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A Letter From Barry

February 29, 2012 by  

Dear Joe:

Joe, as you know, my popularity numbers have been dropping faster than a free-falling safe. I’ve tried all the usual stuff like blaming my predecessor for everything, making up personal experience stories and flat out lying. The economy is in the toilet, and we are fighting so many wars that they even want me to give back my Peace Prize.  I’ve tried the liberal-standard “deny, deflect, delay” schemes and nothing has worked, so I’m in a bind. You know we even got the kids a dog and he really likes peeing in the Rose Garden. Michelle is really fond of all the servants, and I’m hooked on being able to play golf on all the best courses and not having to worry about inconvenient tee times. My Messiah image is getting shopworn, and people are talking about me being a one-term president.

You, on the other hand, have been a constant source of much amusement with your gaffes and have earned the reputation of being the village idiot. Hillary said, “It takes a village.” People can’t wait to see which foot you will put in your mouth next.

I’ve got a healthcare bill that I convinced the Congress to ram through, never thinking in my wildest dreams that anybody would actually read it. Well, they did read it, and I look like an idiot. I’ve got Attorney General Eric “Fast and Furious” Holder hanging around my neck like an anchor, but he’s “one of my people” so he’s untouchable. What I really need is a way to deflect attention from my lack of accomplishment and experience.

I’ve got the Occupy Wall Street bunch, which I initially supported. I even made a statement in support of them. Well, it turns out I backed the wrong horse in that race, because they are showing themselves to be nothing more than dope-smoking weirdos who don’t even want a job. Let’s face it: Defecating on a police car or stealing from a church is not something that looks good on a resume. Hey, even the American Nazi Party endorsed them! Luckily, Nancy (God Bless Them) Pelosi and Maxine Waters also praised them; so I can have my mouthpiece, Jay Carney, say something like, “What the President really meant,” thereby deflecting the blame.

I keep saying that we need to tax the millionaires, but the fact of the matter is that they are becoming an endangered species because of the lousy economy. Back in 2007, there were 400,000 of them; but in 2009, they dropped to just 235,000. I know what you’re going to tell me is that there are still enough of them to fill my re-election campaign coffers but I’ve got to protect what I’ve got, because the truth of the matter is that it doesn’t look like there are going to be any new millionaires anytime soon. The number of people 16 and older who have been unemployed for more than a year averaged 1.3 million in the past three recessions, but in 2010 there were 4.3 million. Twenty -Ten, Joe, that’s on my watch!! So how do I deflect that?

Joe, I have to cut this short because I have a 10 a.m. tee time. I’ll only be able to play 18 holes because Michelle wants me to take her out on a date night later on. Jeez, there’s not enough time to squeeze all this in. So let me get right to the point: I need you to take one on the chin for the home team. There’s no easy way to say it so I’ll come right out with it. Joe, I’m dumping you as my Vice President. There, I said it. You’re an old politician so you know it’s not personal, just business.

Look at what Hillary can bring to the table once you announce that you are stepping down for health reasons or because you want to spend more time with your family — you know the line. The most important thing is that she hasn’t been associated with the disastrous economic policies. Another thing is that she is going to be bringing the older white folks with her, and we need those votes — especially the women’s. She’ll also be bringing Bill. Lots of younger women like him, and he likes lots of younger women. More votes.

As you know, I’ll be going on another vacation with Michelle, the kids, the mother- in- law and about 50 close friends next week. Will that give you enough time to make your announcement, or do I need to get some of my Chicago friends to make you an offer you can’t refuse?

I’m also still searching all 57 states for any remaining golf courses I may have missed, so my time is limited.

Remember: It’s just business,

Barry

BARACK


–Frank Grochowski

Special To Personal Liberty

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  • jopa

    Wow this site is really becoming a true work of fiction.How can anyone say this place has any credibility when it constantly makes up fictitious stories and outright lies like the GOP candidates.I noticed quite a few of the regulars are disappearing from here probably out of disbelief and boredom.Like they say you can fool some of the people some of the time.

    • Oredson

      Yes, but some fools can be fooled all the time.

      • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100002886439095 Corky Corcoran

        Only those Democrats and liberals that still bury their heads in the sand!

      • http://personalliberty.com Alondra

        Oredson,
        Jopa is not fool. He is the Berry’s hoax. By deceptive tricks and mockery his boss promotes his communistic ideology and satanic theology.
        Jopa is employed by Berry.

    • Gwen

      I actually found it to be quite humerous, a breath of fresh air and, in fact, much more fact than fiction. This is the way Obama thinks, no doubt about it, get over it!

      • Sheila

        hog wash

      • Amanda

        Here, here Gwen! Those of you who do not want your freedoms and liberties that are guaranteed by the constitution should just go ahead and get in line at the CENTRAL SERVICES DEPARTMENT AND BE DOCUMENTED AND MICROCHIPPED LIKE THE ANIMALS YOU ARE! AND YOU’LL GET EXACTLY WHAT YOU DESERVE!

        “I see in the near future a crisis approaching that unnerves me and causes me to tremble for the safety of my country. Corporations have been enthroned, an era of corruption in high places will follow, and the money-power of the country will endeavor to prolong it’s reign by working upon the prejudices of the people until the wealth is aggregated in a few hands and the Republic is destroyed.”
        Abraham Lincoln

      • laverne pritchard

        I cannot get over it Gwen. In all my years, America has never had a man like this for President.
        UNBELIEVABLE!!!!!!! AND SO SAD FOR MY GRANDCHILDREN. PLEASE DO NOT VOTE FOR HIM FOR THE SAKE OF OUR COUNTRY AND OUR GRANDCHILDREN.
        PLEASE VOTE THIS PERSON OUT OF OFFICE AND DO SOMETHING ABOUT A FEW PEOPLE HE HAS PUT ON THE SUPREME COURT THAT IS A TRAVESTRY.
        GOD HELP US ALL.

      • Christin

        Gwen,
        I agree… it was humorous and is does appear to be more fact than fiction… too bad it wasn’t barry who was stepping down… also!

      • Rayma

        Gwen,your thinking is off base, why not go for the CURE instead of just putting a BAND-AIDE on the problem,lets get back to basics at what made this country so GREAT! IF ALL the people that REALLY cared for this UNITED STATES were to vote RON PAUL they would have to give it to him, HE is the only one who can save AMER{ICA,THEY the “eletes”are planning on putting Jeb Bush in, WATCH! I am 80 so my insite goes back a long ways Newt is one of them that are trying to bring down this country,the rest are just for show, with the same gov. spending.They are “afraid” of Ron Paul, he would save the US and they know it. that is why they are considering on bringing Jeb Bush out to try to save thier “one world government” and make us ALL slaves to them, or destroy us “Oldies”I have watched the background of all these men One term in office Ron Paul could put this country back where we should be in our CONSTITUTION.

        • Gwen

          Sorry Rayma, Ron Paul is a very nice, well meaning man, BUThe does NOT have the inside track on DC. True, he has been a Senator for quite some time, but he still would be under water if thrust into the White House. Newt Gingrich is the ONLY one running that has the KNOWLEDGE and EXPERIENCE to wade through and correct the mess that obama has created.

    • s c

      Well, j, I see you were up bright and early today. Were your eyes closed? Aside from your usual crap, I noticed that you didn’t say even ONE word about this topic. That, comrade, makes you a utopian who can’t stick to an issue. When you do manage that, your comments are set at roughly the 8th grade level.
      If Obummer could ever write an article like this one, he’d be 10 times smarter than he is, and he’d also figure out that America already has WAYYYYY too many career criminals.
      And YOU look UP to him? Slap yourself on the back, comrade. Your standards for a prez are as low as your own standards. You deserve each other. Maybe he’ll adopt you.

    • Katherine

      Tho it be fiction, it is the way Barry O. thinks. So all the more reason why we need RON PAUL now, so he can put our country back on track. The media is not a fair player.

  • Vigilant

    Kudos to Frank Grochowski! This is by far the best submission to date. I put you above Ben Crystal on this one (no offense intended, Ben).

    On this site, jopa’s grumblings are tantamount to a ringing endorsement, so not to worry.

    Absolutely delightful!

  • BGinTN

    :-)

    P.S. Joe about the GOP side, I like Romney, he is one of us. And he will easy to defeat. Santorum is another Bush “Compassionate Conservative” and we know, no one wants another Bush III. That Gingrich fellow scares me, maybe we can keep pushing the personal stuff to hide just how smart he is. As for Anti the Fed. Paul past newsletters and the Bankers will stop him. By the time our friends in the Media get through with him he will retire to Texas.

    • Gwen

      BGinTN, You need to seriously re-assess Newt Gingrich. In my view, he is the only candidate running with the knowledge, and intelligence to outwit “the great pretender”. Romney smacks of the old “snake oil salesman”, a smile for everyone, and whatever you want to hear. Much like Obama did. We can’t take a chance with newcomers at this stage of the game, TOO MUCH is at stake. Read Newt’s Contracts with America. Forget about his over thirty year old personal matrimonial problems. They are extrememly weak as opposed to the antics we all had to overlook in the Kennedy and Clinton administrations, and probably more that we never got to hear about. Get a life, for heavens sake, and open your eyes to reality!

      • Lyta Hudinky

        My sentiments exactly Gwen!!! What I like best about Newt is his spunk. He doesn’t back off from anyone!!!! I still remember when he got so disgusted with the other members of the congress that he finally just stood up, told them off and walked. There are so many dumb members in our congress, it is disgusting. Most of them are bought so their reasoning makes no sense. They are just arguing because they want to get bills passed so they can collect their pay-off. Newt doesn’t put up with it. That’s why the Democrats don’t like him. He makes them look bad. He doesn’t back down to anyone!!! His marriage problems are between him and his wife. I don’t worry about his personal relationships as long as he keeps them out of the oval office!!!!

    • http://personalliberty.com Alondra

      P.S. Joe, George Soros, the great satanic theologian and my financier and the mentor of my media, thinks that between my majesty and Mitt Romney “there isn’t all that much difference” in the White House.

      If Romney becomes president “so it won’t be that great a difference,” Soros guess.
      Yep, Romney is WHITE REPUBLICAN Berry, but I am not sure what he likes more: golf or basketball. And probably he did not have homosexual relations. As you know, he is a Mormon and I am from the Black Marxist Church. There were a few openly-homics, including the choir-director. Unfortunately he was murdered. I guess you read the report of the investigative journalist Wayne Madsen about it. And of course you are familiar with my relation with Larry Sinclair.

      So, Joe, I think that Soros’ endorsement of Romney gave the green light for al leftists: marxist, communists, islamists, fascists, liberals and democrats, to vote for him in case if Supreme Court will send me to jail in beautiful bracelets.

      BARACK HUSSEIN OBAMA, a/k/a BARACK HUSSEIN SOETORO a/k/a BARRY H. OBAMA a/k/a BARRY H. SOETORO a/k/a BARRY HUSSEIN OBAMA a/k/a BARRY HUSSEIN SOETORO a/k/a HARRISON J. BOUNELL

  • GiveMeLiberty

    Jopa…I’m not sure how you’re making that assessment accurately. Either way, this web site and it’s contributors rock. Always informative and always like it is. I’ve been a political analyst for almost 35 years now; few, if any, tell it as honestly as PLD!

    Mr. Grochowski….Great, humorous article and do keep on with the ‘Barry’ reference. I always contend, it is his Christian name but then again, you’d have to actually be a Christian to KEEP it.

    Small, Limited Government (with a STRONG Military) + Individual & Fiscal Responsibility + Free Markets = TRUE LIBERTY
    ~Me

  • Bob Marshall

    Obama is fortunate that million of citizens don’t bother to read books like THE MANCHURIAN PRESIDENT, AUDACITY of DECEIT, CORE of CORRUPTION, DREAMS FROM MY FATHER, or THE ROOTS of OBAMA”S RAGE or do their own research or he would be a one term president.

  • Pat Gilbreath

    What an article. Right on the button. We must have a change this Nov. So get all you people who love America out to vote.

  • Gwen

    BGinTN
    I appreciate your dry humor, but took the opportunity to air my views. Forgive me?

  • Buck

    YEAH ! HILLARY ! The ORIGINAL socialized medicine salesman and pusher , that will make a GREAT club for us republicans , or at least any one that can find their testicles . Come on RON PAUL , step forward .

  • Lanley

    Obama just wants to drop predator bombs, play golf, spend tax dollars on parties and rewrite the constitution to suit himself and his power elite masters. He’s a bore and a fraud but sure sells a lot of snake oil to some unsuspecting sheeple.

  • Vic

    Hey joe disregard my first letter, I was out drinking with the GOP its the only way I can get any love from these guys . I now understand why they come up with there crazy ideas of how a government is suppose to work….. Or should I say not work… Lol just joking , I kid the GOP ! At any rate I with my drinking partner W got to playing a little role play game where he would be the president that was good for america & I pretend to be a republican with his head up his ass blinded by the flow bull sh@$ flying ! I know understand how these republicans think…. Or don’t think I should say, and will now consider not caving to there pressures and following through with my “actual” plan for recovery and not just a campaign of incorrect slurs and rhetoric !! So worry not I’m on the job and for America’s sake hopefully will continue to be after 2012 ! That is if voters aren’t so ignorant to think after eight yrs with my buddy W and his crazy 8 yrs of spending and giving to his cronies wont take at least 8 yrs to fix , and replenish America ! So here we are joe looking forward and upward , and I can’t afford any more of my precious little time on letters to you , I’m sorry you fell for the GOP bs but I can’t hold your hand and I won’t lie like they do, so all I can say is vote your mind . Do the research and form your own opinion and never mind what’s being filibustered right now! If you do I’m confident I as well as America will finish up this turn around !
    Thanks for listening and god bless you and yours…… Vic…. Or uh Barack

  • Brandan T.

    Gwen. Are you serious? If you are going to express your thoughts on the internet for the whole world to see, you would think you would do a little research to keep yourelf from looking so ridiculous. You say Ron Paul has been a senator for quite some time? How long has he been a senator Gwen? That is certainly new information to me, I have been under the impression for many years now that he was a representative, as in the U.S. House of Representatives!! You say he doesn’t have the experience that Newt has? Is that a joke? I certainly hope it is. If you refer to ron pauls experience with cheating on his wife and destroying our country and constitution you would certainly be right. I suggest you look at Rep. Ron Paul’s voting record compared to Mr. Newt’s. You say democrats hate newt? That’s awfully odd, being as he has been a co-sponsor of more democrat’s legislation than he has republicans. Newt is not a constitutionalist, nor is he a true american that believes in returning our country to greatness, ending the endless wars, wasteful federal spending, federal overreach into states rights, and the list goes on and on. Look at the facts Gwen, and I would say you change your view of Mr. Newt and Rep. Ron Paul!! I suggest you derive your opinions from the facts, and not from the great deal of nonsense that MSNBC litters this country’s airwaves with!!!

  • Kevin Beck

    I was hoping he would just submit his resignation letter by now!

  • Michael J.

    Dear Barry,
    I too am concerned over your plummetting poll numbers which have now declined to 41%, a number which is about half of my intelligence quotient. But fear not, the Alinsky inspired bag of tricks is a virtual bottomless pit. Have patience, a viable contengency will soon emerge which will once again have those faux poll numbers surging. You know, a little strategically implemented bribary mixed with some career crushing blackmale foistered against an opponents dirty laundry that’s been allowed to collect dust in a closet until just the right useful moment.

    As for your request that I abdicate the position of Vice President, let me start by saying that we both know that I was chosen to be the designated white guy in your administration, and to cover for your lack of experience both in domestic and foreign policy. And that I, like you was so starved for power and the accompanying financial gain that narcissist like us crave, that I was willing to take on a role similar to that of George Jefferson’s white neighbor and sraight man who was always portrayed as a dunce. For this invaluable service and the three and a half years of irrevocable belittlement that my image has sustained, my price is much higher. I propose swapping places with Hillary, she can be your VP, and I will assume her responsibilities as Secretary of State. I also require your word that I will not be thrown under the bus as was done to Blago. Your personal assurance on this issue will be effing golden to me.

    As a word of advise however, you may want to clean-up Hillary’s greasy haired Hildebeast image. For this I reccomend she become a part-time Fox News correspondent. They are adept at the art of transfoming frumpy houswives into supermilf’s. Rupert Murdoch loves a challenge and would consider it to be like an epic journey, and not unlike Star Trek an the endeavor ” To boldy go where no man has gone before” (except Bill that is).
    Allways yours in tyranny, Joe Obiden

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