ARDS: AR-15 Derangement Syndrome
September 19, 2013 by Ben Crystal
While I have no doubt that most Democrats would prefer the massacre at the Washington Navy Yard had not occurred, I canâ€™t help but notice theyâ€™ve seem to devolve into predictably partisan shrieking faster than first lady Michelle Obama can do the â€śDougie.â€ť For people who supposedly live by the credo â€śnever let a crisis go to waste,â€ť as expressed by Rahm Emanuel (former White House chief of staff and current mayor of the windy shootout known as Chicago), they donâ€™t exactly focus when the chips are down.
Witness the newest lapdog media malady: ARDS (AR-15 derangement syndrome). When it turned out that Washington Navy Yard shooter Aaron Alexis didnâ€™t employ an AR-15 (a semi-automatic replica of a military weapon) in his killing spree, they did what all self-respecting liberal pseudo-journalists did; they doubled down on the wrong bet.
CNN, led by the Gen. Charles Cornwallis of television, Piers Morgan, spent the entire day of the massacre blaming the Navy Yard shootings on the AR-15. Morgan even revisited the site of his earlier rhetorical Yorktowns with his usual rants about â€śkilling machines.â€ť Unable to contextualize the object of their rage, CNN also ran a story on Tuesday entitled â€śNavy Yard shooting: AR-15, back in the news — briefly,â€ť arguing that although the AR-15 wasnâ€™t involved, that in no way diminishes the gunâ€™s obvious evil. The writer even repeated the â€śkilling machineâ€ť line and added some statements about rates of fire that he must have gleaned from watching Jean-Claude Van Damme movies. â€śAn AR-15 is usually capable of firing a rate of 45 rounds per minute in semi-automatic mode.â€ť Put aside the fact that an AR-15 doesnâ€™t function in any other mode, and flex your trigger finger as fast as you can for a minute. Try that with so much as a Red Ryder BB gun, and youâ€™d have better luck yelling at the target. Itâ€™s worth noting that CNNâ€™s story retracting its erroneous allegation against a firearm that Alexis didnâ€™t use mentioned a rifle that Alexis didnâ€™t use 19 times — 16 times more than it mentioned Alexis.
MSNBC paraded the usual coterie of unlikable politicos vomiting up the usual platitudes about so-called â€śgun violence.â€ť But it really worked some left-wing magic when it aired a computer-generated animation that included Alexis using, of course, an AR-15. Perhaps MSNBC could computer-generate a respectable audience.
But the patient with the worst case of ARDS Iâ€™ve ever seen would be the New York Daily News, whose meager subscriber base was treated to this magnificent bit of journalistic malpractice:
Officer, Iâ€™d like to report a murder. It was Mike Lupica in the break room with the wrong rifle.
Less than two miles from the scene of the crime, Senator Dianne Feinstein, who spent most of last week presuming to reinterpret freedom of the press to include â€śas long as they voted for Obama,â€ť used Alexisâ€™ crimes to indict the firearm he didnâ€™t use. â€śThere are reports the killer was armed with an AR-15â€¦ when he stormed an American military installation in the nationâ€™s capital and took at least 12 innocent lives.â€ť Feinstein finishes a week attacking the 1st Amendment, then follows up with an attack on the 2nd. At this pace, sheâ€™ll be pushing to have the 3rd Infantry Division bunking in your basement next weekend.
I understand the anti-Bill of Rights crowd is made up almost exclusively of liberals. I also understand that liberals tend to react to things they donâ€™t understand with almost irrational fear. Given the above examples of ARDS, itâ€™s safe to say they understand firearms — specifically the AR-15 — nearly as well as they understand journalistic integrity. Fortunately, there is a remedy for ARDS. Unfortunately, the anti-Bill of Rights crowd will never learn about it; CNN bumped the story so that Morgan could blame killings on the wrong suspect. Again.