At The Movies

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Generally, I approach the endless stream of foibles, flaws and failures which have defined President Barack Obama’s occupation of the Oval Office with humor. After all, I can either laugh or cry; and I’m not much for tears — except when I’m out of Scotch and the liquor store is closed. Following the events of the last few days, even I am finding it difficult to put a happy face on the clearly coordinated “chaos” in the Middle East and Obama’s hapless response thereto.

Late last week, Obama tried mightily to make the murder of Americans and attacks on our embassies a story about Mitt Romney. When that craven political move failed (mostly because it was so transparently stupid even the corporate media didn’t swallow it), the new talking point surprisingly shifted to parroting the Islamofascist instigators. According to a segment I like to call the Obama Protection League (OPL), the Islamofascist attacks for which our people were deliberately underprepared — as a direct result of Obama Administration orders — were and are due to a movie entitled “Innocence of Muslims.”

Being the diligent sort, I sat down to watch the film on YouTube. I presumed that it must be an exceptional bit of artistry for it to inspire such rage across the world and such mewling weakness from the White House. I steeled my resolve and clicked “play.”

Let me be absolutely clear: “Innocence of Muslims” is as much a “movie” as Obama is a “good President.” I made it almost three minutes into the show before I went back to checking my fantasy football roster. To suggest that “Innocence of Muslims” is a steaming pile of Maddow is — incredibly — an understatement. I remarked to a colleague that I could have out-auteured the shlockfest with a cell phone camera and a cast of ill-trained puppies. His response: “Sure, but why bother?”

Presume for a moment that the OPL is right, and the rising tide of Mideast chaos counterpointed with the downward spiral of the Nation’s prestige is happening in some geopolitical void where z-grade “movies” cause what would otherwise be peaceful folk to morph into bloodthirsty savages. By that logic, not only are the Democrats suggesting that Muslims are incapable of even marginal self-control in the face of minor provocation; they’re also suggesting that Jodie Foster is responsible for the attempted assassinations of President Reagan, Press Secretary James Brady, police officer Thomas Delhanty and Secret Service agent Tim McCarthy; the Beatles are complicit in the Manson murders and J.D. Salinger killed John Lennon.

“Innocence of Muslims” is garbage. It’s badly scripted, badly acted and badly shot. In fact, if you turn the sound off during viewing, it’s entirely possible you’ll wonder where they found what appear to be a tribe of gigantic and very angry “oompa-loompas.” It was also uploaded to YouTube months ago. To suggest — as Obama has continued to do since abandoning his shamefully mendacious attacks on Romney — that “Innocence of Muslims” is anything more than a convenient excuse for Islamofascists to do precisely what they’d be doing anyway is not only callous but also fairly racist.

I take the divine gift of American citizenship as seriously as I take almost nothing else. I observe Obama and his Democratic accomplices denigrate, demean and defile our precious freedoms on an almost daily basis. And there’s no doubting the Islamofascists’ ultimate plans for us. Nonetheless, I have stormed nary an embassy, set nary a flag alight and murdered nary an ambassador. Those qualities are shared by most members of the human species; including a fairly impressive majority of Muslims.

The recent crimes in the Mideast were committed by violent Islamofascist thugs; not some shot-on-a-lunchbreak “movie.” And the attacks’ efficacy was a direct result of the same lackadaisical ineptitude with which Obama has met every other challenge.

Granted, the OPL has to come up with SOMETHING. We’re inside two months to electoral zero hour; and Obama appears to be trying to throw the fight. He has piloted the economy into a death spiral; our geopolitical prestige lies in ashes in the streets of Benghazi, where the ambassador lacked the sort of protection that Obama crony Valerie Jarrett employs to keep the unwashed masses from disturbing her. Corruption, duplicity and perjury have tainted his legacy.

All things being equal, perhaps we should allow Obama and his minions to blame the movies. After all, they’ve subjected the rest of us to a horror film for nearly four years.

-Ben Crystal

Personal Liberty

Ben Crystal

is a 1993 graduate of Davidson College and has burned the better part of the last two decades getting over the damage done by modern-day higher education. He now lives in Savannah, Ga., where he has hosted an award-winning radio talk show and been featured as a political analyst for television. Currently a principal at Saltymoss Productions—a media company specializing in concept television and campaign production, speechwriting and media strategy—Ben has written numerous articles on the subjects of municipal authoritarianism, the economic fallacy of sin taxes and analyses of congressional abuses of power.

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