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America: Congress Sucks More Than Nickelback, Carnies And Colonoscopies

January 10, 2013 by  

America: Congress Sucks More Than Nickelback, Carnies And Colonoscopies

It has officially been confirmed that the 112th Congress, which came to a close last week, was the least productive on record.

Despite attempting to make massive gains in eviscerating American liberty with indefinite detention, online spying, Internet control bills and wasteful spending, the recently closed Congress held the lowest number of meetings and passed the fewest bills since The Washington Times began tallying legislative progress with its Futility Index. The latest Congress achieved a Futility Index of 330, according to the newspaper’s calculations; that’s 10 percent worse than the previous most unproductive Congress, the 107th in 2001 and 2002.

Lawmakers blame the lack of cooperation between the Democratic Senate and Republican House for the constant state of legislative gridlock that Americans have come to expect from Congress.

Whatever the cause of the Congressional dysfunction, a new poll from Public Policy Polling (PPP) demonstrates how frustrated a majority of Americans are with their elected representatives on Capitol Hill. PPP found that Congress currently has an approval rating of just 9 percent. Here is a list of things the polling agency determined have a higher approval rating than America’s legislators when respondents were given a choice between the two:

  • Lice, 67 percent : Congress,  17 percent
  • Brussels sprouts, 69 percent : Congress, 23 percent
  • NFL replacement refs, 56 percent : Congress, 29 percent
  • Colonoscopies, 58 percent : Congress, 31 percent
  • Root canals, 56 percent : Congress, 32 percent
  • Used car salesmen, 57 percent : Congress, 32 percent
  • Traffic jams, 56 percent : Congress, 34 percent
  • France, 46 percent : Congress, 37 percent
  • Carnies, 39 percent : Congress, 31 percent
  • Nickelback, 39 percent : Congress, 32 percent
  • Genghis Khan, 41 percent : Congress 37 percent
  • Political pundits, 37 percent: Donald Trump, 44 percent : Congress, 42 percent
  • Cockroaches, 45 percent : Congress, 43 percent

America’s lawmakers, however, did beat some of the choices: Lindsey Lohan (45/41), playground bullies (43/38), telemarketers (45/35), the Kardashians (49/36), John Edwards (45/29), lobbyists (48/30), Fidel Castro (54/32), gonorrhea (53/28), ebola (53/25), communism (57/23), North Korea (61/26) and meth labs (60/21).

Here’s to you, Congress:

Sam Rolley

Staff writer Sam Rolley began a career in journalism working for a small town newspaper while seeking a B.A. in English. After learning about many of the biases present in most modern newsrooms, Rolley became determined to find a position in journalism that would allow him to combat the unsavory image that the news industry has gained. He is dedicated to seeking the truth and exposing the lies disseminated by the mainstream media at the behest of their corporate masters, special interest groups and information gatekeepers.

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