What A Guy

How many people would have done this? A tip of the Chip Shots hat to Christian Lopez, a 23-year-old baseball fan who managed to snag a home run ball off the bat of Derek Jeter. But not just any ball — it happened to be Jeter’s 3,000^th hit. The slugger was the first Yankee in history to achieve this awesome record. Rather than keep it, sell it or negotiate with the Yankee slugger for it, Lopez gave back the ball. He could have sold it for more than $200,000, collectibles experts say. Nice going, Mr. Lopez.

And a chorus of boos for the jerk who did this. I was traveling abroad and missed the final round of the U.S. Open. So I was shocked to learn that some idiot at NBC decided to edit a broadcast of the Pledge of Allegiance. The pinhead deleted the words “under God” from the airing, apparently afraid that some atheistic golf fan would be offended. The network apologized profusely afterward. But it’s significant, I think, that someone in control of what we see would do this… and his boss would OK it.

Do they cancel each other out? I received a fortune cookie at a luncheon recently and to my surprise found three fortunes inside. The first said “There is no limit to intelligence.” Mmm, can’t argue with that. The second read, “No matter what you do, there will be critics.” Since I was at a conference with more than 100 speakers, I knew that one was true. The third promised, “You will soon make a wise investment.” You can guess which one I want to come true.

A fatwa against Fido. I had to read the story twice to make sure it wasn’t a spoof. Seems the authorities in Iran have declared war on any decadent Iranian who wants to own a pooch. Last year, Ayatollah Naser Makarem Shirazi issued a fatwa, or religious edict, against dog ownership. This year, the Iranian parliament decreed that dog ownership was a sign of “vulgar Western culture” and made it illegal. As a result, there’s a black market in dogs in the country, with smugglers being paid thousands of dollars to bring a puppy to an eager owner. Aren’t you glad to live in a country where we still have most of our freedoms?

—Chip Wood