Abandon Ship

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As November rolls inexorably toward us, this fall’s Presidential election is beginning to look less like an orderly handover of executive power and more like an Ultimate Fighting cage match. Unfortunately for President Barack Obama, once a seemingly invincible incumbent, he and his Democratic accomplices are wheezing toward the finish line like Ed Schultz climbing a staircase. In fact, the endless series of scandals in which Obama’s retinue of circus-freak accomplices regularly wallow are beginning to eclipse even the most ardent attempts to maintain the empty hype Obama floated on effortlessly for the better part of his term.

At this point, it’s entirely reasonable to suggest “scandal” now defines Obama’s tenure as much as “ham-fisted incompetence” or “liberal race-baiting.” As April gives way to May, even the corporate media’s best efforts to deny, deflect or dismiss the endless series of Presidential missteps are faltering like Michelle Obama doing “the dougie” on “Dancing with the Stars.”

Attorney General Eric Holder’s starring role in the still-developing Operation Fast and Furious debacle continues to light up the marquee. The latest developments include new information offered by bestselling author and investigative journalist Katie Pavlich. According to Pavlich, Holder — who has raised stone-faced lying and shameless stonewalling to its highest art regardless of any new OFF revelations — is actively suppressing the evidence. When a reporter from the Washington Free Beacon asked for a response to Pavlich’s allegations, one of Holder’s minions referred the reporter to George Soros’ tinfoil-hat brigadiers at Media Matters for America. That’s the modern-day version of directing those who are wary of Karl Marx to seek clarification from Vladimir Lenin.

And yet, Holder still made time to deliver Obama’s not-so-tacit endorsement to the race-pimping “Reverend” Al Sharpton’s hate group, the National Action Network. Considering Holder’s schedule permitted him to hang with the haters at NAN, it’s hard to imagine how he hasn’t found time to acknowledge Border Patrol Agent and OFF victim Brian Terry beyond the Department of Justice briefings about which he swore in front of Congress he knew nothing.

Holder’s visit with Sharpton arrived on the heels of the President’s own impossibly ill-advised decision to release the rodents of racism upon the people of Florida (a key electoral State) because Obama thought Trayvon Martin bore a strong resemblance to his uncle Onyango Obama (or something to that effect). Watching the President of the United States unleash a virtual lynch mob on as-yet-convicted-of-nothing George Zimmerman provided one of the more unsettling moments of the year to date. Watching the President of the United States turn what should never have been more than a local law enforcement issue into a backdoor assault on the Bill of Rights was positively nauseating. Watching both the President of the United States and the Attorney General of the United States look the other way as their beloved beret-bedecked New Black Panther Partiers threatened Zimmerman’s life actually spun toward spooky.

Recently, Democratic Party mouthpiece and CNN contributor Hilary Rosen took a break from her regular visits to the Obama White House to attack stay-at-home motherhood in the person of Ann Romney. Putting aside the strange logic involved in attacking a presumptive nominee’s wife seven months before the election, Rosen’s decision to express out loud what liberals think — but normally keep to themselves — ignored Romney’s work in raising five children, defeating cancer and battling multiple sclerosis.

May will begin the way April is ending. New scandals rise from the blue waters of the Caribbean and the verdant fields of Colombia. John de Jongh, the Democratic Governor of the U.S. Virgin Islands, has been implicated in a scandal that comprises bribery, corruption and high-level Democratic donors Jeffrey Epstein (who admitted he “paid women, some of them under age, to give him massages that ended with a sexual favor”), Obama campaign-donation “bundler” Marjorie Roberts and convicted Ponzi scheme mastermind R. Allen Stanford.  Confronted by the evidence of impropriety (from sources inside the Justice Department), de Jongh tore a page right out of the Obama playbook and claimed racism motivated his accusers.

Cross the sea in a westerly direction and visit the South American nation of Colombia. Admire its lush tropical forests, its azure waters, its coked-out hookers and Obama’s own security detail. Better yet, perhaps a visit to the coca fields is in order. If you go at the right time, perhaps you can catch a glimpse of Democratic mouthpiece and Media Matters underboss David Brock on a “fact-finding” mission.

Back on the mainland, another big-time Democratic bagman and Obama crony remains under the microscope. Former New Jersey Governor and Goldman Sachs boss Jon Corzine popped up in Obama’s latest fundraising reports as a “bundler” despite his central role in the multibillion-dollar, potentially criminal enterprise that brought down MF Global. While Corzine has developed amnesia regarding the whereabouts of a number of investors’ money, he evidently has no trouble recalling the names and numbers of a number of future victims… er… donors. With Corzine bundling cash for Obama, I’m thinking about double-checking the donor list for names like “Gotti.”

Corzine and his pals need to come through in spades for Obama, especially if the U.S. General Services Administration schedules any more five-star shindigs in Sin City. They spent close to $1 million taxpayer dollars — and all the taxpayers got was a Youtube video featuring a song about how much GSA employees enjoy spending taxpayer dollars. Actually, the real gift we received was a booze-soaked reminder of how Obama’s profligacy has trickled down through the Federal bureaucracy like bad tequila.

Lest I forget, it’s entirely possible that none of these scandals — some of which, during a Republican Administration, would have delivered death blows to a re-election campaign — matter if former Constitutional Law professor Obama decides to act on his belief that he outweighs the Supreme Court.

To be fair, scandals go hand in hand with Democrats. Take Obama’s term to date, throw in a pudgy, star-struck intern, and it’s 1998 all over again. Throw in a dead star-struck intern, and it’s Friday night at the Kennedy compound. Obama can’t really help it that his minions have almost comically bad timing. But Obama is the captain of the good ship government; he’s responsible when his sailors sink into scandal.

All hands to the lifeboats.

–Ben Crystal

Ben Crystal

is a 1993 graduate of Davidson College and has burned the better part of the last two decades getting over the damage done by modern-day higher education. He now lives in Savannah, Ga., where he has hosted an award-winning radio talk show and been featured as a political analyst for television. Currently a principal at Saltymoss Productions—a media company specializing in concept television and campaign production, speechwriting and media strategy—Ben has written numerous articles on the subjects of municipal authoritarianism, the economic fallacy of sin taxes and analyses of congressional abuses of power.