A Little Pun-ishment For You

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*Lighten up, for goodness’ sakes.  Yes, we’ve been pretty serious for the past few issues of Chip Shots and Straight Talk. (And come to think of it, in This Week in History, too.)  So this week, let’s lighten up a bit.

An alert reader told me that, because of the weak business climate, there will be a ton of mergers and acquisitions coming down the pike.  He urged me to “get in on the ground floor.”  If we do, he promised, we can make some big bucks.  I know you’ll want to get in on some of these deals, too. So as a public service, here’s an advance peek at some of the headlines you’ll be seeing in the coming weeks and months:

  • Hale Business Systems will enter into a four-way merger with Mary Kay Cosmetics, Fuller Brush Co., and W.R. Grace. The new entity will be known as Hale Mary Fuller Grace.
  • Polygram Records, Warner Bros. and Zesta® Crackers will unite to become Poly Warner Cracker.
  • Zippo Manufacturing, Audi Motors, Dofasco and Dakota Mining will merge to become ZipAudiDoDa.
  • FedEx and its major competitor, UPS, will soon be one entity. Yes, it will be known as FedUP.
  • Think that’s bad? In one of the most unusual mergers ever, Knott’s Berry Farm and the National Organization for Women will merge to become Knott NOW!
  • Finally, Victoria’s Secret and Smith & Wesson will merge under their new name, TittyTittyBangBang.

And that, I think, is pun-ishment enough for one day.

— Chip Wood

Chip Wood

is the geopolitical editor of PersonalLiberty.com. He is the founder of Soundview Publications, in Atlanta, where he was also the host of an award-winning radio talk show for many years. He was the publisher of several bestselling books, including Crisis Investing by Doug Casey, None Dare Call It Conspiracy by Gary Allen and Larry Abraham and The War on Gold by Anthony Sutton. Chip is well known on the investment conference circuit where he has served as Master of Ceremonies for FreedomFest, The New Orleans Investment Conference, Sovereign Society, and The Atlanta Investment Conference.

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