April Fooled? You Must Be A Liberal
April 2, 2014 by John Myers
When I was in South Africa with my uncle, Dick, we were part of a travel group from the United States. On our manifest was a diamond mine tour in Gauteng. We walked about where the Great Star of Africa, a pear-shaped diamond weighing 530.20 carats, had been discovered.
Dick and I were more interested in the labor situation than we were in stumbling over a diamond. Just as well, because it turned out to be a dreadfully boring tour; that is, until it was over. That’s when our group was directed towards the mine’s exit. We all lined up like schoolchildren behind what looked like a customs booth that had crashed smack onto the desert.
I nudged Dick in the ribs when I noticed why it was taking us so long to get to our air-conditioned bus. It was a scene right out of a Monty Python sketch. An interrogator — in a uniform replete with a Gestapo-type cap — sat inside a Plexiglas cubicle, and each of us had to pass by him.
When it was my turn, he instructed me to raise my left hand, palm facing out. It was then that a large and flat aluminum square was hand-cranked toward me, waist high. I stood, staring at it.
“Are you ready to give your sworn statement?” asked my adjudicator.
“Sure, why not?”
“Keep your left hand raised and place your right hand squarely on the ‘truth-plate,’ fingers spread. Look at me, and then answer my question: Do you have any diamonds on your person or have you seen anyone on site pick up a diamond today?”
I started laughing. This was no lie detector. I had been around lie detectors, and this was a gag show for the terminally stupid. Dick kicked me sharp in the ankle and leaned into my ear, saying: “Cut it out!”
I kept myself together and declared that, no, I was not carrying any diamonds on me and, no, I had not seen anyone in the group pick any up.
A green light that looked like an old traffic light came on. The makeshift door to my right opened, and I walked through it and toward our bus, laughing like hell.
When all of us were back on board, a married couple from Vermont tore into me about how I could have gotten the tour group into trouble. They were diehard Democrats and took authority most seriously. In fact, they actually believed that what we had been questioned on was a real lie detector.
I said something to them that probably wasn’t all that polite, and my uncle settled me down with a sip from his gin mickey tucked into his sports jacket. He shared with me an important truth that day: Some people are simply too stupid to argue with.
Obama’s Blind Believers
Despite abysmal poll ratings, millions of Americans still trust Barack Obama and believe he is doing a fine job as President.
It is tantamount to believing the Titanic was on course even after her bow tipped forward into the icy-cold North Atlantic. Yet we know that a few minutes before that moment, many on board still believed the Titanic would right herself. What else could they believe? Everything for those on board was vested in the Titanic being what everyone had claimed it was: unsinkable.
So it is for liberals vested in Obama: the healthcare President whose signature Obamacare is collapsing, the bipartisan President who has yet to reach across the aisle except to pick up his golf clubs, the healing President whose five years in office have seen a spike in racial tensions and whose personal utterances from the Oval Office have only widened the divide between blacks and whites.
Yet loyal Democrats continue to believe utter foolishness: that Obama is a good President and that the Republicans, the Tea Party, Rush Limbaugh, Sarah Palin and perhaps even Elvis’ evil twin are the reason Obama’s Presidency has failed. The one question that is never asked in liberal corners is whether Obama was ever competent to be President of the United States?
Liberal Ignorance Is Our Damnation
After I graduated university, I spent a year in journalism school. That education paid off handsomely. I was taught to assume I’m being lied to when tracking down a story because I probably am.
Questioning everything is hard work. Since people tend to be lazy, this gives liberals a big advantage over libertarians. By the millions, liberals assume a litany of stupid ideas, including:
- Man-made climate change is an absolute fact.
- “Stand your ground” laws are racist and only serve to endanger African-Americans.
- Unless shown the righteous path, white people are — and will always remain — racists.
- Obama is the one person most qualified to show white people the evil of their racist past.
- Black people are hardly ever racist toward whites.
- Gay people are kind and progressive. Only people that oppose gay marriage are ignorant.
- Obama cares deeply about America and preserving the U.S. Constitution.
- The Federal government, led by Obama, wants to help all Americans.
- Obama knows better than we do as to what must be done to help America.
Don’t take my word for it. Just watch CNN. It’s running ads that actually say: “Watch Don Lemon tonight. He will tell you what stories really matter.”
My problem is I don’t want an openly gay civil rights activist telling me what is important. I want to figure that out for myself. That in itself is the difference between a libertarian and a liberal.
Yours in good times and bad,