company. He got the idea from his wife, although she didn’t work for the company at the time.

You sit up, preparing to tell him that not only are you denying his request, you’re seriously considering firing him for insubordination, theft, dishonesty and even killing some of the company’s finest employees. He grins and says: “I’m not asking you. I’m telling you. Since you hired me, I can do whatever I want. Now, how about you sign this check for $2 trillion?”

Just imagine.

–Ben Crystal