A Wing And A Scare


Ripped from the headlines:

“Show Detective Stabler where the man touched you, Johnny.”

Another riveting episode of Law & Order: SVU? Nope — it’s the newest addition: “Law & Order: TSA.” And don’t look for it on television. Check local listings for time and airport.

There are a million jokes I could crack about President Barack Obama’s new fascist false flag flap at the nation’s airports. But bandwidth limits the space available, even if the situation wrought by Obama and his stooges as the height of the holiday travel season arrives provides endless opportunities for comedy. Well, tragicomedy, anyway.

It’s actually difficult to comprehend how we’ve arrived at this moment. The same liberals who shrieked bloody murder at the very idea of waterboarding Islamofascist terrorists are okey-dokey with the idea of taking dirty pictures of Grandma Kettle and copping a feel off Great-Aunt Ida? During the George W. Bush administration, liberals were apoplectic over the idea that we were denying al-Qaida terrorists bacon-free Happy Meals. The same folks are now telling us to live with being fondled by some guy named Mel with an embroidered badge, mustard stains on his high-water pants and a drawer full of rejection letters from the local sheriff’s department.

Should we even be surprised? An administration which has shown unabashed hostility to the majority of the American people since Obama slithered into the White House has decided to obscure their pathetic record on foreign affairs and national security by endeavoring to distract us with a colossal false flag. And now, the $10/hour mouth-breather who would otherwise be slinging coronaries at the airport Cinnabon is the last line of defense between air travelers and the next shoe-bomber. Doesn’t that mean we’re already screwed?

The stories are coming faster than the voters abandoned the Democrats earlier this month. At school or church, these incidents would be considered pedophilia. At LAX, they’re “security.” Some of the anecdotes are wildly exaggerated. Others are not — and require no augmentation to strain credulity. In some cases, the sordid tales of TSA excess come with the kind of pictures which, if found under your mattress, would lead to a date with the FBI.

Witness the nightmarish video from Salt Lake City starring a kid barely old enough to fly without sitting in a parent’s lap. Shot last Friday, the video revealed Transportation Security Administration thugs treating the tyke in a manner which normally requires police intervention, followed by registration with the state. Even the Palestinians don’t treat their kids this poorly; at least not until they’re old enough to walk under the weight of the Semtex vest.

There’s the miserable story out of Detroit in which poor Thomas Sawyer of Lansing, Mich., was treated far worse than we treat the al-Qaida terrorists about whom the liberals are so concerned. Sawyer is a bladder cancer survivor. As a result of his disease, Sawyer has to wear a urostomy bag. Back on Nov. 7, Sawyer went through security at Detroit’s Metropolitan Airport. And the TSA was ready.

“Evidently the scanner picked up on my urostomy bag, because I was chosen for a pat-down procedure…One agent watched as the other used his flat hand to go slowly down my chest. I tried to warn him that he would hit the bag and break the seal on my bag, but he ignored me. Sure enough, the seal was broken and urine started dribbling down my shirt and my leg and into my pants. They never apologized. They never offered to help. They acted like they hadn’t seen what happened. But I know they saw it because I had a wet mark.”

If only Sawyer had shown up wearing a hijab — then the terrorist front-group CAIR might have demanded security personnel check only his head and neck.

These documented instances are but few of the accounts of TSA behavior which are growing at what appear to be a geometric rate. Women and children have been molested; men like Sawyer have been humiliated, all by Obama’s airport animals. Amidst howls of justifiable rage from the flying public, the administration’s response has been laughable — and laughably disharmonious.

The U.S. Secretary of “I’m really not running for President in 2012” Hillary Clinton even acknowledged on her dash through the Sunday morning network chat-fests that she would prefer to avoid Obama’s empty security gestures. Asked if she would submit to some alone-time with a TSA thug, Clinton admitted:

"Not if I could avoid it…I mean, who would?"

She CAN avoid it. You and I… can take Amtrak.

At least Clinton appears to get it. Senator Claire McCaskill (D-Mo.), finds humor in the humiliation of her fellow citizens.

"I am wildly excited about the notion that I can walk through a machine instead of getting my dose of love pats."

Surely, Senator McCaskill, even the TSA’s glorified mall security guards aren’t that hard up.

Meanwhile, backed by Obama’s silly statements regarding the necessity of the new measures, Homeland Secretary Janet Napolitano and TSA Director John Pistole have maintained their stance in favor of getting handsy with citizens. Pistole recently told Congress:

"We know the terrorists’ intent is still there… We are using technology and protocols to stay ahead of the threat and keep you safe. (Several near-misses by terrorists on airplane bombings) got through security because we were not being thorough enough in our pat-downs."

Actually, the threats to which Pistole referred in his testimony — would-be terrorists like Richard Reid and Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab — got through because foreign airports allowed them through; a situation which will remain unchanged no matter how many times some TSA creep touches American travelers’ “junk.”

Pistole’s boss Napolitano makes no effort to wrap herself in the false flag with which Pistole covers himself. Instead, she shares the rest of the liberal ruling elite’s disdain for those of us who fly coach. In addition to suggesting that those averse to spending quality time with Obama’s TSA thugs should consider alternative modes of transportation, she’s also warning intransigent travelers that their refusal to subject themselves to humiliation will carry consequences far more serious than simply arriving late to Thanksgiving dinner.

According to recent reports like this one in the South Florida Sun-Sentinel:

“(Those who refuse to submit to invasive screening procedures) will have to remain on the premises to be questioned by the TSA and possibly by local law enforcement. Anyone refusing faces fines up to $11,000 and possible arrest.”

Just lay there, close your eyes and try to live through it.

Of course, we can avoid having to play “hide the cookies” with the TSA, provided we’re willing to:

  1. Be “scanned” by devices which not only reveal enough to make even Larry Flynt uncomfortable, but deliver enough radiation to make frequent flyers grow extra toes.
  2. Gamble that the supposedly instantly deleted images will actually be instantly deleted and not spread across the Internet by perverted TSA personnel. Oops — spoke too soon.
  3. Eschew air travel and go Greyhound. Enjoy 18 hours sitting next to a guy who smells like hamsters and feet.

There is another option. We can refuse. We can grind the nation’s airways to a halt. All right, we can grind the nation’s airways to even more of a halt than the airlines have already ground them. It’s not as if the airlines will suffer for the loss of paying customers — they’ll end up getting another multi-billion dollar bailout.

We can finally stand up to the increasingly despotic liberal regime and cry with one voice:

“We had better get some freaking peanuts after this!”

Personal Liberty

Ben Crystal

is a 1993 graduate of Davidson College and has burned the better part of the last two decades getting over the damage done by modern-day higher education. He now lives in Savannah, Ga., where he has hosted an award-winning radio talk show and been featured as a political analyst for television. Currently a principal at Saltymoss Productions—a media company specializing in concept television and campaign production, speechwriting and media strategy—Ben has written numerous articles on the subjects of municipal authoritarianism, the economic fallacy of sin taxes and analyses of congressional abuses of power.

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